


The Artifact

by bioplast_hero



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Age Difference, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Angst, Astral Projection, Barely 18, Bottom Keith (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Except not really because time travel, Finale Divergent, Fix-It, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Disaster Boys, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Highly Emotional Smut, Intersex Keith (Voltron), M/M, Magic ie Altean alchemy, Major character death - Freeform, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Porn with Feelings, Romance, Shiro POV, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Trans Keith (Voltron), canon compliant through s7, confession of feelings, lots of first kisses, trans author
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2019-10-18 04:37:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 55,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17574011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioplast_hero/pseuds/bioplast_hero
Summary: Shiro woke with a start, grasping at his bare chest.He was in bed on the Atlas. For a fleeting moment he took sanctuary in the notion that it had all been a dream. He’d never gone on that terrible mission. He hadn’t watched Keith die. He hadn’t ripped their reality apart with the power of a strange artifact that left him feeling cold as death inside.Real as it had felt, he wanted nothing more than to forget.But the illusion couldn’t last. His fingertips found purchase against the edge of something hard and cold embedded in his chest where his breastbone should be. He was afraid to look.His fingers traced the long edge, blade-like, coming to a slightly rounded tip where his last ribs met.





	1. Seek

**Author's Note:**

> This fic explores canon events starting partway through S8 and moving backward in time, disrupting the canon timeline repeatedly. Major character death is a repeated theme, but ( _cough_ ) time travel. It's gonna be okay! Expect happy endings. 
> 
> Also loaded with highly self-indulgent and emotional smut. Because I picture these boys having the most cathartic, soul-rending sex after all they’ve been through, and this fic puts them through a _lot_. 
> 
> *Content warnings*
> 
> QUEER - INTERSEX - TRANS TOPICS  
> I wanted to make Keith’s sexual anatomy intersex in human terms, though it is left ambiguous whether this is more common for Galra. Keith seems to think it is. To be really plain about it, he’s got a dick and a cunt and I talk about both, though trying to be artful about it in the narrative lol. I would not call Keith trans in this story, but I leave that for you to interpret for yourselves.
> 
> AGE DIFFERENCE - DE-AGING - BARELY 18  
> Because this story moves backwards in time, relationships established in the future seep into their shared experiences at an earlier and earlier age as the story progresses. They’ll go back as far as the start of season 1; Keith is still legal, but their mental ages are even more divergent than the 18/25 split in the canon. Plain and simple, the guy Shiro finally admitted feelings for in season 8 was no longer a teenager. When he sees Keith younger and younger, Shiro recognizes his feelings were always there even if he denied them before. I think their circumstances are pretty unique, but if you think the age dynamics will squick you out, give it a pass.
> 
> Also, this story is full of actual plot and adventure! I hope you enjoy it.

+++

 

Shiro woke with a start, his hand clutching at his heart which was hammering in his chest.

He was alone in his room in the middle of the night. The lions were back in their hangers on the Atlas, another mission safely concluded the day before. Everyone was home, everyone was safe. For now.

He had dreamt of something blue and sharp, bright like a star, but the memory was receding fast. He didn’t chase it. Shiro preferred to let the astral plane fall away from him as quickly as possible; he’d spent more than enough time there for his tastes.

He stretched, calming his nerves. Waking up in a rush of anxiety was all too familiar, and the odds of getting back to sleep were questionable at best. His thoughts went where they often did late at night. Keith’s eyes, looking at him from across the room.

Keith standing by his side, practically touching though the distance felt like miles.

Keith’s smile, understated but no less expressive—to Shiro, at least, who knew every quirk of his mouth so well.

Keith’s lips when he was thinking, forming a thin, hard line, holding an unspoken question.

Shiro had agonized over these things for months, coming to terms with feelings he had long ignored. He should tell Keith how he feels. He should tell him the truth. He knew Keith needed to hear it, too, that he felt the same desire. That much was clear by now. It may have been so for years, if he’d only ever let himself see it for what it was.

And was it so wrong for them to have this? Couldn’t they fight for the universe all the same, but wake up in each other’s arms?

But what to say. How to say it, and when. There was always something getting in the way. The war raged on, while Shiro stole private looks at the man he couldn’t help loving.

Usually he found Keith looking, too.

Shiro pictured his hands coming to Keith's face, fingers tangling in his hair as their lips met. He imagined the slow drag of Keith’s tongue against his, pressing into his body with a subtle rock of the hips. Even in his own fantasy, Shiro shuddered with need.

Laying on his back in his mostly dark cabin, Shiro felt his hardness through his boxer briefs. Maybe if he just took the edge off he could get back to sleep.

He pulled the waistband down from his hips. As he held his cock in his hand, feeling the tip already slick, he imagined pressing Keith into a wall, unfastening the tactical bodysuit Keith always wore beneath his armor and kissing down the length of his torso as the suit fell away. He tried to imagine how Keith’s breathing would sound—if he would moan softly, barely loud enough to hear. If he would whimper, if he would groan from the tension knotted in his belly.

Shiro stroked himself harder as imagined lowering himself to his knees in front of Keith. There he pressed several kisses into the bulge of Keith’s arousal, nuzzling his cock with his face and looking up at Keith’s wide eyes. He wouldn’t look away as he lowered Keith’s briefs and licked at the tip, salty and slick. Keith would pant hungrily as Shiro stroked the length of him with his tongue.

Shiro thought of swallowing him whole, Keith’s cock sliding deep into the heat of his throat. Keith's guttural moan, his eyes squeezing shut and head falling back, steadying himself on the wall as Shiro swallowed him again and again. It was too much; pleasure overwhelmed him. Shiro thought of Keith finishing hard in his throat as he came in his own hand.

It felt good to be spent. The tension would dissipate, for a while at least, but the longing never did. He kicked the blanket off his feet and paced to the shower.

It was the middle of the night, but Shiro had no illusions of returning to sleep. He dressed in his uniform and wandered the halls of the Atlas as he’d done many times, headed for the wing closest to the lion’s hangers where the paladins’ cabins were arranged.

He passed Keith’s door on his way to the observation deck. He imagined him sleeping, recovering his strength from another hard mission. He pictured the way his hair would splay out on the pillow, the muscles of his face relaxed in sleep.

It was different being with the Atlas and her crew all the time—easier in some ways, lonelier in others. Commanding the pride and joy of Earth and her crew of career Garrison officers had a lot to recommend it, but he missed being a part of that motley crew of paladins that he considered his family. He helped them grow up, but they shaped him, too. He didn't love how their roles had diverged. Occasionally he left the Atlas on missions, when he was needed. He and the Atlas crew were still always right there, backing Voltron up. But there was a new distance between him and the team, even with Keith. It was hard not to feel like his chance to speak up was slipping away.

He never did get back to sleep.

 

+

 

Early that morning, Shiro walked to the break room to grab a coffee and some fruit. Idly juggling an apple, he wondered how early was _too_ early to take his post on the bridge. The urgent incoming message from Commander Iverson was nearly a pleasant surprise. It's not that he yearned for conflict or danger; Shiro would be the first to celebrate putting this damn war behind them, but he wouldn't be hanging around here when all was said and done. If there was one impulse about which Shiro felt entirely unconflicted, it was the drive to have something worthwhile to _do._

Shiro flicked open the message at his wrist even as he paced quickly towards the door:  _Captain Shirogane: We’ve got a situation brewing. According to the Marmora it's a real mess, no time to lose. Kolivan will brief you with the rest of the team._

 _“Paladins to the briefing room at once.”_  That was Iverson’s voice over the ship-wide comm.

Shiro hurried to the conference room, already abuzz with bridge crew, and headed straight for Iverson.

“What do we have?”

Iverson scowled at no one in particular. It was more like a permanent expression than an actual mood. “Honestly, all this magic and mystery is beyond my comprehension. But when Kolivan says he’s got intelligence on Honerva’s next big move and that we're not gonna like it, I figure that’s Priority One.”

Shiro felt eyes on him and turned slightly to see Keith looking at him as he walked to the far side of the table, finding a seat between Allura and Hunk. Looking around, Shiro could see everyone was there.

Shiro nodded and took his own seat. Iverson immediately turned the meeting over to Kolivan.

“We have intercepted critical intelligence from some of Honerva’s forces in the Manok system,” Kolivan began the briefing by summoning an image on the holographic screens in the Atlas’ main conference room.

The image looked to be from an ancient, illuminated text. The illustration depicted an Altean alchemist, judging by the markings beneath their eyes and the brilliant, ethereal hair. Hanging from their neck was a stone pendant, aquamarine like a Balmeran crystal, set in some kind of brilliant metal. The stone was large and long like a dagger, hanging the length of the wearer’s breastbone.

“It can’t be,” Allura muttered to herself. Shiro glanced around, and found that all the Alteans looked uneasy.

“The witch has been searching for this Altean artifact which has... reality-altering properties,” Kolivan’s tone was foreboding. “The intelligence that we received indicates that they have news of its whereabouts—or more accurately, they have discovered the key to the artifact's true location. And now, we have this knowledge as well."

Keith shifted his eyes to Allura’s stricken face and back to Kolivan. “Um. What does it do?”

“It’s full capabilities are unknown, as is true of most Altean alchemy, lost to obscurity long ago. The little that we do know is… unsettling. The legend says that it connects the wearer to the essence of time, giving them the ability to manipulate the timeline at will.”

Gasps rose from several participants, including most of the paladins.

“And now we know Honerva is on its trail,” Kolivan concluded. 

“We must stop her!” Allura rose to her feet, stricken with panic. “If this artifact falls into Honerva’s hands, she will be unstoppable! She could take us back to the golden era of Galra rule, undo everything we have worked for, plunge the universe into darkness again—”

“—She would, like, know every move we ever made, and we’d be none the wiser,” Lance muttered softly, turning a sickly shade of green.

Pidge chimed in with horror in her voice. “She’d probably just go back ten thousand years! None of us would have ever existed—”

Everyone was talking at once.

Keith gently placed a hand on Allura’s arm, raising his voice. “Everybody, please. We’re not going to let that happen.” Silence fell over the group. Allura lowered herself to her seat, hardly soothed but reining herself in.

“You are all correct,” Kolivan said levelly. “The threat is grave. And that is why you must recover the artifact first.”

“Where is it?” Shiro asked.

Kolivan looked at Allura. “Would you prefer to explain?”

“Me? Ah, no,” she fidgeted. “I’m afraid childhood fables are all that I have to offer. I never imagined the amulet to be _real_.”

“Very well,” Kolivan cleared his throat, “As the legend goes, the amulet was deemed too powerful for any mortal to possess. No one could be trusted to resist the temptation to alter the timeline. Even if well-intended, this much power could only lead to ruin.”

“So… did they bury it somewhere?” Shiro asked. The pace of Kolivan's storytelling was starting to make him twitch behind the eyes. 

“It was said that a loyal Altean mage meditated for many movements in the astral plane. He selected a hidden place somewhere in the galaxy where he believed the artifact would never be found. Somewhere accessible only through that dimension. He made arrangements, and then projected his consciousness there and brought the artifact with him.”

Shiro was shocked. “But- How? That goes against everything we’ve ever learned about the astral plane!”

Shiro knew the astral dimension all too well. After his consciousness drifted there for over a year, he found it uncomfortable even to sleep for very many hours at a time. Without thinking about it, he would start projecting again, his consciousness always lapping at the edge of the spirit world like waves caressing the shore.

“How is it possible to bring an _object_ to the astral place?”

Kolivan nodded solemnly. “We do not know. The theory goes that the artifact is more of that world than this one. Perhaps the deeper mystery lies in how it was ever made manifest in this plane.”

Shiro nodded at that, looking pensive. That, at least, made sense, but it was strange news. The thought of that place made his stomach twist.

“If the stories are true," Kolivan continued, "they say that the steward asked that his body be killed after the artifact left the material plane, ensuring that the secret of its location would be lost with the mage.”

Though some of the crew looked shocked, Shiro only nodded. He understood making sacrifices, had been there more often than he had any business being. He felt Keith's eyes on him but kept his gaze steady on the Blades leader before them. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what Keith's look meant. 

A frustrated sigh came from Allura. “How does Honerva intend to find it, when the greatest alchemists of that time never could?” she demanded, apparently also growing impatient.

Kolivan nodded sagely. “Her druids have been seeking it for many deca-phoebs. They have isolated its pattern in that realm, discovering the rare mineral it was created from. Now it is only a matter of time before they find the source material, which they believe will lead them to the artifact. We intercepted information regarding the mineral’s only known location. We must go there now, find the source, and recover the amulet before she can.”

“But… Kolivan, how are we to do that?” Allura demanded. “We don’t exactly have any great Altean alchemists with us. Certainly you aren’t expecting this kind of ability from me!”

“No, princess. The key is not alchemy, but rather an understanding of the astral realm. That is why Captain Shirogane is the key to this mission.”

All faces turned to look at him. Shiro felt his skin crawl.

“Me.” It was more a statement than a question. He didn’t like to talk about the time he spent unmoored in the astral void, but he knew that he was uniquely qualified to navigate that place.

“Yes,” Kolivan confirmed, clearing his throat. “Captain Shirogane will need to be in physical contact with the artifact’s element to readily find its pattern in the astral realm. And it will be a dangerous mission. Honerva’s forces will no doubt be racing to the identified coordinates at the very same time that you are.”

Several of the paladins gulped.

“That is the bad news. The good news is that we are significantly closer to the material’s location,” Kolivan called up the conference room’s star chart, with a marker indicating the nearby Kynar system. “We will arrive in less than a day.”

“Well, I guess that’s something,” Hunk winced. “Got any _more_ good news?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Kolivan replied dryly. “We also believe that Honerva is most likely unaware that we have discovered the message intended for her druids. We believe that we have the element of surprise.”

“Well, then. We have no time to lose,” Shiro responded. “Thank you, Kolivan. Commander Iverson, plot a course. You’ve got the bridge.”

Iverson hurried from the room. Shiro rolled his shoulders, trying to clear his head. Contemplating astral projection was enough to give him a raging headache, even when there wasn't a dangerous mission depending on it. “Everyone else, let's talk tactics. How exactly is this going to work?”

“Wait,” Allura sounded uncertain. “What will be done with it, once we find it? None of us can withstand its power to corrupt. We- we cannot use it.”

“We don’t want to use it,” Shiro responded quietly, heads nodding all around him, “but I see your point. Could we destroy it?” His eyes darted to Kolivan.

“I have no information regarding attempts to destroy the artifact. It may be possible. Or it may not.”

“And if we recover it and we cannot destroy it,” Allura looked past them all, distracted with worry, “might this be exactly how Honerva gets her hands on it? What if we recover it and cannot protect it from her?”

“We have to. Everything that we know depends on it,” Keith said levelly, his eyes on Allura. He turned to look at Shiro. “Everyone we love.”

“Princess," Shiro responded softly, trying not to feel Keith’s eyes burning into him. "These are all important concerns, and we don’t have all the answers. But, if we don’t try, what then? If we truly believe that I might be able to do this, then certainly there’s nothing I can do that she _can’t_ with time. I believe we have to try.”

 

+

 

Shiro woke with a jolt, pulling back from the astral plane. He was projecting again. It made him feel strange, waking up from that. Like the edges in this world were more blurred, his body not completely his. Which, of course, struck a bit too close to home.

Sleepless and unsettled, Shiro again found himself wandering the halls of that great ship to the observation deck in the paladin’s wing. He gravitated there just to be closer to them. Closer to _him._ The lights were off, the spacious room lit only by streaming starlight as the Atlas rushed towards the danger that awaited them at Kynar in the morning.

Shiro stood in front of those windows for a long time, thinking about the mission. About the artifact that would destroy their world if they didn’t get to it first. And- really, they would never know if they lost the race. This moment would just blink out of existence.

He thought of Keith, and the way his mouth moved when he said  _love_ in the briefing, looking directly at him. Not like the first time he said it, filled with agony and grief. No, not like that. He spoke with calm certainty.

How could Shiro live with himself if he didn’t come clean? What if he never got the chance? For easily the hundredth time, Shiro tried on the words he needed to say, turning them over and over in his mind.

“Can’t sleep?”

Shiro turned with a gentle start, not expecting any company here at this hour. Least of all Keith, silent as a cat, who should definitely be asleep right now before their mission.

Gathering himself, he couldn’t resist a small smile as Keith approached his side in the dark.

“No, not really.”

“Me neither.” Keith rested a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, turning him to face him. Shiro tried to read his expression, and came up empty. Was he sad? Was it hope?

All at once, Keith stepped into his arms, slid his hands around Shiro’s waist and pulled him close. Shiro felt his heart race; he had to remember to breathe as he settled his arms around Keith’s back. Keith let his head dip against Shiro’s neck and collarbone and exhaled, squeezing Shiro gently.

“I miss you a lot these days,” Keith murmured softly below his ear.

Shiro felt tenderness wash over him, tinged with longing. He wanted this so much. Too much. Emotion prickled behind his eyes as he held him to his chest.

“I’m right here, Keith.”

Keith squeezed him a bit more, then softened his grip, stroking Shiro’s back idly with his fingertips. “I know that, but... it feels like we never have enough time.”

It felt true. Still he asked the question that burned in his heart.

“Enough time for what?”

“To be together,” Keith blurted. “Enough time for me to let you know how I feel.”

Keith pulled back just far enough for Shiro to meet his eyes, reflecting starlight.

“I love you. I- I have for a long time.”

Shiro gazed at him softly, struck dumb at hearing the words.

“Don’t argue with me, okay? I know you love me, too. You can’t hide from me, Shiro. Can’t we just… have this? Does it all have to be pain and struggle?”

Shiro clutched at Keith so hard; he didn’t mean to, but he couldn’t help it. He pressed their foreheads together for a long moment.

He knew he would say yes. He always knew, somehow, that when this day came he would say yes. He licked his lips to speak.

“Takashi,” Keith said the name so softly, carefully. He’d never said it before. “I’ve lost you three times. Almost lost you countless more. Isn’t that enough? This time, stay with me. We’ll find a way, I know we can.”

“Keith—"

Their lips met, and once they found purchase they didn’t let go. Shiro lost all sense of time, awash in so much feeling, held back so long. He just needed to kiss him. Just this. Just to take the edge off so he could speak. Just to feel those perfect lips again and again, to know deep down that this was real.

Minutes passed before Shiro caught his breath enough to reply.

He touched Keith’s face with his human hand. “It’s true," his voice strained, sounding just as wrecked as he felt. "Of course I love you. So much. I'm- sorry I didn’t tell you. I was afraid of affecting the team but- I was wrong. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together. We,” he kissed the corner of Keith’s mouth softly, “we deserve to have this.”

He felt Keith shudder as he nuzzled into his chest, something like a sob caught in Keith’s throat as he tried to inhale. They steadied one another in their embrace.

Without a word, Keith led Shiro back to his cabin. He slipped out of his black tee in the low light and unbuttoned Shiro’s uniform reverently, looking him in the eyes the whole time through his disheveled hair. He looked absolutely beautiful.

Keith tugged at Shiro’s pants, helping him step out of them as he went to his knees. Shiro’s head was swimming, taking in Keith’s dark eyes looking up at him as he palmed Shiro’s cock through his boxer briefs, his other hand cupping the curve of Shiro’s ass. Shiro moaned at the touch, feeling Keith’s hands stroking him through the fabric, in front and behind. Keith bit his lip absentmindedly as he gripped the waistband with both hands and pulled his underwear down and away, Shiro’s cock springing free.

Meeting his eyes again, Keith held his cock at the base and dragged his tongue up Shiro’s length, lapping up the salty slickness as his tongue grazed the sensitive slit. Shiro rocked on his feet, already swooning. He sucked at the tip, swirling his tongue, making Shiro moan. Keith made a small sound of satisfaction just before he pulled Shiro’s cock deeper into his mouth.

Keith was totally focused, the movement of his tongue precise, his pace deliberate. It was one of Keith’s many sides, and Shiro loved them all. Confident and capable. Passionate, hungry. Rash, defiant, stubborn. Tentative and tender. Shiro knew them all by now, and cherished the thought of taking Keith in his arms again and again, making love to his every mood.

Keith’s hands slid to grip Shiro’s firm ass as he sucked, moving his head in long, smooth strokes. Shiro moaned, lost in the feeling. Keith responded by digging his fingertips into the muscle there, pulling so that he would really thrust into his throat. Shiro called out helplessly.

“Ah! Hhh- ah!”

He was barreling toward that edge. He swallowed thickly. “Keith, wait, I- I’m not ready,” he panted, touching Keith’s cheek as he slowed to look up at him. “That’s so good, baby.”

The look in Keith’s eyes stopped his breath. _Baby._ He’d never called him that before, not out loud.

He tangled his fingers in Keith’s hair. “I- I need to kiss you,” his voice rasped as he bent to scoop Keith up, pulling him to his chest as their lips met. Keith’s lips were wet, his tongue tasted like sex. Shiro couldn’t help the growl that rumbled from his chest, kissing him deeply, hungry for more.

Keith was pulling him to the bed. Shiro lifted him up and laid him out on his back, hovering over Keith’s chest as he kissed down his neck. Keith moaned softly, relaxing into his touch. It was everything Shiro had ever wanted, just this. Shiro could spend hours kissing his worries away, feeling his body respond to his hands, hearing the strain of pleasure in his voice. He unbuttoned Keith’s pants and peeled them away along with his briefs and then climbed up to straddle Keith’s hips, the length of their cocks softly grazing as Shiro settled over him. Gazing down at Keith's naked body pressed into the tangled sheets, Shiro bit his lip. He was running both of his hands down Keith’s sides to his narrow hips, admiring him, soaking in the sensation—soft against his human skin, smooth against the metal of his mech hand.

Keith looked up at him, his lips quirking in a shy kind of smile. “What is it?” he teased at Shiro’s inner thigh with his fingers.

Shiro smiled back. “Mm, caught me staring,” he said quietly, running both hands appreciatively from Keith’s stomach to his chest and over his shoulders. “I’ve imagined seeing you like this. Touching you like this.” Shiro lowered his chest to meet Keith’s, grinding their hips so slowly as their lips met. “Never came close,” he sighed at Keith’s ear. Keith sighed, too, nuzzling into him.

“God, I want you,” Shiro pulled back to meet his eyes. “But don’t let me rush you.”

“Rush me? Shiro,” his tone was mildly scolding. “I’ve waited for you. So long. I’m not waiting anymore.” Keith touched his face. “I’m yours, Takashi.”

Shiro gripped him hard then, leaning into his mouth, overwhelming him, tugging at Keith’s lip with his teeth. He rocked his hips hungrily, sliding his cock alongside Keith’s with more pressure this time, pressed tightly between their stomachs. Keith’s fingers pulled at his shoulders and his cropped hair as Shiro rode him like that. Before long, Keith was moaning from the friction, making a stream of soft, intoxicating sounds.

“Do you have any lube here?” Shiro whispered the question. Keith seemed to wince, bringing Shiro to stop and look at his face. Strange. Was he really blushing, just from that? Not being prepared with lube was not a big deal, Shiro thought. Very easily remedied.

“That’s, uh, not necessary?” Keith choked out.

That brought Shiro up short. “Uh, wait. Why?”

“I, um, lubricate just fine... when I’m aroused.” Keith was definitely blushing. Talking about his body really seemed to bother him and Shiro didn’t want to make this hard on him, but he figured whatever they were talking about was pretty important. Shiro kissed his face stroking his shoulders as he pulled him close.

“You know whatever it is, Keith, you can tell me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Keith thought for a second. Instead of answering, he reached for Shiro’s hand and started sliding it down his body, past his waist. Shiro kept his eyes on Keith’s face as he led the way, shifting his weight down from Keith’s hips and dropping a knee between his thighs as he spread his legs for him. Keith settled Shiro’s grip at the base of his cock where there was a small mat of hair, humming at the sensation of Shiro’s massive hand holding him. Then he encouraged him further down. Shiro’s fingers grazed the slit there, slick hairless skin parting like lips. _Oh_.

Shiro’s amazement showed on his face. He stroked his slickness again, watching Keith respond, his eyes simmering and hungry. This was something totally new. Shiro wanted to know what he felt like inside.

As if hearing the thought, Keith clasped his wrist, parting his legs further and guiding him in. Shiro purred audibly as the wet heat of his body swallowed his two fingers.

“Fuck, babe. Holy fuck, so incredible.” 

Keith blushed, this time with pleasure. He looked so vulnerable a moment before, and Shiro melted at the sight of him accepting his touch. Shiro stroked inside, watching what he responded to. He felt Keith’s hips buck softly as he worked his fingers in small circles over a certain spot. He did it some more, making Keith writhe.

“See,” Keith said quietly. “I- I told you. I’m ready for you.”

 _Perfect_ , Shiro thought. Discovering Keith’s body had him throbbing hard with desire. Shiro gently pulled back his hand. Curious, he brought his fingers to his lips and tasted them. It was viscous and sweet, with a note that smelled like Keith’s scent when they trained hard together. He would probably never admit how he loved that smell.

Shiro hummed appreciatively, lapping up more of it. “God, you taste so good, Keith. Mm.”

Keith blushed again, pleased and comforted. It felt good to show him how he loved every part of him.

Shiro bent down and kissed him, sharing the taste. He settled himself between Keith’s legs on his knees and stroked himself a few times with his still slick hand. He studied Keith closely as the tip of his cock nudged at his lips, already slipping inside. He’d always been so careful with any lover he’d ever had; his considerable size was a blessing, but it had always been a challenge, too, at least at first. That was true even though he’d never been anyone’s first.

Was he Keith’s first? He thought it was possible, but he honestly wasn’t sure. He hadn’t made it his business before, though he had wondered. He’d seen chemistry between him and Matt, once upon a time.

He watched Keith’s eyes flutter blissfully as he pressed slowly inside, stretching him open. He felt deliciously tight, but also so soft and smooth and _hot_.

“Mngh!” Keith moaned loudly as Shiro sank into him. “Yes! Oh yes,” he panted.

Keith’s eyes rolled back, gasping, trembling all over as he pulled back and slid into him again. His response was intense, but it definitely didn’t seem like pain. “Baby, is this okay?”

“More- more, please. Ah!”

That was encouragement enough. Shiro rocked his hips, hungry for more of that tight, wet heat. He held his body close, kissing his face as he moved, listening to all the heady sounds Keith made. He was clawing at his back, panting, tilting his hips to deepen Shiro’s thrusts.

“Take me, Shiro,” Keith gasped out. “Please, don’t hold back.”

“Keith. Oh. Fuck. Yes,” he bottomed out inside him with every thrust. It was dizzying already and yet he wanted more somehow—they both did. He could feel Keith begging him with his hips.

Shiro leaned back onto his knees, provoking a pout from Keith which quickly faded into anticipation as Shiro lifted Keith’s calves up to his shoulders. With hardly a pause he was thrusting again, this new angle deliciously deep.

“Is that better?” Shiro thrust into him harder as he tried to respond.

“Y- AH! Yes, yes, it’s so good- Ah—”

Shiro’s hands came to the mattress on either side of Keith’s shoulders, folding Keith’s thighs tightly against his slender frame. Keith’s moans were ragged as the pace continued.

“You’re so flexible,” Shiro panted, a smile in his voice. Keith was too lost to respond, his eyes unfocused.

Shiro held the pace, burying himself in Keith’s body again and again, the feeling of that wet heat consuming his every thought. He kissed Keith messily between harsh moans, both of them sounding wrecked and desperate for release.

Keith gripped his shoulders, his body seeming to clench down rhythmically now. “Please don’t stop! Takashi—”

“That’s it, baby. I’ve got you.” Shiro murmured at his ear as he pumped into him, starting to shudder himself. God, he was close. He felt Keith’s wave break first, a stream of cum hitting his belly as Keith spent himself between them.

“Ah- ah! AH!” Keith panted hard. “AH—”

Shiro couldn’t last. He groaned as he tipped over that shimmering edge, spilling deep inside Keith’s body as his hips stuttered. Keith was still convulsing, pulling Shiro through the aftershocks of pleasure. He found Keith’s eyes, smiling helplessly, and kissed him with so much feeling it made him shiver.

 _I’ve got you_ , he thought. _And now I’m never letting you go_.

Shiro slipped out and lowered Keith’s legs to the sheets, collapsing on the pillows beside him. It’d been a long time, and even if it hadn’t, he could hardly remember fucking that hard ever before. He’d had gentle lovers, which Keith was not. Much more of this and he’d be in excellent hip-thrusting shape in no time.

Delighted, he languished in the thought that they would share this again and again, probably about as often as they could get each other alone. Lying beside him, he reached out and touched Keith’s cheek, turning his face until their eyes locked.

“You are incredible, Keith.”

“We should have done this years ago.”

 _“Years_ ago, eh?” Shiro grinned. “Hmm.”

Keith looked at him seriously. “I know you didn’t see me that way, back then. I get it. It’d be harder for you. But… I’m not ashamed.” The conviction in Keith’s eyes pierced Shiro’s heart. “I’ve wanted you for a long, long time. I guess I just needed to know, first, that you were ready. That you wouldn’t say no.”

Shiro blinked. “I don’t know how I would have said no to you. Once upon a time I'd have had to, I know that, but… I don’t know. I always wanted to give you everything. Long before I understood why.”

Shiro sat up on his elbow, checking the time. Three hours to launch.

“Do you want to shower before we try and sleep?”

“Yeah,” Keith stretched. “I’m… kind of a mess.”

“A beautiful, glorious mess,” Shiro smiled, rolling onto him, pinning him with kisses. He felt younger, somehow, and full of hope. Keith was good for him. He pushed himself up, offering Keith his hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

They tripped off to the bathroom together, touching and giggling, feeling light and happy. The plight of the universe could wait. It would still be there when they woke up, and if it wasn’t, why shouldn’t they spend their last night in each others’ arms?

They were doing their very best. Either it would be enough, or it wouldn’t.

Skin cooling after the shower, they fell into each other’s arms. Keith curled his back into Shiro’s chest, and both men slept like there was no war. Like there was nothing but this.

 

+

 

The klaxon sounded in the early morning, a few minutes before Keith’s alarm, and they both sprang into action, Keith dressing quickly in his paladin gear. Shiro’s fleet uniform was with him, thrown over the small table by Keith’s bed, but he realized with a start that what he needed was his paladin armor.

He cursed under his breath.

Keith was flipping through his messages. “Update, we’re ahead of schedule. Launching in 10 minutes. I need calories,” pulling something in a wrapper from his drawer. “You?”

“Yeah, something.” Keith tossed him a meal supp bar. “And I’ll meet you down there,” Shiro started to say.

Suddenly Keith was right there, arm around his back, and Shiro felt the wolf’s fur brush the back of his thighs just as their surroundings shimmered, re-materializing in Shiro’s cabin.

“Wow, thanks,” Shiro murmured, already dropping his uniform on the bed and slipping into the tactical suit and armor.

They exchanged an anxious look as they hurried from the room. They weren’t worried about being seen together; that would work itself out, if anyone even noticed. They were focused on the mission, the new danger awaiting them.

Alone in the lift, Keith squeezed Shiro’s shoulder. “Whatever we find down there, you won’t have to face it alone. We have the team, and we have each other. Okay?”

Shiro felt his expression soften, a slight smile on his lips. The determined set of Keith’s jaw was as familiar to Shiro as air to his lungs, and just as necessary.

“Okay.”

 

+

 

Kynar was not a particularly hospitable planet, judging from the volcanic activity and ash in the atmosphere. The air was breathable without helmets but not for long.

The Atlas crew scanned the surface for the rare element they sought, finding limited deposits on one of the smaller continents in a mountainous region filled with caves. That was their target. There were remains of long-abandoned mining operations throughout the area, all small-scale. Nothing like there would be had the Galra Empire taken notice of the planet before now.

Not knowing when or whether to expect Honerva’s forces to make an appearance, the team had decided that the Atlas needed to stay hidden out of range. The ship took cover behind the rings of a nearby gas giant. Pidge and the green lion would be lookout, making good use of Green’s cloak, while Allura in Blue would take Shiro to find the mineral deposits. Keith, Hunk and Lance would also go to ground with Shiro to provide cover. They would stay in their cockpits, hiding their lions in larger caves. Everyone would be ready to fly into action and form Voltron if it came to that.

It was as good a plan as they were going to get. The rest was a leap of faith.

Reaching the hangers, Shiro caught Keith’s hand before he ran to Black, pulling him back into an embrace. Too short, over too soon, but it was all they could afford.

Shiro squeezed him. Keith squeezed back, then let him go and took off running.

Allura gave Shiro a look as he entered the cockpit and took the jump seat, and it wasn’t the reproach he’d been expecting. She smiled at him kindly, her eyes knowing, before turning to her controls. Shiro released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

Once launched, Shiro hovered nearby as she piloted Blue to the coordinates. He felt his body tense as he mentally reviewed his mission. _Find the mineral, hold it in your hand. Close your eyes. Follow the thread of it to the astral plane. Find the artifact. Bring it back._

If only it were that simple.

“None of us know the astral plane like you do, Shiro,” Allura spoke over her shoulder, breaking the nervous silence. “But you won’t be alone.”

“Thank you,” he answered. “I just hope I can really do what you are all hoping I can.”

“We’ve all done things we’ve never imagined possible. And don’t worry about the team. We are ready, and we’re all behind you, whatever it takes.”

“Thanks, Allura.”

After landing, Shiro and Allura activated their helmets and stepped from the blue lion into the spacious cavern. The air was deathly cold and clear, the ground a field of loose, razor-sharp rocks from black to pale gray. Natural patterns in the rock face surrounding them stood out in eerie relief, dizzying ribbons of black and pale gray highlighted with rust red and a deep blue like lapis on Earth. It was extraordinary, and unnerving somehow. Shiro made an effort to shut his gaping mouth and swallow. This place felt wrong, but he couldn’t place why.

Behind them, Yellow and Red had taken up position at the mouth of the cave, with Black set a bit further back between them, the largest lion’s bulk easily sheltering Blue and the two lone figures on the ground. 

They quickly made for the back wall, following the readout on their displays toward an area giving off the strongest signal. As they approached the towering wall, Shiro saw that the deep blue ribbons gave off an aquamarine gleam at just the right angle. Their screens led them straight for the smaller caves where the blue seemed most concentrated.

The light was already dim where they stood, but it was utterly dark inside. Shiro reached for his suit’s headlight. The beam seemed to die at the entrance, the bulb still glowing but the light not penetrating the space at all. Allura also tried, the results the same.

“No lights, I guess?” Shiro asked of no one in particular. He realized that even the light of his prosthetic arm’s array seemed to fall away into nothingness, casting no light, no shadows.

 _“What’s going on?”_ Keith asked over the comm channel.

Shiro reported back. “Our lights don’t work inside the cave we have to enter. Well, they _work_ , but it’s like the space is just… swallowing all the light.”

 _“Oh man,”_ Hunk’s voice quaked. _“Uh, that’s not a good sign. Find a different cave? Maybe?”_

Shiro looked at Allura, then squared his shoulders. “I’m going in. Allura, can you stay right on the edge here?” He took a couple of steps. “Are the comms working?”

Nothing. He could see Allura’s shape, the suggestion of her lips moving but he couldn’t hear her. He stepped back outside.

 _“Still there, Shiro?”_ Keith sounded calm. It was his leadership voice, and it was becoming on him. Shiro knew there were other feelings there, but his steadiness soothed him.

“Yeah, I… it’s like total sensory deprivation in there. Not just comms: I couldn’t hear Allura from a meter away. I need to go back in, but I might need you all to have a plan to get me back out.”

 _“Hang on, I’ve got an idea,”_ Keith replied quickly, panting like he was running. It turns out he was, seeing his armored shape leap from Black’s mouth and bound over to their position. He was carrying something.

“Rope! Brilliant, Keith!” Shiro chuckled. Even Allura looked unexpectedly pleased.

 _“Hunk and Lance,”_ Keith’s voice was panting as he hurried to reach them, _“I need you to stay focused on covering us and stay in contact with Pidge. Allura will stay in contact with you. I’ll need to be mobile, as I might need to go in after Shiro.”_

 _“We got you, Keith!”_ Lance shouted.

The instant Keith reached their sides, he was already tying a lead harness for Allura, fitting it to her waist and handing her the slack. He explained keeping the tension so they knew they were connected, letting out and taking up slack as Shiro moved in the dark.

Then Keith tied the other end around Shiro. A single short tug about once a minute would be their all clear, a kind of check-in. Rapid tugging would mean come quickly. The same was true on the outside; if they were taking fire and had no choice but to abort, Allura would use the same signal to summon Shiro back in a hurry.

 _“And what are you going to do?”_ she asked Keith.

 _“I’m with you, Allura, unless Shiro needs my help.”_ Shiro thought darkly of how many times Keith had saved him. He knew he was up for the challenge, he always was, but it didn’t seem fair.

 _“Hey,”_ Keith caught Shiro’s expression and cut off his brooding, grabbing his shoulder. _“Let’s do this.”_

Keith was exactly the leader Shiro always knew he could be. Pride washed over him.

“Yes, Sir,” Shiro replied with a smirk. They all chuckled, lessening the tension.

 _“Alright, everybody get ready,”_ Keith addressed the whole team. _“Shiro’s going in.”_

Crossing that threshold again, Shiro held the rope in his left hand, very like a lifeline. He felt the tension in his palm and from there the light tug around his waist, connecting him to the world he knew, to his teammates whom he trusted and loved.

He tugged the rope, their signal, and felt a single tug back.

Only five or so meters inside, his mech hand came to a wall. He walked a bit further along the wall, maybe eight meters in all. He couldn’t use his screen to find the signal because he couldn’t see it. Hell, he couldn’t see anything at all! But just then he kicked something, and some instinct told him to pick it up. He gave another soft tug as he reached for it, feeling the response through the rope but only barely, like a voice from very far away.

It was a rock, a long crystalline shape not unlike those littering the ground outside and, from the feel of the ground beneath his boots, littered inside as well. But something told him that he was onto something with this one. It made his hair stand on end.  _Follow the thread_.

He tugged the rope again, a bit harder this time, and felt a whisper of a response.

He took off his gauntlet, bare hand sliding over the material. It was an irregular shape, the surface textured in a raised pattern, but the sensation against his fingers was rounded as though his sense of touch was also stunted somehow. He got a peculiar feeling from it, beyond touch—he felt it with his being somehow, that what he touched had essence beyond the physical, as though it had a soul.

His eyes still open in the blackness, his consciousness reached for the astral plane. He found it easily; he knew he could. That wasn’t the hard part. Knowing what to do once he got there, now that was harder.

His vision opened to the star field, feeling the familiar clarity of seeing without eyes, being without form. Sometimes the most unsettling part of having come back from the dead was how the corporeal world felt less crisp, less clear, less real than this place.

He wasn’t sure if he could feel his body anymore, but he knew he was still clutching the stone in his human hand. He let his mind search out, feeling with his consciousness for the energy pattern. It was a shot in the dark in every way, but that was how things worked here. Feeling the connections between unique energies, something started to take shape. But where he expected an object, an amulet, he saw in the distance something like a human form. An Altean. The steward.

Shiro felt his consciousness pull away in shock. He was not expecting to find _someone_. A mind, caught here since… when? Allura was asleep for ten thousand years, and even in her day this Altean was already a remote legend!

It was Shiro’s worst fear, one that he’d hardly admitted even to himself. What if Keith had never found him, if Allura had never brought him back? Would he have remained lost in this place for tens of thousands of years?

The steward sensed him and pulled, and Shiro found himself face to face with this being. The Altean’s projected form appeared translucent, a crystalline blue like the artifact itself, though Shiro could make out some details of the corporeal form still remembered after all this time. The glowing long hair, the telltale marks under the eyes in a distinctive, beautiful face, the robes probably marking their station as a powerful mage in that ancient time.

“Where have you been?” the steward demanded.

Shiro could see the outline of the artifact around the steward’s neck, the dagger-like pendant that glowed aquamarine and radiated out, illuminating the Altean’s whole being.

“I am Captain Shirogane of the Atlas of Earth. I am with the Voltron Coalition—"

The steward’s eyes narrowed with impatience. _Right_. What would be know of Voltron? What of the destruction of Altea, and this ten thousand-year war? Shiro couldn’t possibly explain all that he had missed. He tried again.

“The universe faces a grave danger from a powerful Altean who will stop at nothing in her quest to rewrite her past. I came here seeking the amulet—"

“You did not,” the steward said flatly.

Shiro’s brows arched. “But I did. That’s why I’m here.”

“If you were here to possess the _kire_ , this I would know. You are here to protect those you love. There is a difference.”

Shiro nodded. “I see. Yes. I- I don’t want the amulet. I want to prevent its capture. In truth, I will destroy it if I can.”

“Now you are speaking the truth, Shirogane.” 

“Please, you can call me Shiro.”

“Shiro, of course. I am Draso.”

Shiro nodded respectfully. “Honerva is coming for the _kire_ , as you call it. This very moment. How do we destroy it?”

“That is not so simple.”

Shiro’s face fell.

“Ask yourself, Shiro: why would I have brought myself here, if I knew it could be destroyed?”

Shiro frowned. “Of course. I’m sorry, that is… not what I wanted to hear.”

“Nor I.”

“Then what can we do? Can you protect it from her when she comes?”

“No. Not once the dark one finds her way here. I thought I had covered my tracks, but I have felt powerful minds seeking. Growing ever closer. You… you took a more direct path, and others will follow. The time of hiding is over.”

Shiro reached out his hand. “Come back with me, then.”

The steward laughed. “No, no, I am dead! Don’t you see? I exist here now. Not just anyone returns from the spirit realm," the steward raised an eyebrow at him, "not like you have."

Shiro felt a chill. “I- I did. I had the help of a talented Altean.”

“You had more help than that,” the steward looked at him reproachfully, “or do you not understand this?”

Shiro felt something shift deep inside him, unfolding with a truth he already knew but hadn’t acknowledged. The steward’s eyes were deep pools, mirroring Shiro’s feelings.

“The river will always seek the sea. It cannot rest until they meet. And they will, one way or another. They will find one another. You- you hadn’t had enough time, had you? You found your way back from death.”

“Yes. I didn’t know how, but I had to try.”

"It flows both ways, Shiro," the steward mused. “Devotion is a blessing and a curse. When you lose your way, remember what you came back for. The beginning is the end, just as the end is the beginning. Everything has its time. That is the _kire_ ’s lesson.”

Shiro blinked at him, uncomprehending. He raised his hands, palm up. “I- I don’t know what to do. But I must hurry. Everything is at stake.”

“You must take the _kire_ with you. I am sorry. The burden is unfathomable, I should know, but it is already done. This is your path.”

“What- what will happen to me?”

As the steward opened his mouth to speak, Shiro felt a yank around his waist, nearly doubling him over, stumbling. No, not here, his _body_. The rope that anchored him to the waking world. He felt it again, stumbling backward from the force of the pull. They were in trouble.

Shiro looked at the steward pleadingly. “I’m sorry, I must take it now.” He extended his left hand.

The steward held the stone upright between the palms of his hands, and _pushed_. A fountain of energy struck Shiro square in the chest like a firehose. He shouted, more out of fear than pain, his flesh hand moving to clutch at his chest where he was struck. A deathly chill ran through his core and out to his limbs. When he looked again out at the star field, the steward was gone. Now his own form took on that crystalline glow. 

There was no time to process any of this. He had to go.

Shiro pulled back from the star field, feeling his body vaguely in the total dark. He couldn’t tell if it was just the usual haze of waking or the strange effects of the cave, but he fought to feel real again. Grounded.

Was the rope still there? Uncertain… yes, there it was, the tension still taught. But he was being held across his back, he was walking with support, he was clutching the stone to his chest, he was stumbling and running towards the dim gray of waning daylight ahead, squinting as though struck by the brightest light of day. He could see Allura pulling them back from oblivion. He could feel Keith moving him, heard him shouting as the comms came to life.

_“Let’s go! Let’s go!”_

The three began running for their lions, ducking and shielding themselves from drone fire. Shiro looked down and there it was—the _kire_ , as the steward had called it. Only, it wasn’t the shape Shiro had seen around the steward’s neck on the astral plane, it wasn’t the pendant from the illustration, not really. It was the rough crystal Shiro had taken in his hand in the dark of the cave, somehow set in a brilliant metal of some kind, hanging from a chain of the same.

They shielded themselves from drone blasts, taking most of them out. Centuries followed. Luckily, Shiro was back on his feet, and all three of them tore through their opponents without difficulty.

Behind those forces, a druid stood at the entrance to the cave, directly in front of the black lion.

Keith shouted over the comms. _“Hunk, Lance, Pidge, we need cover! The druid!”_

 _“Trying! There are so many fighters, we’re getting hammered,”_ Hunk hollered.

 _“Incoming!”_ Lance shouted, just as Red flew past the cave entrance, blasting a hole in the rock right where the druid was standing. _“Did I get him?”_ His voice hopeful.

 _“No, he’s still here! Come about again!”_ Keith growled as the druid appeared between them and the blue lion.

Just then, the green lion shot through the small space like a roaring bullet, launching a volley of Olkari vine bombs in the druid’s vicinity. He dodged one but managed to reappear right on top of another, which momentarily enveloped him.

 _“Woo-hoo!”_ Pidge hollered triumphantly. It may have been premature, but the paladins had learned to celebrate all the hits they could get in along the way. It had served them well.

The druid reappeared, this time dangerously close to their position, sending the three of them diving in opposite directions as he struck out with a dark current of destructive energy. He tried a second time to strike Keith with an energy bolt but he was quick enough to evade. Not quick enough to land a strike, though. The druid turned his attention to Shiro.

Just then, Black came to life with a golden gleam in her eye. She turned her head to join the fight, still grounded but stepping past Blue and moving in their direction, her laser canon cutting a path to where the druid stood, forcing him to retreat.

 _“Wow, Keith!”_ Allura marveled at Keith controlling his lion and fighting at the same time.

 _“Close formation!”_ Keith ordered. _“Don’t let him separate us!”_

The druid took form only an arm’s length in front of Shiro. He defended with deft reflexes, but still the druid’s hand brushed the surface of amulet that hung from Shiro’s neck.

At the contact, a tremor ran through Shiro—or, not exactly. All of reality seemed to tremble. It was terrible.

Shiro struck out with his mech hand, the energy blast square to the druid’s core. Shiro was amped, lending it his full force. When the druid vanished to evade, Keith was in the way, directly in the line of fire. Shiro couldn’t pull back in time. Keith took the blast hard in his chest, crying out in pain as he stumbled backward, doubled over.

“Keith!” Shiro shouted, horrified. That never happened when they fought together. They were both slipping up. 

The druid materialized just behind Keith then, taking advantage, a hand hovering above each shoulder. Keith tried to drop to evade but before he could get far he was enveloped in dark bolts of energy, consuming him.

_No._

_NO._

_“NO!”_   Shiro screamed as his chest spasmed, the space around them trembling. Shiro felt flashes of moments across time, crowding his mind all at once. The man he loved, the kid he’d mentored, all of his hopes and dreams for him over the years. Memories tinted with pride, with hope, with longing, with fear and regret.

He’d let Keith down, and now he was going to lose him forever.

Unbearable. Impossible.

_No._

Aquamarine light flooded Shiro’s vision as a force burst from the artifact hanging against his chest. The force struck where Keith stood, what was left of him, and rippled outward from there. Keith’s form, the druid, Allura, the very walls of that enormous cave—everything seemed to ripple backwards from the impact, reality coming apart, sheering into unrecognizable fragments.

 

+

 

Shiro woke with a start, grasping at his bare chest.

He was in bed on the Atlas, ripping at the sheets in his panic. His cabin’s atmospheric lights were simulating morning. He looked at the clock, reading a quarter til 9 in the morning.

For a fleeting moment he took sanctuary in the notion that it had all been a dream. He’d never gone on that terrible mission. He hadn’t watched Keith die. He hadn’t ripped their reality apart with the power of a strange artifact that left him feeling cold as death inside.

Real as it had felt, he wanted nothing more than to forget.

But the illusion couldn’t last. His fingertips found purchase against the edge of something hard and cold embedded in his chest where his breastbone should be. He was afraid to look.

His fingers traced the long edge, blade-like, coming to a slightly rounded tip where his last ribs met.

 

+++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_kire_** \ kī(ə)r \ noun. — a legendary Altean artifact traditionally worn as an amulet, allowing the bearer to manipulate the timeline in response to their heart's longing; thought to be roughly a Voltron-universe equivalent of the Marvel universe's Time Stone, except it turns out to have a bit more of a will of its own; pronounced like 'fire' but with a 'k'.


	2. Pierce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same content warnings as the first note, but more specifically: Keith and Shiro are gonna _belatedly_ talk about safe sex, shooting blanks, and fear of pregnancy (not gonna be a thing in this fic, just a fear). Also, Keith growing up with intersex traits and feeling alone/'like a freak'. I hope this won't feel othering to any readers, but it felt in-character for Keith to struggle with worthiness in that way. 
> 
> These boys are kind of a communication disaster at times but they're muddling through. Show 'em some love.

+++

 

Shiro sat frozen in terror, unable to look at himself, finger tracing the edge of the stone in his chest.

He finally looked down.

There it was, unmistakably real. The blue crystaline stone of the mysterious _kire_ amulet, edged in an unknown metal, silver-like and gleaming, running the length of the stone where it should touch his bare skin. It had become a part of him somehow.

Fused to him.

The thing he never wanted to see again, the greatest tragedy of his life. He couldn’t escape it.

He had an incoming message from Keith. Shocked, elated, confused, he answered breathlessly. “Keith?” he panted.

 _“Hey Shiro,”_ his tone over the comm sounded concerned, and more than a little caught off guard. _“Are… are you alright?”_

“I’m a mess, Keith, where are you? I need to see you.”

_“Okay, okay, of course. I’ll be right there.”_

“Thank you. God, it’s so good to hear your voice.”

 _“You… too. Of course,”_ Keith sounded hesitant. _“On my way.”_

Shiro’s emotions were rioting, it was all too much. Keith survived the druid’s onslaught, somehow? How, Shiro didn’t know. He felt sure he’d been vaporized. They’d all witnessed the deadly power of the komar many times.

Shiro couldn’t remember anything after he’d triggered the amulet, had no idea what had happened then, how they’d gotten out of there. Whether the whole team had made it. Whether his mistakes had cost them any other lives. How the amulet had become a part of him.

He paced, pulling at his hair, relieved and frantic, desperate to hold Keith for himself and know for sure that this was real.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Wearing only his sleep pants, he burst from his room, searching the corridor in both directions. A couple of crewmen saw him as they passed, probably a shocking sight, but he couldn’t care less. They mostly kept their eyes to themselves, not wanting to interact with their captain in his current, harried state.

Keith came hurrying around the corner, his eyes going wide when he saw Shiro standing there half-naked and looking stricken. Keith’s eyes bore into his chest where the _kire_ was, faintly glowing.

Shiro couldn’t help himself; he was running. He slammed into Keith, clutching him desperately, kissing him right then and there. Keith seemed to go rigid for a moment, but hardly a tic later Keith was kissing him back, almost just as needily.

Hardly stopping to breathe, Shiro gulped for air, squeezing out what he needed to say between desperate kisses. “I’m so sorry—Keith—God, I thought I’d lost you—I couldn’t take it—”

Keith’s two hands came to Shiro’s shoulders then, pressing him back and meeting his eyes, overwhelmed.

“Shiro! Quiznak, what _ARE_ you talking about?” Keith demanded. “How—?” His fingers came to the edge of the artifact, eyes flicking between the blue stone and the gray of Shiro’s eyes.

Shiro’s face fell, coming up empty.

He had no idea what was going on. Apparently, neither did Keith.

“Come on, Shiro,” Keith said, looking around as though he just remembered they were making out in the hallway, members of the crew passing hurriedly with eyes downcast. “Let’s get to your room. You- you have some explaining to do.”

 

+

 

He followed Keith back into his captain’s quarters, lights set to daylight hours now. He felt sheepish, hoping Keith would help him understand what was going on.

Keith whirled on him then. “You’re kissing me all of a sudden? When you’d hardly raise a finger for me yesterday?” He was angry, but more than that he looked disappointed and hurt. It felt familiar somehow, though Shiro was sure this conversation had never happened before.

He took a step forward, reaching for Keith’s shoulder. “Hey, hey,” he made him look him in the eyes. Keith shrugged him off, still mad.

“No. Oh, no you don’t. I need you to listen to me. After everything we've been through together. Everything we’ve fought for. You- you acted like I meant nothing to you. You just stood there looking senseless while Zethrid had me in a headlock over a fucking volcano.”

It punched Shiro in the stomach, both the memory and the accusation in Keith’s words. He remembered it clear as day, Shiro standing there powerless while Acxa tried to talk Zethrid down. But- but that was nearly two months ago!

“I can't _believe_ I almost died furious with you,” Keith muttered to himself. “I think that alone almost killed me. I thought, after all these years, maybe it was time but...” He met Shiro’s eyes again. There was anger there, giving way to confusion and a new streak of frustration. “Shiro, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about!”

“Keith, I- I don’t know what’s going on right now,” he shuddered. “I’m sorry. I do remember it. I won’t try to make you believe how I felt, seeing you in danger like that and knowing there was nothing I could do until she made her next move. I had no idea if we would be able to save you. It’s the kind of thing that haunts me, Keith. Every day.”

Shiro was shaking, tears in his eyes. It was all too fresh. He _had_ lost him this time. He’d seen it with his own eyes.

“It’s just, right now I- I need your help, Keith. That day with Zethrid, that was almost two months ago, to me. I think I’ve moved backward in time.”

Keith’s eyes went wide.

“You don’t recognize this at all?” he pointed toward the _kire_ now embedded in his chest. He tried not to touch it, feeling more than a little afraid of its power.

Keith stayed stock still.

“We’ve never spoken of the artifact that Honerva was seeking to alter the timeline? We weren’t briefed by Kolivan about the Blade’s intercepted intelligence?”

Keith shook his head. “No, Shiro, I definitely wasn't there for that. Are- are you saying you’re from a different reality?”

“No, I… I don’t think so. Unless I’m also somewhere else on this ship, going about my business... I guess we should rule that out. But no, I think I moved backward in time in my- _our_ reality."

"Yeah, Shiro, that's what I meant—"

"Really, I’m not sure. It’s not like I’ve ever done it before. It all happened so fast...”

Keith stepped forward then, reaching out to touch the stone. Shiro flinched away, but when Keith touched it nothing happened. Reality didn’t tremble in that terrible way it had when the druid reached for it. It seemed almost dormant at the moment. Dormant did not mean safe.

“How did this happen to you?” Keith ran his finger along the edge where it was set into his flesh, finger trailing an impression in Shiro’s skin. “How did it become... part of you?”

“I don't know. I activated it somehow, when the druid had you. I promised Allura, the steward, _everyone_ that I had no intention of using it, and it was true! I didn’t even know how it worked! I just... couldn’t bear to watch you die. I just reacted, and everything came apart. I woke up here, like this.” 

“I… died,” Keith said, his eyes far away. It was more statement than question. Shiro stiffened, considering for the first time what that would be like to hear.

“God, I’m so selfish. I shouldn’t be telling you any of this. You don’t need to live with this.”

“No—stop it, Shiro. You know I don’t like secrets. I can handle the truth. It's all I've ever wanted from you.”

It stung, though it wasn't meant to. Shiro pouted, feeling thoroughly sorry for himself. Keith pressed his hand flat against Shiro’s bare chest, covering his heart.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I wasn’t in your shoes out there, I had no right. I guess I’ve just been struggling, Shiro. You’ve seemed so far away. Distant, and, well. It’s been breaking my heart. And then you kissed me just now, and I just couldn’t understand any of it. I'm still not sure I do. But all I’ve wanted is to be close to you. I can’t keep pretending like this. I- I tried, but I can’t watch you letting me go, day by day.”

Keith looked into his eyes, hope winning out over the hurt that was there.

Shiro smiled sadly. “Keith, I’m still really mixed up. I’m a mess, so please forgive my, um, outburst. But the only thing I’m sure about is what you mean to me. I love you. More than anything.” He tangled his fingers in Keith’s hair, pulling him gently into another kiss. 

Keith melted, kissing him back, hands pulling at Shiro’s waist. Shiro had to steady them both, then, as Keith swooned into him.

“And I will always do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe. Please don’t doubt that.” Shiro cleared his throat, glancing down at his chest. “Unfortunately for all of us, that power now apparently includes rewriting time. That is exactly what we feared Honerva would do. I have to figure out how to keep this from happening again.”

Keith gripped him tighter.

“We need to talk to the team,” Shiro said, leaning back to catch Keith’s eyes. Keith glanced away guiltily.

“Of course. Fate of the universe, got it. Just, promise me… later? I- I need to know that _this_ is real.” His hands flexed at Shiro’s back.

Shiro smiled at him, kissing his face.

“As soon as we can, I promise.”

 

+

 

Shiro made excuses to the bridge crew to evade his usual routine and then summoned the paladins and Coran together in their private-use lounge on the Atlas.

Normally they’d use a conference room, but that kind of meeting would bring attention. Shiro thought it best to keep this information under wraps from the Garrison, at least for now. This felt like something that only Team Voltron could understand, with all they’d been through together.

Even then, he felt at a loss as to what he should say. They sat there gathered on the lounge’s leisure furniture, all a bit too tense, looking at Shiro in his pajamas. He had at least put a shirt on—Keith had made sure of it.

“So… what’s up, Shiro?” Pidge piped up.

“Yeah, man,” Lance yawned. “What’d you rush us all down here for?" He squinted at him then. "You kinda look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Keith looked away like his life depended on it, eyes wide like he was to blame.

Shiro swallowed. “Something… happened, and I need your help figuring it out. Your ears only, alright? At least for now.”

“Okay,” Hunk’s eyebrows quirked up in concern, “you know we’re here for you. What happened?”

Shiro sighed deeply. “I think I time travelled here. I- I’ve lived this day before.”

Pidge shot to their feet. “What?” Hunk and Lance mouthed _Whoa_ in unison. Allura only narrowed her eyes.

“My last memory from before it happened was two months in the future. We were on a mission. It was going very badly, and- then I woke up here. With this,” he hesitantly lifted the hem of his tee shirt until the team could see the brilliant blue stone.

 _“WHAT THE HELL?”_ Lance toppled backward, bonking into Coran who looked so stunned he hardly noticed. Everyone started talking at once. Shiro couldn’t follow any of it, his head suddenly pounding as he balled his tee shirt between his hands.

“Guys, come on,” Keith cut them off like his voice was a blade. “Everybody’s shocked. Shiro is too. Let’s get the whole story.”

At least one of them had their wits about them, and it figured it would be Keith even with everything he was dealing with. Shiro tried to tell them every relevant fact, from when he’d first learned of the artifact, to what he heard and saw and felt in that strange cave on Kynar.

Allura was the first to speak. “You’re saying, Shiro, that you used the amulet to change the timeline?”

Shiro’s shoulders sagged in remorse. “I think so, Princess.”

“How- how could you?” She sputtered, becoming furious. “The immeasurable damage you may have caused—”

“Allura, please,” Shiro exhaled. “I am sorry. It was an accident. I didn’t even know how to use it, and I certainly didn’t try.”

She crossed her arms, quieted but unsatisfied.

As much as he didn’t want to face all that had happened, he needed them to understand. He had to finish the story.

“The steward knew Honerva was getting close and decided I had to take the _kire_ with me. It was as though they could... read my intention somehow, and declared me its best hope. At the same time they said it would be a terrible burden. I asked what would happen to me, but there wasn’t time to explain... I had to go.”

Shiro swallowed his dread and continued. “When I got back to my body, we were under fire, fighting drones and centuries and then one of her druids. I was wearing it here,” he indicated his chest, “on a chain. The druid tried to grab it and I blasted him, only- Keith was standing right behind him.”

He looked directly at Keith then.

“I struck you so hard,” Shiro’s voice shook. “I couldn’t believe it happened. I- I don’t think we’ve ever slipped up that badly. The druid took you at close range while you were down. I couldn’t get to you in time. I watched you die.”

The room fell silent, eyes flicking in Keith’s direction before looking away. But Keith held his eyes, softly, tenderly.

“I just thought… _No_. This can’t happen. I can’t allow this to happen.” Shiro swallowed. “I had no idea that was how it worked.”

“I see,” Allura hummed. “Can you use it to correct the timeline? Go back to your time?”

Shiro froze. _So simple._ And perhaps he could do just that, summon the will and speed ahead to that fateful day.

Perhaps that was the right answer, the right thing to do. But then Keith would be dead. He filled his lungs a few times but couldn’t get enough air.

And it didn’t end there. The druid would have them right where he wanted them. It would be a pitched battle, the outcome on the bleak side of uncertain. More than likely, they’d lose everything.

“Hey, are you okay, Shiro?” Hunk looked him over carefully. “You don’t look so hot.”

“Thank you, Hunk, I’m just… I’m unsure. I’m not sure I can control it. I’ve only done it once, the circumstances were- extreme.” He cleared his throat. “But even if I can, going back to that moment will only ensure that the druid captures the _kire_ , dooming us all. We were fighting for our lives, and losing.”

“Shiro,” Allura shook her head, “When we possess the power of time and we let ourselves pick the outcomes we prefer, we fall prey to the temptation of power. Don’t start down that path.”

Shiro looked at his feet, then up at the team, taking in each of their expressions in turn. Allura. Lance. Coran. Hunk. Pidge. Keith.

“But what if I already have?” he asked.

Allura looked sad, then looked away shaking her head. She walked away, leaving the room without another word. Shiro knew it was pointless to try and follow her, but it hurt.

Lance spoke up. “Shiro, just give her time. She’ll come around. She- she’s going through a lot.”

Hunk chimed in. “Yeah, Honerva is, like, using her people to attack innocent worlds.”

Lance looked directly at the glowing stone shining from the center of Shiro’s bare chest. “And I guess Allura probably knows better than any of us what that amulet thingy is capable of.”

Shiro couldn’t help but think that Allura was right. Once begun, where would this end. 

 

+

 

Shiro pulled his shirt on again, feeling faint. Keith approached up to him, resting a hand gently on his back. “You look pale. Maybe you should eat.”

“I’ve got that covered!” Hunk sing-songed in their direction, then hesitated. “I mean- not that I was listening in, not really. I didn’t mean to. But you look like a man who needs a bowl of noodles, Shiro,” he said almost apologetically. His apology sounded absurd couched in such generosity.

“Wow, Hunk! I- thank you,” he breathed.

“I made some for you, too, Keith.”

Keith accepted them gratefully. “You’re the best, Hunk.” He looked at Shiro who still looked weak. “Come on, let’s take these back to your room.”

Keith slid his arm around Shiro’s waist naturally, as though it belonged there. Shiro felt like it did. The wolf padded over to their feet and Keith stroked his fur.

“Okay. Thanks again, Hunk,” Shiro said, feeling a pang for leaving him alone after his gift. “Let’s catch up later, okay?”

“For sure, man. Rest up.” Hunk tossed him an encouraging smile.

With a pop of ozone, they arrived in Shiro’s cabin. Shiro slumped to the floor leaning against the bed, cupping his warm bowl in two hands. He sipped at the broth and groaned with pleasure and relief.

Keith took this in and breathed a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Hunk is my hero, too.”

Keith squatted down, swinging his legs out in front of him in a fluid motion until he was seated at Shiro’s side, a hair’s-breadth from touching. He picked at his noodles while Shiro devoured his.

Shiro felt his head clearing somewhat from the sustenance. That mostly meant pulling back from the edge of full-blown panic to a roiling mix of other emotions. He didn’t know how to begin to process all of it.

The power to affect time. Knowing what was going to happen—or at least what _could_ happen. Whether to try and change those events or not, and how.

Falling into Keith’s arms. Losing him, and then finding him again all in a matter of moments.

He still wanted to come unglued, but the more he watched Keith from the corner of his eye, the more he could see that Keith needed to fall apart first. His friend was holding it in for his sake but his walls were paper-thin and straining.

Shiro set his empty bowl aside and turned toward him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as his knees leaned lightly in Keith’s lap. Keith’s breath caught. He set his mostly full bowl down on the floor, hands shaking. Shiro pressed a kiss into the hair at his temple and Keith quaked, starting to cry. Shiro gathered him up even tighter and held him.

There was so much to say, but nothing to explain. Shiro felt it all in his body, the same relief and fear and hope. 

He brushed his hair back and kissed his temple again. “Do you want to tell me?”

Keith huffed darkly, not what you’d call a laugh.

“Which part. That I love you? That you’ve hurt me? That I hate to see you so afraid? It makes me... impulsive. I’d tear everything to hell to keep you safe, Shiro. Should I tell you how ashamed I feel that you broke reality because you couldn’t let me go?”

Shiro frowned. “Why do _you_ feel ashamed about that?”

“That I’m... relieved, that you did that for me. Because I would, too. Ashamed because… I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. But it’s what _I_ want.”

Shiro pulled back far enough to see Keith’s expression, anxious and soft. He brushed at the trail of spent tears on his cheek with his left thumb and kissed his lips tenderly. “I haven’t kissed you enough.”

Keith blinked. “What is enough?”

“I have no idea,” he rumbled, kissing him more deeply. “Let’s see.”

They kissed slowly, exploring each others’ mouths. Keith’s hand tangled in the fabric of his shirt, another cupping his neck and drawing him in.

After a minute, Shiro pulled back to see him. “I want to take a shower.”

“Oh- okay, go ahead?” Keith fidgeted a bit. “I won’t leave, if that’s okay.”

Shiro looked at him meaningfully. “I meant... will you join me?”

Surprise registered on his face, his mouth forming a small 'o' as he blushed. “Yeah. That sounds... good.”

Shiro found his feet and pulled Keith to his, leading him by the hand to the ensuite washroom. He started the water, then turned to Keith and pressed him gently back into the wall, kissing slowly and brushing his body over his.

When Shiro pulled back to meet his eyes, Keith looked stunned.

“Shiro? Were- are we lovers, in the future? I… I feel like I’m still catching up.”

Shiro touched his face gently. “It had only just begun. You’re not that far behind,” he chuckled, right before worry struck him. He was assuming a lot right now. He gave Keith another inch of space, looking at him a bit more anxiously than before. “Am I moving too fast? I don’t mean to push—”

“No,” Keith brought his fingers to Shiro’s lips, cutting him off. “Don’t do that. I want all of this. I want _us_. I just… wanted to know what I’d missed.”

Shiro kissed his fingertips. He ran his own fingers under the hem of Keith’s shirt, brushing his smooth skin. Keith hummed sweetly as Shiro pulled his shirt off over his head, his ruffled hair falling again to frame his face.

“I- I kind of can’t believe you finally made a move, after all this time.”

Shiro blushed, touching Keith’s chest gingerly as the air swirled with steam. “Yeah. About that. I wanted to, but you’re right—I was… frozen. I think I was afraid. It was too important to me, so much at stake with you. And what if you didn’t feel the same way and I really messed up our friendship—”

“I think I’ve made my feelings quite clear,” Keith challenged, both teasing and serious. “You just… seemed not to want to see it.”

Shiro thought about this quietly. There was truth in that, more than he was ready to face. There were consequences to his desire.

“I think the water is hot.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Shiro reached over to check the temperature with his human hand. Turning back to Keith, he found him stepping out of his pants. Shiro followed suit, trying not to think too much about the stone that glowed from the center of his chest.

He ran his hands down Keith’s sides, worshipping his body and not trying to hide it. It brought heat to Keith’s face. He kept trying to remember that although he’d only felt Keith’s body once before, to Keith this was all so vulnerable and new. Their first time together. He had to remember that. 

He gestured toward the shower, running his fingers through dark hair and down his back as Keith stepped into the water. Shiro was right there behind him, moving with him: touching his arms, kissing along his shoulder and up the back of his neck where he held Keith's long hair out of the way for better access. Keith trembled, leaning into him. 

Shiro’s hands found his waist, sliding up over his ribs, exploring slowly all over the planes of his chest as he mouthed at the shell of his ear. Keith moaned low and shuddered with pleasure, suddenly twisting in his arms. Shiro pressed him backwards into the shower wall just as Keith got his hands on him, already kissing from Shiro’s jaw down to his collarbone.

Keith’s hands felt miraculous on his waist, his chest. They were both breathless, and straining for friction where their hips met. Shiro still moved gently, as gently as he himself could bear. He thought he could feel Keith’s cock actually throbbing against his smooth stomach.

“You said it had just begun?” Keith rasped, stroking the tops of his shoulders. “Did we...”

“We did," Shiro's voice rumbled. "We had one perfect night.” 

Keith ran his hands up into Shiro’s wet hair, his indigo eyes deep and round. He slid his hands until they cupped his face, his right thumb brushing Shiro’s lip. “Show me.”

Shiro’s breath caught in his throat for an instant before he leaned into Keith, moaning into his lips as their bodies met in a deep grind.

Passion pulsed between them as they moved together slowly, ecstatically. The shower poured over Shiro’s shoulder, coursing between them and down his back. Shiro found himself memorizing the way Keith’s body felt, his hard muscle, his soft skin. The way Keith swayed with pleasure, peaceful in this moment. Tears stung Shiro's eyes and he kissed Keith more deeply, blasting away his fears of the battle that was to come. Right now they were at home in each other’s arms.

Keith’s thighs parted still further, opening to him as Shiro thrust against the length of Keith’s cock where their hips met. Shiro burned to press inside him. He wrapped his mech arm around the back of Keith’s thighs, lifting him up against the tile wall, angling his shoulders to block the water. Keith groaned needily as he wrapped his legs around Shiro’s hips, pulling him close.

“Yes,” Keith breathed.

Shiro slid the tip of his dick along Keith’s slick lips, wetting the length of his cock. It felt so good, brushing against him, wanting, anticipating. Keith whimpered at his teasing strokes, clutching at his shoulders.

“Ngh! I need you, Shiro.”

Shiro looked at him with feeling. “You can call me Takashi. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if you did.” He felt the heat on his face. 

Keith blushed deeply. “Takashi,” he whispered, his eyes sparkling.

He pressed inside, eyes never leaving Keith’s face. He wanted to see every expression, to watch Keith’s face register everything he felt. To know in his heart this was right where he wanted to be.

Keith’s eyes drifted closed and open, unfocused and jaw slack as Shiro began filling him with long, smooth thrusts. He held Keith steady while he moved in him, his mech arm forming something like a seat. Shiro wanted to feel every inch of him, slow and sure, expecting any moment Keith might start demanding more speed, more force.

But he didn’t. Keith’s lip quivered, his breathing slow and uneven. The moan that floated out of him was gentle and raw.

“Keith, is this okay?”

Keith blinked his eyes open, a tear falling from each. He nodded just as his voice broke in another soft moan.

“It’s perfect, Takashi. Just like that.”

Shiro felt his throat tighten with emotion. “I love you, baby,” he murmured, nuzzling Keith’s face as he thrust into his body, wet and warm. He kissed the corner of his mouth. “I swear I will never let you go.”

Keith shuddered, finding his mouth and kissing him desperately. He whimpered into Shiro’s mouth as he built up the pace. It was an effort now to keep himself back from the brink. He wanted to finish so badly, but he wanted to take Keith with him. What he really needed was a free hand to stroke Keith’s cock.

“Baby,” he breathed against Keith’s cheek, “I want you to touch yourself for me.”

Keith inhaled sharply, going still for a moment. “Really? Why?” His voice had an edge to it, now. He was close. He just needed a little more attention.

“Because it will feel so good. You’re so beautiful. I- I want to feel you come on my chest while I’m inside you,” Shiro panted as he continued to thrust. “So hot, Keith.”

He felt Keith soften as he spoke, sliding his right hand down from Shiro’s neck and gripping himself, starting to stroke. Keith groaned. It was working.

Shiro was throbbing now, his jaw pressed into Keith’s cheek. He needed release.

“Yes. Yes, baby, that’s it. God, you’re perfect. You’re gonna make me come,” he panted, thrusting harder than before. There was no stopping it now. He hoped it was enough. Shiro shook hard as his orgasm spilled into Keith’s body, thrusting right through it.

Keith made a strangled sound, gasping. “Fuck! Oh fuck,” he huffed as he spent himself across Shiro’s chest. Shiro smiled to himself as he felt it dripping from his pecs, holding Keith firmly through tremors of pleasure.

Keith leaned his cheek into Shiro’s and slid his fingers up Shiro’s chest through the mess he made there. He hummed, enjoying it, until his fingers brushed the hard surface of the _kire_ , slick with his come.

They’d both forgotten it was there. Keith went rigid.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Shiro tried to reassure him.

“I fucking came all over it.”

Shiro chuckled. He couldn’t help it. “Here,” he moved to lower Keith to his feet.

“I- I don’t think I can stand right now,” Keith choked out. That just made Shiro laugh more. Keith laughed too.

“Hang on to me,” Shiro cooed in his ear, lowering him all the way down to the floor of the shower. Keith slumped against the shower wall and sighed, still trying to repress his smile. Shiro glanced down at his chest. The artifact had definitely been in the line of fire.

“You made me do it.”

“No regrets,” Shiro laughed lightly like a bell, leaning back into the water to rinse himself off. He turned back to Keith with water streaming down his face and body. Keith looked flustered all over again, his eyes lapping at Shiro’s body. He felt… flattered.

He soaped a washcloth and leaned over Keith again, spreading the smooth lather over Keith's chest. “It’s dangerous, you know. Looking at me like that.”

“You- it- it’s dangerous, you _looking_ like that,” Keith stammered. “And besides, I’ve been looking at you like that for years. It hasn’t proved hazardous until now.”

Shiro nodded. “I deserve that.” He worked the soap along Keith’s ribs and into the muscles of his stomach, the tops of his thighs.

Keith frowned. “No, I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. I- I don’t know why I’m trying to fight you.”

“I don’t think that’s what it is. You said I’ve hurt you.” Shiro kept his eyes down on Keith’s body while he worked soap into his shoulders and down his arms.

“Yeah.”

Shiro’s heart thudded. “I’m sorry. I really am,” he glanced up at Keith’s eyes. He needed him to know he meant it. “I think I sensed that I had been frustrating you. I found myself letting you down, in so many small ways. But I… thought it meant something else. I thought you needed space.”

Keith blinked. “I just wanted you to talk to me. To ask me. Like you used to. I was okay just being friends, if that was what you needed, but I couldn’t stand that you were leaving me.”

“Never,” Shiro murmured, leaning in to kiss him. “I never would. I hope you know that now, at least,” he sighed.

Keith nodded, swallowing. Then he shivered.

“You’re getting cold. Let’s rinse you off.” Shiro offered Keith his hand, pulling him to his feet and into a warm embrace. He turned him into the water, caressing him until Keith was clean and warm and thoroughly touched. He shut off the water and handed him a towel.

They fell into companionable silence as they dried off and slipped into their underwear.

One minute Keith was combing his hair, and the next moment he froze as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“What is it?” Shiro couldn't help the fear in his voice. 

“Uh. I just realized, we didn’t use protection.”

“Oh,” Shiro felt his face flush. They really should have talked first. Shiro placed his hand on Keith’s back. “We can, if you want. That’s your choice. I- in this body, I’ve never been with anyone else. And the Garrison medical staff confirmed that I’m totally sterile. The clone body, that is.”

Keith sighed, clearly relieved. He leaned on the counter over the sink. “Okay good, that’s… good. I mean, _no!_ That’s not _good_ , shit, I’m such an asshole. Maybe you wanted kids? God, I’m selfish. I just can't—”

“—Keith. It’s okay,” Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith from behind, pulling him close. “Don’t worry, I know what you meant. And, I’m glad too. I wouldn’t want you to be afraid that- I mean, something like that, unplanned—”

"I can't get pregnant," Keith choked out. “I don’t think I could handle it."

“It’s your body, Keith. I support whatever you want,” Shiro met his eyes in the mirror. “I will track down some condoms. Shouldn’t be impossible.”

“No- no, you don’t need to,” Keith breathed, relaxing. “I just needed to know it was safe. I- I probably should have actually read that file my mom sent me about Galra reproduction. I kind of just didn’t want to think about it.”

Shiro kissed his temple, pulling him by the hand out of the washroom and toward the bed. “Let’s just sit for a minute, okay?” He looked at him curiously. “I feel like we still have a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah?”

“Like, for instance, we never talked about you being able to get pregnant.”

Keith settled against the headboard, pulling a pillow into his lap and squeezing it. He sighed. “I don’t know, it’s just what I… assumed. Because I have both.”

Shiro settled in next to him, stroking his thigh in what he hoped was a reassuring way. “I love your body, Keith. I love knowing you in new ways, too. But I don't really know how to navigate a lot of this, without your help. It, well, surprised me, the first time.”

Keith squirmed, and Shiro pulled him closer, kissing his face. "I can probably find the file my mom sent. I should read it. You could too, if you want. If there's... time."

"Only if you don't mind. I definitely want to."

Keith nodded, too seriously, settling against Shiro's shoulder with a sigh. 

“Growing up, I just thought it was normal. It’s not like they actually have Sex Ed in most of those miserable schools I ended up at, and I definitely didn’t have... practical experience. My body felt natural to me. But then, well. Junior High, and the Garrison. I’d hear guys talking about sex, guys who’d been messing around with other guys, talking about lube and anal and all that. And I realized I'd always pictured it differently, for me. My body was _not_ normal.”

“Okay but what about normal for Galra, and half-Galra guys like you? And frankly, so what if you just happen to be one of a kind,” Shiro smirked at him.

Keith made a face, torn between argument and acquiescence. “Sure, okay. _Now_ I know there are others like me. It’s a natural variance. But it sure freaked me out. And I didn’t know I was part alien back then, either. I didn’t know anyone else had a body like mine, on Earth or anywhere. I just... sort of accepted that I was some kind of freak of nature.”

Shiro frowned, turning to face him.

“I’m sorry, Keith. It’s hard growing up different. You never understand that you’re not actually alone. I’m sure it was worse for you. I just… I hope you don’t feel that way now. I want to know _all_ these things about you. I don’t want you to worry when we’re together.”

Keith’s eyebrows pulled up in the center, his eyes widening. He gulped softly. “You know me like no one else, you always have, and- that means a lot to me,” Keith slid his hand along the top of Shiro’s shoulder, coming to rest at the nape of his neck. Shiro let his gravity pull him gently into a kiss.

There was an incoming message on Keith’s wrist comm, so he checked it.

“Need to go?”

“No, it’s just Pidge checking in,” Keith sighed.

Shiro licked his lips. “I, uh, need to try and find Allura. I need to talk to her about what’s happening to me, and see if I can get her help.”

Keith nodded. “Right. Okay.”

It made Shiro’s heart ache, the hesitance in his voice. “I will never feel like we’ve had enough time.”

“Neither will I.” Keith glanced at his wrist comm again. “Not that I’m that eager or anything, but I half expected we’d have a mission briefing by now. What’s the plan?”

Shiro’s mouth felt dry. _Oriande_. That had been their next move, after the paladins returned from facing Zethrid, returning from Olkarion with news of the stolen cubes and Honerva’s teludav capabilities.

Any minute now, the Altean robeasts would start showing up on innocent worlds, ready to siphon the quintessence out of them for a komar of unimaginable size. Voltron and the Atlas would make the decision to try to strike Honerva in the heart. Shiro could still hear Allura’s words at day’s end. _We failed. And every reality will pay the price._

Maybe this time it could be different.

Maybe this time, knowing what he knew, they could destroy Honerva once and for all.

“Shiro? Shiro, are you okay?” Keith sounded concerned, touching his chest. Shiro’s focus snapped back to him. “You seemed to go somewhere else there.”

"It's nothing, Keith," he lied. "Don't worry about it." 

“Well,” Keith gulped, "okay, but Shiro? I thought I saw the stone get brighter for a second, when you were thinking,” Keith touched his skin beside the artifact.

“Really?” Shiro felt his blood run cold.

“No, I mean... I’m not sure.”

 

+

 

“Allura?”

She walked faster down the corridor, not bothering to acknowledge him.

“Allura, please! I need to talk to you.”

“Honerva is on Oriande.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“I know you know that. I was there when you explained your plan. It was our best hope, and we listened to you. We… failed.”

“Failed?”

“When we got there, it was already too late. Atlas had to hold off two robeasts, Voltron entered Oriande alone. There you watched Honerva steal the Guardian’s quintessence, which she used to resurrect Lotor.” Allura looked stricken, and then just as suddenly like she was going to be sick.

“Why are you telling me this, Shiro?”

“Because I need your help. I need to know what you would do. Would you use your foreknowledge, try and change the outcome? Would you stand idly by?"

She stared at him silently.

"Could you resist, if the universe depended on it?”

Shiro felt like a bully, making his point while skewering hers. He didn’t want to be smug—far from it—but he needed her to see. He needed her on his side in this, because he would need her help.

“We… failed,” she breathed, trailing off.

“I know how this battle ends, Princess. Maybe I can help us beat her.”

Allura met his eyes then, uncertainty replaced with the hard edge of her determination.

“Okay, what do we need to do?”

 

+

 

As Shiro sat in the briefing room, he remembered it like it was yesterday. He watched it unfold before him, ready for every bit of it.

“The planets are reporting activity. The robeasts are syphoning quintessence!” Veronica’s voice rang with urgency.

“We need to engage them all,” Iverson barked out, “save as many people as we can. We’re talking about triage here!”

Keith was next. “We can split up the lions.”

“One lion can’t handle a robeast on its own!” Hunk's voice hung on to the edge of panic.

Keith stared straight ahead. “No, but it could slow them down. Buy us some time.”

Shiro cleared his throat to say what he would be expected to say. “I say we attack them with the totality of our forces, and wormhole from target to target.”

“No,” Allura stood. “We must attack Oriande directly. I think I know what Honerva is doing.” Allura’s explanation was as ordered as a map, showing them all the way to her shocking conclusion. The gathered parties hanging on every word. “We know Honerva has the ability to create wormholes, and that these wormholes are emanating from Oriande. She used a robeast to steal the Olkari cubes, which can mimic and intensify energy at a distance. And those robeats are essentially armed with komars, able to drain and transmit massive amounts of quintessence.”

Shiro steepled his fingers under his nose. Allura looked at him with significance as she continued. “Honerva is going to concentrate energy from across the universe to Oriande. She is making a komar magnitudes larger than anything we’ve ever seen, something that could drain the quintessence from an entire galaxy.”

“No,” Commander Holt gasped.

“That monster,” Coran cursed.

Pidge, always clear-headed in a crisis, asked the most important question. “What could she possibly need that much energy for?”

Allura glanced at Shiro.

“She means to use the komar on the Guardian,” Allura choked out bitterly. Shiro felt for her, burdening her with this terrible knowledge. But only with foreknowledge would they be able to move against Honerva with the deck stacked in their favor. “Once the Guardian is destroyed, the power will be enough to resurrect Lotor and the syncline mech from the quintessence field.”

“What? No!”

“But, how?”

“Won’t he be just insane?”

“We need to act immediately,” Allura pressed on through the scattered interruptions. “The only way for us to stop her is by going directly to Oriande.”

“Then that’s what Voltron is going to do,” Keith rose to his feet by her side.

Shiro also stood. “The Atlas will be right by your side. We don’t have time to wait for the rest of the Coalition.”

“Contact Matt,” Keith suggested. “Let him know the rebels are going to be in charge of the evacuation efforts for the occupied plants. They shouldn’t expect assistance.”

“Then we are in agreement,” Allura said. “It is time to begin our assault on Oriande.”

Shiro looked at Keith. “It is time to end this war and go home.”

 

+

 

As the Atlas approached the white hole surrounding Oriande, Shiro felt the tension in his stomach grow. They were playing with fate, hopefully not too much. But it also needed to be enough. The universe was counting on them.

Shiro remembered how this went down last time. Two robeasts had emerged where they expected the Guardian, and Atlas and the MFEs had to stay and fight them off to clear a path for Voltron to approach Oriande directly. But this delayed them, and divided them. This time, Shiro was taking a shortcut.

“How’d you get in here?!” Iverson shouted.

“Don’t worry, they’re with me,” Shiro cut him off. Ezor, Zethrid and her Olkari technician walked up behind him onto the bridge. “The Olkari are technical geniuses. He’s going to set up the diversion that we need to get past the robeasts.”

The science officer stood down from his post, making room for the Olkari who hummed to himself as he worked. Within a few dobashes, holographic renderings and false signals of the Atlas and Voltron sprung up all around them, moving in all directions at once, toward the white hole and away. The Atlas and Voltron flew low, and while the robeasts emerged to find an array of combatants, they slipped past easily.

Once inside, all could see Honerva performing the ceremony, all while four robeasts engaged them immediately. They needed to free Honerva’s hold on the Guardian before she could use the komar to deplete him. But where was the white lion of Oriande? He should be right there…

 _“No!”_ Allura cried over the comms.

There was the syncline mech, with Lotor—what remained of him—inside. He was driving his scythe through one of the robeasts, attacking senselessly, a force of pure rage.

A pitched battle ensued, much like what the paladins had told him unfolded last time. Caught between Lotor and the robeasts, and struck with the komar’s energy amidst it all, the lions were forced apart. They lay spent and vulnerable on the planet below.

Atlas fought Lotor head-on. Some of the remaining robeasts had lost some of their spirit, but others of them guarded the unconscious lions in case they were needed.

Shiro watched Allura spring from her downed lion’s cockpit, using her jetpack to move quickly, lining up a clear shot at Honerva. They’d discussed it, what she said happened last time, seeing Lance at Lotor’s mercy and finding herself unwilling to make the sacrifice. They had agreed that this time they must end Honerva, whatever the cost. Allura’s bayard formed a spear.

Two robeasts launched at Atlas just then. They were deflected quickly, turning back to engage Lotor and keep him from the paladins. That was when Shiro saw Lotor’s scythe swinging down on the black lion.

“Keith! NO!”

Allura’s spear pierced Honerva’s chest just as Lotor’s blade pierced through the black lion and the pilot within. Shiro heard him screaming over the comms.

Shiro felt it, too, somehow—through his connection to the black lion, through the astral plane, through the _kire_ or just his soul. He felt the moment when Keith's consciousness flickered out. Gone.

Shiro turned just in time to watch Honerva pull Allura’s spear from her chest. Her awful laugh was the last thing Shiro saw before the scene shattered into crisp blue shards.

 

+

 

“Ahhh!”

Shiro woke screaming, clawing blindly at his surroundings. Something clattered to the floor, some instruments from a tray. All he could see for a moment was blinding light. Then Commander Holt was standing over him in a surgical mask, his brow creased with worry.

“Shiro?” He spoke through the mask. 

Somewhere off to his side, a med tech was scrambling for answers. “He’s stable, Sir. Only his heart rate spiked and... it’s already coming down.”

“Shiro. Are you alright?”

It was the Garrison. He was on Earth.

Shiro swallowed thickly, the panic receding. “Sam, I’m… okay,” he choked out. His head was spinning, more from the chaos in his mind than from the anesthetics. “But I think I'm about to be sick.”

The technician handed him a vomit bag, and ran something into his IV, probably to settle his stomach.

Shiro looked around the operating theater, taking in his surroundings. The gray vinyl of the surgical table, fully reclined. The Garrison medical and technical staff. He turned to see the paladins through the observation window, looking a mix of terrified and relieved. Keith was frowning hard, his eyes boring into him. 

They had just finished attaching his new prosthetic, and had yet to power it on. He could see it on a tray across the room. He didn’t need to check the date.

Tomorrow, Earth would stand against Sendak, and the first of the Altean robeasts. The day the paladins fell from the sky.  

Shiro fell back against the headrest heavily, his human hand covering his eyes to shut out the world. As his head pounded, he thought he heard Honerva’s bitter laugh.

 

+++


	3. Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few warnings: This chapter is _not_ a sexually explicit one, but there's a lot of violence, some body horror, self-harm, and downright medical gore. This chapter also pushes someone to the brink and we see 'em come unglued. 
> 
> If a traumatic accident and mangled bodies and feeling hopelessness set in sounds like too damn much, I totally understand (it was a challenge to write!) and **in that case you're gonna want to skip everything after the robeast's demise.** The start of the following chapter will make clear, in less _graphic_ terms, what occurred at the end here. You won't miss out on following the plot. 
> 
> Oh, and if anyone wants the rest of the playlist they spar to, ask in the comments. Shiro is definitely a classic hard rock fan. Fight me. ^_^

+++

 

Shiro kept his hand over his eyes. He heard Sam Holt’s voice in the background, “Give him a minute.” He heard some feet shuffling away.

He took a deep breath, feeling tightness in his chest where the artifact had fused with him.

 _Tomorrow_. A single day stood between this moment and the pitched battle for Earth that had nearly cost all of them their lives. And that was the first time. There was no telling what could go wrong this time, with this little curse he was carrying.

It could go much, much worse.

Shiro saw afterimages of the lions falling from the sky, burned into his memory. He shuddered.

“Shiro,” Sam’s voice was gentle. “I think that was the worst of it, my friend. The surgery went very smoothly. We’ve successfully attached your new prosthetic arm. We just need to power it on and make any final adjustments.”

Shiro thought darkly about the shattering pain he felt last time they tried the arm without a Balmeran crystal. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that, but at this point he was certain he’d been through worse.

Shiro blinked into the light and strained to sit up, Sam inclining the backrest to support him.

“We’ve outfitted it with the most powerful energy source Earth has to offer. It’s the closest we could get to mimicking a Balmera crystal’s energy. It should generate enough power to operate most of it. The remaining power will be drawn from your body’s own electromagnetic field.”

Shiro watched warily as the med tech set the prosthetic on the tray beside him, the array coming to life with a warm white glow.

He remembered the feeling: the power that felt wrong to him now, but that first time filled him with curiosity and wonder at what his new arm would be capable of. That first time, he was relieved just to have the dull ache gone for the first time since his imprisonment. Not a day went by when the Galra tech hadn’t hurt, even after most of it was severed.

This time the uneven buzz of the terrestrial power source set Shiro’s nerves on edge, his heart already racing. The assistant technician and staff physician both fumbled with their monitors, anxious to find what could be wrong. Then pain shot through him like a fiery poker and everything went white-hot as he struggled in vain for a breath that wouldn’t come.

Shiro saw himself soaring through the astral plane, the starfield blurring around him. He was shooting like a star, aquamarine and luminous. Suddenly he came face to face with the steward. He couldn’t read the mage’s face.

It was over as suddenly as it began. Shiro took a breath, and then another. He heard the monitors settle into the rhythm of his heart, beating strong and steady.

He opened his eyes. Allura was there, her tiara gone. He hated to ask this of her, after all that she had already given. He decided gratitude was more generous than remorse.

“Thank you,” he rasped out. Her eyes shone.

Pidge and Keith rushed in, now standing beside her. Keith tilted his head like he was puzzled by something.

“How are you feeling, Shiro?” Sam asked.

“Good. It’s… feeling much better,” he smiled weakly. “Now, can I get out of here?”

Sam hesitated. “Well, we wanted to run a few more tests, just to be sure, but,” Sam seemed distracted, staring absently at Shiro’s chest, “I think you’ve had enough for one day.”

“Thank you,” he sat up. He found that he had plenty of energy to get up, with the help of the Balmeran crystal no doubt. Even if he didn’t, he’d lose his mind if he sat still for another minute. He needed to move.

His head swam from his hallucination, the steward’s face hard and cold like a mask, disapproving—did he really see that, or was it like a dream?

Shiro looked at Keith significantly as he passed. “Find me later, okay?”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I will.”

Shiro strode for the door like his life depended on it. In a way, it did. He knew he didn’t have much time.

 

+

 

As soon as he was out of earshot, Shiro called Iverson and insisted that he meet with him immediately. They found an unoccupied office and shut the door.

“Got your killer arm now, eh?” Iverson barked a laugh.

Shiro looked down at it, making a fist and spinning it 360 degrees. “Yeah. I think it’ll be just right.”

“So what’s all this secrecy about?”

Shiro chose his words carefully. “I have reason to suspect that Admiral Sanda is going to betray the paladins to Sendak.”

“ _What?_ She wouldn’t betray Earth!”

“She would, if she thought that giving up Voltron was the only way to save Earth.”

Iverson chewed on this, frowning. “What’s your proof?”

“I have none,” Shiro said levely.

“I can’t brig our Admiral over your hunch, Shirogane!”

“I’m not asking you to do anything now. Just… watch her. Get your most trusted officers on her. I promise you. She’ll do it, and I need you to catch her red-handed. You do that, and stop her before she can betray our last hope.”

Iverson narrowed his eyes. “I will.”

When Shiro touched the panel to leave, the door slid open right in front of Sam Holt’s face. Shiro flinched back, startled.

“Commander!”

“At ease. Iverson, you’re dismissed,” his eyes narrowed at Shiro as Iverson squeezed past him, eager to get out of there before whatever might ensure. The air sparked with tension. “I thought you’d be resting.”

“I will be now. I needed a mission update first.”

Sam took a step inside, allowing the door to slide closed behind him. “In a broom closet? Come on, Shiro, you really are a terrible liar. Tell me what’s going on.”

“There’s nothing going on, I just had questions—”

“Spare me,” Sam shouted. “I thought I saw something when the power surged, a glow coming from your chest. I thought I was imagining it, but then I checked the scans. How do you explain this?”

Sam shoved a tablet into his hands, showing a full-spectral scan of the artifact. Shiro’s jaw dropped. It was the first time he’d seen it rendered, how it was fused with his anatomy. It wasn’t just the stone, it was more. Tiny blue tendrils spread out through his nervous system, a bundle of threads reaching into his brain.

“You have exactly three minutes left to explain, before Pidge sends up a system-wide alert and brings all of hell down on your ass,” Sam seethed. “What are you, and what have you done with Shiro?”

Shiro rocked back on his heels. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t that.

“Sam! It’s me, I swear,” he racked his brain. He couldn’t think of any way out of this one, other than the bald truth. “Okay, okay. It's an Altean artifact that manipulates time. I’m- I’m from the future, slipping backwards in our timeline. One minute we were facing Honerva, getting our asses kicked, and then I woke up screaming in that OR.”

Sam’s eyes were wide.

Shiro reached for his chest impulsively. In the dim light it was already gleaming subtly through his thin hospital clothes. He raised his shirt until Sam could see it completely.

Sam gasped. “What in the universe? But, no- I was right there when they operated on you! There was nothing there then. How did this happen? _When_ did this happen?”

“It’s too much to explain, Sam. I don’t know how to convince you. But it’s the truth. Only, they can’t know, okay? It affects things, when people know.” Shiro heard how desperate he sounded, but that was honest, too. 

Sam cleared his throat. “Can we trust you?”

“Yes.”

Sam nodded, activating his comm. It was Pidge on the other end. “Dad?”

“It’s okay, Pidge. I was wrong. Shiro, he- he checks out.”

“So what’s going on?”

Sam eyed him. “I’m still working out the details. Keep this strictly under wraps, okay kiddo?”

“Yeah, Dad. Okay,” they grimaced.

Sam shut off the channel, sagging ever so slightly. He leaned against the wall, rubbing his eyes.

“I buried the scans already, no one will ever find them. But Pidge saw, and you know how my kid is. I’ll have to tell them something...”

“Let me handle it.”

Sam looked a little green, but he breathed a sigh. “I thought you were under their power, that the Galra had taken control of you somehow. I very nearly shot first and asked questions later.”

“You would have been justified, Sam. I’m glad you gave me a chance to explain. I mean, I never thought anything like this was possible. But, you’ve been out there… you of all people know the kinds of things we encountered all across the universe.”

Sam nodded. “Balmera. Olkari cubes. Teludavs. Space folds. White holes. Trans-reality ore. But, Shiro… time travel? Really?”

“I know how it sounds, believe me, but so far that's what we've figured out. Maybe Pidge can help me get a little more figured out.

Sam looked distracted. "You don't seem that satisfied with our future."

Shiro remembered back to how he'd woken up screaming. "No. I- I wouldn't say I was. When I woke up in surgery, I’d just watched us lose the battle of our lives.”

Sam’s face went white. “We… lost?”

“Not the battle for Earth. But after that, we have to battle Honerva for the universe.”

“Honerva? You mean Zarkon’s witch?”

“Yes, um, sorry. Haggar. She… started reclaiming her Altean identity, in the years that Voltron was missing in action. She’s preparing her assault now, using the last of the Altean people as pawns in her war.”

Sam exhaled, rubbing his temples. 

“Honerva is growing too powerful. That is why I’m here, somehow. They’re related. It’s like I’m being sent back to catch her in the act. That’s all I can work out so far, from the times I've jumped to. Otherwise I don’t know why here, why now…” he trailed off.

Sam was studying him, looking to him for guidance in matters that for once he hadn’t yet had time to grasp. Sam trusted him, needed him to show him the path forward.

“I think I’m here to help us win this fight once and for all.”

Sam set his jaw. “How can I help?”

Shiro’s thoughts raced, sifting for the important details.

“I told Iverson to keep an eye on Admiral Sanda. She’s going to betray the paladins in a misguided attempt to glean mercy from Sendak.”

“Oh god! I knew she was going to advocate surrender, but- I never imagined she’d actually move against us! Against Earth!”

“She believes there’s no other way, but we still have to stop her. Help get Iverson anything he needs to catch her in the act.”

“Got it.”

“There’s something else I need you to do. Go ask Coran about that crystal he’s wearing around his neck. It’s an infinite mass crystal from the destruction of the Castle of Lions in the collapsing rifts into the quintessence field. That crystal will power the Atlas and then some.”

Sam’s mouth hung open. “How- how is that possible…”

“You just need to get him to bring it to the Atlas’ crystal array and the ship will do the rest. You’ll be amazed, Sam. That ship is more incredible than you know,” his eyes misted slightly. “Think you and Coran can get Atlas going with no one the wiser?”

“If you say it’s possible, then I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”

“Good.”

Sam studied him. “What are you going to do?”

Shiro’s gaze was far away. “There are a few more conversations I need to have. I just hope I’m ready.”

 

+

 

When he got back to his quarters, Shiro took a searing hot shower. His body felt clean in a literal sense, but he needed to try and wash the stain of the battle for Oriande from his heart and mind. He’d felt like he was choking back bile since he came to on the operating table.

He eyed his rebuilt shoulder that held the prosthetic’s traction array. He knew it well, but he didn’t remember noticing ever before how delicately it had been done. It was simply stunning seeing the infusion of Altean and Olkari medical technology with Earth medicine, based largely on data Sam Holt had brought back with him years prior. What incisions there were looked subtle as hell, almost invisible mere hours later. He let the water pour over his shoulder, the heat soothing his muscles there.

He tried not to think about the last shower he’d taken, failing spectacularly. The feel of Keith’s skin against his, fingertips digging into his shoulder and back. How he had cried as Shiro filled him. The sweet, heartfelt way they’d made love. Seeing the old hurt starting to mend.

Shiro cursed under his breath. He couldn’t help it; the memories continued unabated. He pounded the wall in frustration, his forehead slumping against the bulkhead. This was not helping. He shut off the water.

He had messages from all over the base. He scanned them as he dried off. Command wanted updates, insight, answers. He didn’t have any for them, none he planned to share. There was a group channel open now with the Holts, checking in about his prosthetic, Pidge asking if they could "run any tests”—conveniently not mentioning the artifact over official channels, but it was implied.

Keith had sent a message at dawn that he wanted to see him before he went in for surgery that morning. He asked it casually, like it was no big deal, but Shiro knew better.

Shiro wondered vaguely if that rendezvous had happened; he didn’t remember anything like that, from before, but every memory was laced with new meaning. Shiro’s heart thudded.

He was grateful he'd had a moment to scroll through most of the file Keith had sent over, a translated text on the fundamentals of Galra reproduction. He wondered at why Keith had never read it, why he never felt ready to resolve those unanswered questions. What held him back? Surely it was better to know, wasn't it? Keith's body could carry a child, most likely, though the mere idea of it had terrified him. That settled that. Shiro would find some condoms while they were on Earth, in case it might be something he would prefer. Even if he was sterile, peace of mind was worth a lot. 

Shiro thought about what happened at Oriande, trying to decide what he could learn from it. He’d tried to alter the timeline, and failed. It felt to him like he hadn’t done _enough_ , that he’d have to do _more_ this time, but there was no way to be sure that was the right choice.

Honerva’s laugh still tormented him. They’d staked everything on a spear through her heart being the end of her. It had cost them everything, and still she lived. The quintessence that had driven her mad had also rendered her all but invincible.

Shiro felt his anger roiling within him. He would tear her apart himself, just you watch. He would stop at nothing.

But first, there was Sendak and the fate of Earth. It made him steam that he couldn’t focus on ridding the universe of that witch.

He considered donning his command uniform, but he was technically off duty because of surgery, at least until the briefing in several hours. He reached for his scant few casual clothes, mostly the same vest he’d worn for years that originally belonged to Keith's dad, along with his black tactical suit, standard paladin issue. The layers would make sure the artifact’s shape and dim glow couldn’t catch anyone’s eye.

He shot Keith a message as soon as he was dressed.

_I need a walk to clear my head. Catch you after?_

He had one boot on when he felt his communicator rumble, silently indicating a reply.

_can I come?_

Shiro exhaled slowly. He pushed his foot into his second boot.

_Always._

 

+

 

What Shiro wouldn’t give for a speeder ride right now.

It was an awkward wish, in a way, what with the Garrison locked down under the imminent threat of the end of all of Terran civilization. We all have coping mechanisms.

But as Shiro walked to meet Keith by the training deck, he found himself desperate to race, to fly so fast that he couldn’t think, only react.

Keith was always game for that kind of thing—especially unsanctioned, if he was honest—but Shiro had to admit that he couldn’t justify a joy ride right now.

Keith was waiting for him by the doors that led from the training deck out onto the courtyard.

“Hey,” Keith looked at him curiously. Shiro knew that look well, holding all the questions he never let himself ask. “Sounded like you wanted to talk.”

“I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

“Oh,” Keith pulled up a bit short. Shiro felt his face burning; he so rarely let himself be this honest. Keith didn’t fail to notice. “Okay. Sure,” he fidgeted with the collar of his uniform. “Did you, uh, just want to walk around the base or something?”

“Well, yeah, something like that...” Shiro cast his eyes around. Keith followed his gaze to one of the training rooms.

“I mean, I figured you were on bed rest orders, but I’m game if you are,” Keith smirked.

“Hm?”

“You’re positively drooling over that mat room right now, Shiro. Provided no one is going to brig me for fighting you in your _weakened condition_ ,” the words were drenched in sarcasm, “I’d say you’d rather train than take a walk.”

It was true, his muscles itched for it. Keith made up his mind and strode past Shiro into the open room, already taking off his uniform jacket, revealing the paladin tactical suit he wore underneath. Always ready, like a good soldier.

“Okay then,” Shiro said. He followed and dropped his vest by the door as it slid closed.

“Seriously, though,” Keith was standing in front of the stereo panel, pondering the available library. “Are you cleared?”

Shiro huffed a laugh. “When has that ever stopped me?”

“Point,” Keith said over his shoulder, finger hovering over the play button on the console. He seemed unsure, but curiosity finally won out.

The first guitar riff that peeled out of the speakers hit Shiro like summer sun on his face. He smiled so wide it almost hurt.

“AC/DC!” Shiro laughed, “oh my god, I haven’t heard this is ages.” It's not like they’d had much access to Earth music on the other end of the universe. Shiro could feel his body responding to the opening lick, itching to move with the rhythm.

“You know this song?” Keith scoffed.

“Of course! _Back in Black._ Have I taught you nothing?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You really are _old_ , aren’t you?” He didn’t even try to hide his taunting smile, rounding on him and taking a fighting stance, his bayard flashing into a sword.

 _The nerve_ , he thought, without any bite at all. He didn’t reach for a weapon; his hand was a weapon.

“Come on. Let’s try out this new arm of yours.”

“Oh, you’re on, punk,” Shiro shook his head, stalking in a circle.

He studied Keith’s stance, his lithe, easy movement, always light on his feet. Shiro launched at him just as Johnson’s voice screeched through the air.

 _Back in black_  
_I hit the sack_  
_I've been too long I'm glad to be back_  
_Yes, I'm let loose_  
_From the noose_  
_That's kept me hanging about_  
_I've been looking at the sky_  
_'Cause it's gettin' me high_  
_Forget the hearse 'cause I never die_  
_I got nine lives_  
_Cat's eyes_  
_Abusin' every one of them and running wild_

Shiro faked right before moving in left, parrying the sword with his gauntlet’s built-in shielding and taking a few swift swipes at key body targets.

Keith deflected them all, unsurprisingly. He fought like a dream. Shiro was no stranger to the perfection of his form, his determination, his razor-sharp mind in combat situations. Shiro ducked and rolled to evade a particularly quick reversal, finally seeing an opportunity to kick left and take out his leg for a split second.

When Keith stumbled, Shiro’s ridge hand sliced within a hair’s breadth of Keith’s neck while he attempted to take out his other leg. Spectacularly, Keith arched backward so far he had to somersault, kicking high as he did, landing in a low crouch into a spin back sweep. Now it was Shiro losing his balance, parrying a volley of cuts with his gauntlet and all but diving out of the way.

 _Back in the back_  
_Of a Cadillac_  
_Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack_  
_Yes, I'm in a bang_  
_With a gang_  
_They've got to catch me if they want me to hang_  
_'Cause I'm back on the track_  
_And I'm beatin' the flack_  
_Nobody's gonna get me on another rap_  
_So look at me now_  
_I'm just makin' my play_  
_Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way_

Something Shiro loved about the traction array arm was moving in at impossible angles, defying the anatomy that governed most close combat. When Keith’s blade struck the gauntlet, he’d instinctively slide it towards the elbow to check Shiro’s movement, but Shiro could twist his shielded forearm in any direction without warning. There were benefits to not having an elbow.

The downside was his unprotected ribs on that side. He tended towards a left lead the more he’d trained with this modified anatomy, sheltering that side which could sometimes be a liability.

He twisted past Keith’s parry, landing a bruising punch in the center of his chest. If his arm was inside Keith’s guard, Keith’s blade was inside his, a constant hazard unless he got out of range first. Keith coughed from the strike but wasted no time thrusting his blade toward Shiro’s ribs. He dodged but felt the blade catch, coming away with a tiny slice in the fabric.

“Hey!”

“I’m not playing nice, I don’t know why you are.”

Shiro frowned. “Am not!”

“You’re holding out on me,” Keith panted. “Use your arm.” Keith banked right to his exposed side, finding the chinks. Shiro managed to parry several volleys and dodge several more, but the message was received. He was going to pick away at his options until he had to use his arm’s energy pulse, or take a beating—or yield.

Shiro felt himself stiffen. “I’m not going to blast you, Keith.”

“Ha! Like you even can,” Keith taunted, sprinting right, dodging, ducking. He struck low and very nearly forced a defensive blast out of him. He managed at the last second to get out of range of his blade, surrendering a lot of ground in the process.

Shiro knew he was baiting him, forcing his hand as it were, but he also knew Keith was right. Keith was too good a fighter for him to worry about that, and even if he got one good strike in, he didn’t have to hit him with everything he had. He didn’t have to be- amped, like he was when…

“Shiro?”

Without realizing it, he’d slowed to a walk, stalking in a wider circle. His eyes were still on Keith’s center, stance still spring-loaded, but he’d stopped attacking, slipping into defense.

“You caught me thinking.”

“Uh oh,” Keith sneered.

“Yeah. Uh oh,” Shiro moved in then, hunting for targets fast and hard. Keith was faster and often relied on his speed, but liked to keep his distance until the most strategic moment. At close range, Shiro could overpower him much more easily.

Keith’s blade was of little use with Shiro right on top of him, which he was managing to do again and again, his bayard manifesting a kind of gauntlet blade instead of a sword. That was a thing to watch, the fluidity of Keith’s command of the bayard. It was a part of him in ways he’d never seen from the other paladins—nor attained himself, in the too-brief time that the black bayard was really his.

Shiro was sweating hard now. They both were, and neither gave any sign of letting up. It felt good, the instinct to push and to strike, and to get as good as he gave. Pummeling each other over the years was often the only way they would let each other be close. He'd savored those times, feeling the power and heat of Keith's body moving against him, energetically interlocked. Hearing each other pant and strain. 

Respect also drove Shiro to push Keith as hard as he himself wanted to be pushed. It was one way for Shiro to acknowledge his talent, a compliment even Keith would understand. Shiro had always tried to give him the opportunity to rise rather than trying to prevent the fall. 

So when Shiro made it inside his guard, he shot an energy pulse from his hand, just enough to sting, to let Keith know where he was vulnerable. He might be sprinting or diving out of the way afterwards to escape Keith’s wrath, but he was starting to break him down.

After several of these in a row over valuable body targets, the pulses getting hotter each time, Keith growled.

“Still think I’m going easy on you?”

“Shut up and fight,” he bit out.

Shiro felt it when Keith dialed it up another notch. Keith’s knees were sharp as hell, breaking down his stance, while he landed several elbows—and one especially hard one along Shiro’s jaw. Lucky for him, it was the unarmored forearm that landed.

In a flash, Keith’s sword was at his throat, poised and halted. Shiro’s mech hand was flat on Keith’s chest, blaster ready, but they both knew it had gotten there a second too late. Game over.

Shiro whistled. Keith gifted him with an actual smile as he willed his sword away.

“Break?”

“Sure,” Keith watched him as Shiro paced a bit, swinging his arms to stretch his shoulders, rolling his neck. Shiro felt Keith’s eyes lapping him up; it felt good to be seen. He kept his own eyes elsewhere, letting him look.

“So how does it feel?”

“Good, it’s- it’s great, actually. It feels fully integrated. And the Balmera crystal, it’s like a cool breeze in my nerves, when I start to feel frayed. Soothing, kind of. I definitely like that better than, well. You know.”

“Yeah. Hold on a tic,” Keith said suddenly, pausing the stereo and heading out the door and around the corner for a minute. He came back with a couple of water bottles, tossing one to Shiro.

“Perfect.” He downed more than half of his in a gulp. Keith stood by his side.

“So what was all that thinking about?” Keith nudged him with his shoulder. “I mean, you got a little lost there.”

“I know, I- just have a lot on my mind, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Keith sighed. “I wish we knew what Sendak is planning.”

Shiro thought over what he needed to say. “I think I’ve figured that part out.”

Keith studied him. “Okay. Care to share?”

“Of course, sorry. I mean, I want to. See, I’ve been thinking back over my time as Sendak’s prisoner. There’s still so much I don’t remember. But you’ll see the intel at the briefing, we're dealing with six massive armaments worldwide. And when something like that is familiar, it sort of… shakes something loose.”

It was an outright lie, of course. But Shiro hoped it would be a decent cover for his inexplicable future-vision. Because he was going to win this war. He was going to use Voltron and Atlas to rip Sendak from the sky. He was going to end this without all the pain and trauma of the last time. He knew what to do, and he was going to use every scrap of it to waste Sendak and all of his forces.

And he needed to keep Keith from knowing about the future. Just to be sure he wasn’t ending up dead because of that foreknowledge.

Keith turned to face him, his hand coming to squeeze his left shoulder and shaking him from his reverie. Shiro shook his head to clear it.

“Hey. You know you can talk to me, right?”

Shiro met his eyes, matching his intention and evading the actual question. “They’re Zaiforge cannons.”

The horror was plain on Keith’s face. “Fuck. To destroy Earth, if we won’t surrender the lions. Or even if we do.”

Shiro nodded slowly. “Yes. One in each installation, six in all, with ground armaments to protect the cannons after they launch. I don’t know for certain, but judging by the closest installation, I’d say they’re almost completed. We need to take out those cannons today and make sure they never have a chance to launch.”

“But, Shiro. Today? We don’t even have our lions,” Keith said gravely. “I- I have no idea how we’re going to get back to them, after crashing the cruiser we rode in on. We have to figure that out.”

“You don’t need to go to them,” Shiro said slowly. “They’ll come to you. As paladins, you can connect with your lions. Reach out to them.”

Keith was quiet for a moment. “You’re serious. From Saturn.”

“From anywhere. Keith,” he tilted his head, “you’ve been training for this since the very beginning. You’ve formed an incredible bond with the black lion.”

“Because of you.”

“I appreciate the thought, but no. This is all you. The things I’ve watched you do. And the things you do with your bayard now make my head spin. And each of you has forged a unique bond, powerful and completely your own. Each one is a reflection of who you are. When it’s time, you’ll tap into all of that. They will come.”

Keith’s eyes pierced him again, deep in thought. “How are you so sure?”

“Because I know what you’re capable of. I always have.”

The affection in Keith’s face spurred him on. He couldn’t tell him the whole truth, but he could tell him what mattered most.

“It never feels like the right time to talk, but I’ve realized it never will. You’ve been the most important person in my life for a long, long time. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you.”

Keith rocked back on his heels, forgetting to breathe. Shiro tried to read the tangle of emotions on his face.

“I don’t expect anything, please know that, but- I need you to know.”

Keith’s eyes narrowed then, his mouth forming a small frown. “Shiro, what is this? Why are you telling me this now? You’re acting like you’re saying goodbye.”

_Oh._

“No!” Shiro’s eyes were a bit wide, almost pleading. He brought his hands to Keith’s shoulders.

“No- not at all. Quite the opposite,” he smiled softly, speaking with all the confidence he could summon. “We’re going to _end_ this today, Keith. I know we are. And when we do, I want you by my side,” he stepped forward until he could feel the heat of Keith’s breath on his face, grazing his hands down his arms until he found Keith’s hands with both of his. “That’s how I want this story to end.”

Keith’s eyes were impossibly large.

“I love you, too, Shiro,” he choked out, his voice thick with emotion. “I think I always have.”

Shiro felt tears pricking his eyes, squeezing Keith’s hands.

“So, no. Not goodbye. I won’t accept that,” he choked out a sad laugh. It was too close to home. “In fact, I want you to promise me you’re going to come back to me. Just come back, Keith. So we can figure out what’s next.”

"I- I..."

"Keith, please."

“I will,” his voice shook.

Shiro wrapped him in his arms then, kissing his face and holding him to his chest. Keith blinked up at him, tilting his head to find his lips for the first time. Shiro matched him perfectly, already knowing his rhythms, how he liked to kiss. He felt his lungs filling with hope as he breathed in his scent.

There was a startled gasp behind them. Shiro turned to see Pidge in the open doorway shielding their eyes and looking pointedly at the ground. He’d forgotten Keith had left the door open.

“Oh god, sorry, I- uh, bad timing,” Pidge groaned. Shiro smiled. “Uh, I did _NOT_ need to see that—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Shiro slid his human hand into Keith’s, lacing their fingers while putting a bit of space between them. He knew he would try to let Pidge know it was okay to look up, even if it was in vain. He could see that Pidge was blushing furiously behind the partial shield of their hand.

“Can I come find you in a minute?”

“Yeah, sure, I- I just wanted to run those scans on your prosthetic we were talking about?” Pidge finally peeked around their hand. “You know, before the briefing?”

_Right._

Time was short, and Pidge deserved answers. Shiro needed a few of his own.

He felt Keith squeeze his hand. “Shiro, it’s okay. You go on. We’ve gotta make sure you’re in fighting shape.”

Shiro gripped his hand tighter. He wasn’t ready to let go.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here after.”

Shiro felt his stomach twist, but tried to make the smile on his face encouraging and warm. He hoped he succeeded.

“Okay.”

 

+

 

Several minutes after Keith had walked away, Pidge still wouldn’t look at him. Walking through the Garrison halls towards Sam’s private lab, Shiro was pretty sure he’d never seen someone’s eyes so pointedly averted.

“Pidge, is everything okay?”

“I dunno, is it?”

Shiro bit his lip. “I mean, are _you_ okay?”

Pidge thought a moment, and then sighed. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m glad you are, too,” Pidge eyed him. “You had me freaked.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be, it’s just… a lot to take in.”

Shiro wanted to know if they were still talking about the foreign object they'd caught sight of in his chest, or maybe about the private moment Pidge had just walked in on. He really couldn’t ask about either until they finally rounded another corner and ducked into Sam’s private lab, shutting the door.

“Okay, spill,” Pidge demanded.

He should have expected this. He had, in a way. _You know how my kid is._ Pidge was pretty ferocious when they had their mind set on something.

“I’m... time traveling?” Shiro sighed, feeling small all of a sudden, uncertain. “Honestly, I’m hoping you can help me with that part.”

“Well, I’m gonna need more to go on than that. What in the hell is this thing?” Pidge handed over a tablet with the med scan pulled up. Shiro didn’t need to look at it to reply, but he was fascinated, and more than a little unsettled by the hard evidence of what was happening to him.

“You talk,” they said, reaching for some handheld equipment, “I’ll get some more readings.”

“Okay,” Shiro said. He stood there in his form-fitting black suit, the artifact still fully hidden, as Pidge passed various scanners over his chest, around his ribs, and up and down his spine. “Later this year, we’re out there fighting Haggar, but she goes by Honerva by now. She thinks she’s reclaiming her Altean heritage, but she’s more of a monster than ever. She found the Alteans on the colony, manipulated them to power terrible komar-enabled robeasts. She’s masterminded a way of generating a komar so massive that it is capable of harvesting the quintessence from entire galaxies."

Pidge gasped. “But- but what could she possibly need that much energy for?”

“To destroy the guardian, and to bring back Lotor, so far. Honestly we couldn’t figure out what her endgame was, but then the Blades intercepted intelligence about an artifact her druids were seeking, this Altean amulet that can affect time. The artifact was concealed within the astral plane; the intercepted intelligence held the location of a rare element that matched the artifact’s energy. Kolivan believed that I would be able to find the artifact before her druids, provided I got to the element they’d identified first. Well, we beat them there, and it worked. The steward tried to warn me about something when he gave it to me, but there wasn’t time—”

“Who?”

“Oh, the soul of the Altean mage who had guarded the artifact in the astral plane for millennia. The mage told me I had to take it and that they were sorry, that it was a terrible burden, but we were taking fire—in the real world, that is. They thrust it on me and vanished. When I came to, I was wearing it on a chain. It wasn’t until the first time I… activated it, that I woke up with it fused to my chest.”

“So… you brought a magical rock back from the astral plane.”

“Well, I brought the _magic_ back. But I think the rock was already in my hand, in the cave. I wondered if, maybe, the stone I was holding somehow captured the energy of it. Transformed into the amulet. It’s not even the same shape as what I saw the steward wearing.”

Pidge’s scrunched face looked like a scowl, but Shiro knew it was directed at no one in particular. It meant they were puzzling hard over some detail that didn’t quite fit in their highly-ordered mind.

“How do you use it?”

“I- I don’t know how it works. Honestly, I swore I _wouldn’t_ use it. But it keeps happening.” He hung his head.

“How many times?”

“Twice now.”

“What causes it?”

Shiro knew he needed to tell them more, but it made his heart hurt. “Disaster. It started in that cave, after we recovered the _kire_. That’s what the steward called it. Keith, Allura and I were pinned down in a firefight. We faced the druid and... he killed Keith. There was nothing I could do.” He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Shiro, I’m- I’m sorry.” He felt Pidge squeeze his left arm. “That must’ve been awful. I- I know how much he means to you.”

Shiro nodded, keeping his eyes tightly closed. “He was burning alive,” his voice strained, “And I had to watch. I just- I refused to accept it. I couldn’t allow that to happen. Then the _kire_ flashed a brilliant blue, and the space around me rippled and distorted until it seemed to shatter. And then I woke up about two months earlier, about to face another crisis. One that I’d seen before.”

“So, you didn’t decide what time you were going back to?”

“No, I didn’t decide.”

“Are you sure?”

Shiro’s brow creased. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, like, are the situations you go back to significant ones? I mean, this certainly seems like a big one.”

Shiro thought on it. “You’re right. The struggle for Earth. The assault on Oriande. They’re battles that scare the hell out of me. We pulled through in both cases, but… the costs were too high.”

“So, do you think you’re trying to change the past?”

“I said I didn’t choose—”

“—But you _would_ choose these times, wouldn’t you? If you could.”

The silence spoke volumes.

“Yes,” he conceded.

Pidge made a sour face. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“What am I supposed to do!” He shouted, pulling away from Pidge. He paced angrily. “I’m here, aren’t I? Am I supposed to sit by and watch it all unfold, knowing what I know now? Reliving every error, every miscalculation, every betrayal?”

Pidge’s eyes were wide. “I- I don’t know. I can’t imagine I’d do any different. But maybe that’s what the steward meant, about the burden. Maybe you have to trust that all of those things happened that way for a reason.”

The fire went out of him. It had a certain logic to it, he thought bitterly, looking at his feet. He shook himself, meeting Pidge’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I shouted. I just... have a lot on my mind. I think you might be right, but it’s too late for that. I’ve set things in motion. I can’t second-guess myself now,” he looked away. He was thinking about Keith, about all of his friends, the people who had become his family. He was watching them fall from the sky.

“I need things to go differently this time.”

“Okay.”

He looked up. “Okay?”

Pidge’s mouth quirked up at one corner. “Let’s tear Sendak apart.”

Shiro smiled back, breathing deeply. “Now you’re talking.”

Pidge studied their tablet for several minutes, reviewing the data. “Well that's weird. I expected to find trans-reality signatures on your body, but I’m getting a sort of dual reading. I think the artifact is from another dimension, but you are still Shiro from this dimension. Your atoms, I mean, belong _here_. In the present.”

“What? How?”

“—And that makes sense, actually, when you think about it! I mean, you woke up with incisions and a newly-attached shoulder array, rather than one that was fully healed. And if you body was from the future, wouldn't there be another, present-time Shiro running around here, as well?"

"Huh, I guess so."

"Can I see it?”

Shiro hesitated. “Uh. Okay.” He unfastened his suit from the neckline down his torso until the _kire_ was exposed, gleaming mysteriously.

“Wow,” Pidge’s jaw hung loose.

“You said my body was from the present. I- I don’t think I understand. Isn’t my mind, you know, part of my body?”

“It is, of course. But, like, that might not be where the thoughts and memories are coming from. See, I originally theorized that your body was moving through time, but… it’s definitely not. There would be evidence written all over your cells. Instead, the only part of you that’s sort of out-of-place is the _kire_ itself. Just look at these pathways, running throughout your nervous system,” Pidge indicated them on a full-body scan, zooming in on the bundle of wire-thin connections running between his chest cavity and his spinal cord, scrolling upwards to show the tendrils that reached into his brain. It gave Shiro the impression of a parasite of some kind.

“It’s like your consciousness is attached to the _kire_ , and it sort of... takes over your body, when it arrives in the timeline.”

“Like, mind control.” Shiro forgot to breathe.

Pidge looked uncomfortable. “Sort of? Except, it’s you, controlling your own mind. Right?”

“Yes, I- I mean, I feel like me. But… well, that doesn’t prove much at all.”

“Fair point,” Pidge muttered.

Shiro reached for a nearby stool. He needed to steady himself, so he sat down. His head was pounding, and the room felt suddenly small as his anxiety spiked. “How do I know I am really who I say I am I?”

“Hey, hey,” Pidge stepped toward him, grabbing both shoulders. “I don’t know what’s happening to you, but just so you know, I can feel that it’s you.”

Shiro just stared. He didn’t want to call Pidge out, but he knew too well that the clone had slipped by them for a full year. It could happen again. And, if it did, he wouldn’t even know.

Pidge frowned, taking in his expression. “You know, I never said it, but- I think I could feel it when you were replaced with the clone. I couldn’t prove it… but all the things you didn’t remember, the different ways you reacted, the way you let the team. It was like a totally different person. I had to decide to trust you or else we couldn’t form Voltron, we’d just fall apart, but it felt like more of a... truce. I had to wait to see what you’d do.”

“That is surprisingly comforting to hear,” Shiro smiled weakly. “He feels different to me, too. When I absorbed his memories, they’re like… choices I might make, if I’d lived a completely different life.” Shiro thought for a moment. “Is that why you wrote the program to combat the software in my arm? Because you knew?”

“I mean, the Galra tech was a threat to the Castle’s security, no matter who you were. But I did feel like you were different, and I was worried. I found myself missing you, even though you were supposedly right there.”

Shiro’s eyes softened. “He loved you guys, too, you know. In his own way. He just wanted to be one of you. He never wanted to be the villain.”

“I know that.” Pidge hugged him, then. “But, you… you’re the real Shiro. I’d stake my life on it. I will.”

Shiro hugged back.

He'd have to trust it. What other choice did he have?

 

+

 

Shiro showered and changed quickly into his uniform. He was ready for the briefing, had worked out the details. It was time to move the timetable up.

Pidge stood with Allura at the head of the meeting table, making their report.

“We’ve learned so much from Sendak’s memories. We discovered his methods for taking over planets like Earth.”

Allura continued. “Sendak constructs armaments at key strategic points around planets. This gives him the ability to control enormous swathes of territory. He uses the armaments as deterrents to prevent any uprisings and to control the conquered population.”

Veronica pulled up a worldwide war map on the screen. “Based on data from Commander Holt’s micro-satellites, cross-referenced with resistance intel, we’ve ascertained that Sendak built six massive structures on Earth. We never knew what they were being used for, until now.

“They’re the weapons?” Hunk asked. “So, what’s stopping us from blowing them up?”

Sanda all but snarled as she replied. “We simply don’t have enough firepower to do the job. And even if we did, there’s a good chance those facilities contain civilians. We can’t just go in blind.”

“I can tell you exactly what those are.” All heads snapped in Shiro’s direction as he said it. “Those are Zaiforge cannons, and I’m betting they’re almost completed.”

Veronica was on her pad, clearly skimming the intel she’d brought to the meeting. “How do you—”

“I’m sorry,” he cut her off. “There’s little time to explain. I was Sendak’s prisoner; I’ve seen his tactics before.”

“What exactly is a Zaiforge cannon?” Iverson cut in.

“Planet-killers,” Keith said. “If these cannons launch and are fully charged, Sendak will be able to destroy Earth in seconds. We’ll need to attack all six bases at once, allowing them no time to stage a counter-attack.”

“There may be civilians at the installations still, it’s true,” Shiro added. “But the citizens of Earth are in far more danger from those cannons than from our counter-measures. It’s a risk we’ll have to take.”

Sanda stood up, pounding her fist on the table. “What counter-attack! In case you’ve forgotten, your lions are orbiting another planet,” she growled. “There’s no way to get you to them. All we have are a couple of short-range fighters, against an entire Galra armada and planet-destroying cannons. Can’t you see that you’re out of your depth, Shirogane?”

“No, Admiral. You are.” It was Commander Holt. “It’s time to sit down and listen to the paladins.”

Shiro looked at Keith, who nodded. Keith rose from his seat.

“We don’t need to go to our lions. We’ll call them to us.”

“What?” Hunk looked dubious. “I love you, Keith, but do you even know how far away Saturn is?”

“Think about it,” Keith said, looking at each of them. “Remember all the times the lions came to us. Red saved my life numerous times, and Lance’s too. Black came for Shiro and I, when we were falling.”

“Our lions did come to us when we were lost in space,” Lance admitted. He was starting to smile.

“Whenever we needed them, when it was too much for us to do on our own. That’s what being a paladin is all about: we’re better together. We don’t need to win this on our own. We have each other, and we have the lions, too.”

“Yes,” Allura smiled wistfully. “It’s possible! So we’ll call the lions to meet us here!”

“We’ll need the element of surprise,” Pidge said. “The lions will have to rendezvous with us at the bases.”

“The MFE’s will need to attack the sixth cannon, after dropping the paladins at bases two through five.”

“We’d love to,” James Griffin piped up, “but they don’t have that kind of range.”

Coran had been uncharacteristically quiet, but now he pursed his lips. “Hm. There should be enough phonotonium left to boost the MFEs to the sixth base and back!”

“I’ll bring Lance to base one. It’s the closest, so I can do it by ground.”

“Wow,” Hunk said, “yeah, we’re really gonna catch the Galra off-guard. I mean- assuming that our lions respond to our calls. Wha- what if they don’t come?”

“They’ll come,” Shiro heard himself saying, also coming to his feet. Keith met his eyes with confidence. “And when they do, you will strike and destroy all six cannons simultaneously before they can be launched. And when the job’s done, you can form Voltron and finish off Sendak and the rest of his forces.”

Shiro could see it all, a tapestry set out before him. All the same threads were there, except he was changing the pattern, working his foreknowledge into the weft. He felt an unnatural warmth in his chest, but he ignored it. They’d end this fight before it began.

He couldn’t warn them about Honerva’s robeast, not yet, but he reasoned that they’d be a whole day ahead by then, maybe more. There would be time to prepare. One thing at a time.

“It’s settled then,” Commander Holt joined Shiro and Keith on his feet. "Let’s get to work. We launch in twenty minutes.”

As the meeting broke up, Shiro watch warily as Sanda left the room, but Iverson was already on her, as well as another soldier Shiro didn’t recognize from the Atlas. He tried to place his name, wondering if he was one of the soldiers who hadn’t made it through the last battle with Sendak. The paladins had made it out with their lives—barely—but there were other lives lost.

It would be different this time. He’d make sure of it.

He felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder. “Coran and I have something to show you.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there,” he said, his eyes searching for Keith. Keith was waiting for him across the room. As he approached, Shiro felt his hands tremble with adrenaline. “I’m walking down to the hanger.”

“Good, me too.”

As they started to walk, Keith studied him from the corner of his eye. Shiro let the back of his hand brush Keith’s—not making the decision for him, just an invitation.

Keith took his hand. 

“Everything okay with Pidge?”

“Everything’s okay.”

“And you’re going to the hanger to, what, see us off?”

“Sam is making progress on the Atlas,” he said quietly, almost under his breath. “I’m going to help him.”

Keith looked stunned. “And why are we not talking about that at briefings?”

“Because I can’t trust Admiral Sanda right now. But don’t worry, I’ve got that taken care of.” Just then he had an incoming message from Iverson. He opened the channel. “Go ahead.”

“You were right, Shirogane. We got her. I think we’re going to need to have some field promotions.”

“Admiral Holt has a nice ring to it. Don’t worry, he’s expecting it. I’ll update him.” Iverson grunted and Shiro closed the channel. They were just entering the hanger, which was abuzz with activity: the paladins, the MFE squadron, and a discrete but still visible flow of supplies and personnel into the Atlas.

“I feel like there’s a lot you’re not telling me, Shiro,” Keith frowned up at him as they stood there, in the center of it all. “You know I hate being lied to—”

“Keith—”

“—But, I trust that you have your reasons. For now. When I get back, you'd better be prepared to explain all of this.”

Shiro smiled at him. “God, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Get back safe.”

“You too,” Keith breathed. "I'll be expecting you."

Walking onto the Atlas’ bridge, Shiro found more than half of his crew: Coran at the Helm, Curtis on communications and radars. Iverson would be on his way in a minute to take weapons. Sam turned to him from the command platform, retracting the crystal array. The infinite mass crystal shimmered brightly as it disappeared into the floor. Sam saluted him.

“The bridge is yours, Captain,” Sam smiled.

“Thank you, Admiral,” Shiro saluted back with a glint in his eye. “Although, if you wouldn’t mind, for the time being we could use an engineer.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Do we have a full complement?”

“Iverson just posted new orders. We’ll have the crew that we need within ten minutes.”

“Okay. And I want Veronica on the bridge.”

“Sir,” Curtis replied, “she’s delivering Lance to base one.”

Shiro stopped short. He’d forgotten, that was another part of this he wanted to rewrite. Lance had run into some trouble calling the red lion; Lance and Veronica had been throne from their speeder, pinned down by ground patrols and at least one fighter. He couldn’t risk it. He felt the warm throb in his chest again.

He opened a channel from the Atlas to Lance and Veronica. “Hold on, you two. Change of plans.”

 _“What?”_ Lance questioned.

“In the time that Veronica can get you to base one by ground, the red lion can cross the solar system. There’s no reason to take that risk. Call Red to you here.”

_“Oh, wow. I guess when you put it that way...”_

“Veronica, I need you on the Atlas. We’re getting this ship off the ground.”

 _“The Atlas?”_ Lance shouted.

 _“Copy!”_ The excitement in Veronica’s voice was unmistakable.

Shiro opened a new channel to the entire mission team over comms. “Paladins, MFE Squadron: our window of opportunity is razor-thin. We’re ending this fight today. While you take out the cannons, we’re going to cut the head off the snake. Atlas is launching now, and we’re going to take Sendak down.”

There were murmurs of awe over the comms. Shiro could hear the smile in Keith’s voice when he replied. “Happy hunting, Shiro.”

“You too. With the element of surprise, we’ll have the advantage. Good luck.”

And with that, the MFE’s launched, and all five paladins got to work.

Coran cleared his throat. “Uh, Shiro? Are we really going to take down an entire Galra armada with one untested ship?”

“Yes, we are, Coran. As soon as Iverson is on board, initiate launch sequence. I want this ship airborne by the time the lions arrive.”

“Yes, Captain.”

Shiro closed his eyes. He felt for her, for the presence he’d felt humming to life last time, when he thought all hope was lost. The Atlas. He’d missed it before, until the hum of her energy was shaking his eardrums. But this time he knew just what to look for.

He felt her right away, not awake yet, but her very being throbbing with life. The Atlas was like an infant waiting to be born, about to take her first breath.

He heard the crew around him. Iverson was at his post, the launch sequence was well underway. The squadron was radio-silent as they delivered their defenders to the bases. Shiro could respond if any of them needed him, but they didn’t. He could give Atlas his full attention.

Shiro opened his mind to her. _You already know me,_ he thought. _We’re waiting for you, just as soon as you’re ready._

He thought about the Olkari. The Balmerans. The Alteans. All the incredible races they’d encountered who had learned to interface harmoniously with the beings all around them, benefiting richly but also giving themselves fully in a mutual exchange.

He could feel the Atlas stirring.

Shiro opened his heart to her. He pictured the paladins, each of them in turn. Hunk’s goodness, his warmth. He was a bridge-builder, generosity personified. And beneath that was a steadiness that was uniquely his own. His fierce love for his family, who were still in danger now.

_Please._

Lance’s spirit, the fire inside him. His utter dedication to the team. Where he used to boastful, a quieter confidence had emerged, born of experience and true friendship. Sometimes he still doubted whether he was enough, but he was. He gave them exactly what they needed—a dose of his dauntless hope.

_Please._

Pidge’s cleverness, their clarity and insight. They knew exactly who they were, and what mattered most. The way they let nothing stand in their way of finding their family—not a universe full of evil, or even Zarkon himself. The unwavering love shared between all the Holts. The way Colleen endured, never accepting that her family was gone.

_Please._

Allura’s perseverance, her strategy, and her courage in the face of a threat that she understood better than any of them. She’d lost everything, her family, her entire world, and yet she fought back every day to turn the tide. The gravity of the burden only seemed to make her stand taller.

_Please._

Keith’s love. There was so much to Keith, his terrific talents and gifts, but it all paled beside the ferocity with which he loved. He loved his teammates, his mother, his home planet where he’d never even felt welcome. He loved innocent people everywhere, would fight for them at whatever cost. And he loved Shiro like he wasn’t the broken, battered man he saw in the mirror; Keith loved him like he was brand new.

And when Keith fought for you with the force of his love, he was a blazing star. Nothing stood a chance in his path.

 _Please,_ Shiro thought. _Help me help them. I need you. I swear to you that if you help me, together we will keep them safe, and protect innocent beings across the universe._

Shiro felt her consciousness shimmering around him just before it flared to life. He inhaled sharply as she emerged in his mind, full of determination and pride. Shiro loved their ragtag family, and now Atlas did too.

“Sir, what is it?” It was Veronica. She’d heard him inhale sharply, turning in her seat with alarm.

Shiro smiled at her. “It’s the Atlas. She’s communicating with me.”

“Communicating?”

 _“Shiro!”_ Sam’s excited voice carried over the comms from engineering. _“You won’t believe what I’m seeing down here! This ship has gained abilities we never imagined!”_

“She can do more than we thought possible,” Shiro confirmed.

The Atlas was airborne, hovering over the Garrison within the particle barrier. “We’re almost ready. Iverson, get our particle barrier initialized; we’re going to be leaving the Garrison’s barrier soon. Where are the lions?”

“Four of the five paladins have reached their drop zones,” Curtis replied, “and the MFEs are on their way to the sixth base. Just waiting on Lance.”

 _“Shiro!”_ Lance panted. _“I’m not getting any response from Red. I don’t know if I’m even getting through.”_

“Stay calm, Lance. The red lion has always been temperamental. She won’t just heel. You have to show her what you’re fighting for. She’ll come.”

 _“Uh,”_ Lance’s voice wavered. _“Okay, I’ll keep trying.”_

Shiro thought he heard Veronica muttering to herself, “Come on, Lance. You can do it.”

 _“Everyone,”_ Keith called. _“Go for your targets now. It’s time.”_

Shiro listened as they began, dialed in for any sign of danger, any clues that the Galra might have a hidden hand to play. There were none. The installations were already starting to fall, one at a time.

There was still no red lion. What had happened? She came for Lance last time, what was different this time? Lance and Veronica had been in danger and she came just in the nick of time—

That was it. Red always came when there was trouble for her paladin. Not before.

“Lance,” Shiro opened a private channel from the Atlas bridge. “I think I messed this up. She won’t come for you if you’re not in danger.”

 _“Well that hardly seems fair,”_ Lance sniffed. His pretend pout masked a deeper hurt, Shiro knew. All Lance ever wanted was to be a valuable member of the team, and so often he ended up being the odd one out. _“What can I do?”_

“Is the wolf there?”

_“Kosmo? No- I mean, you know he’s never liked me much, right? Whoa!”_

Shiro laughed, feeling pretty confident that was the sound of the wolf’s arrival. “What are you talking about, he loves you!”

Suddenly Lance appeared on the bridge. Everyone looked startled, especially Lance, but Shiro expected it.

“Alright, go to the armory. You’re going to take EMP grenades and drop them off in cruiser control rooms.”

“How many?”

“Well, how many can you carry?”

There was a gleam in Lance’s eye again. "Enough said." He reached for the wolf and they were gone.

Galra cruisers were starting to fill the sky over the base. They’d had plenty of time to get riled over the lions’ and MFE’s attacks on the over bases, and had definitely taken notice that there was a new ship on the scene.

“I need a status on that shield,” Shiro called.

“Particle barrier coming online in three, two, one,” Iverson barked. It roared to life. A cheer went up around the bridge.

“Coran, get us out there!” The Garrison’s barrier parted for them and the ship roared out into the sky. “The Atlas is going for base one. Paladins, when you’ve finished with your targets and taken out any cruisers you can handle, form up here at HQ. We’re gonna need you.”

 _“Copy that, Shiro,”_ Keith’s voice responded. _“Base three is down. I’m headed back now. Lance, what’s your status?”_

 _“I’m making friends with Kosmo and about to take down some cruisers with EMPs. Apparently I wasn’t being reckless enough to get Red’s attention,”_ Lance mocked. Shiro chuckled.

 _“Alright, alright,”_ Keith huffed a laugh. _“Be careful out there. We need you in one piece.”_

 _“Roger that, team leader,”_ Lance laughed.

Shiro’s attention was on base one. He wasn’t ready to transform the ship, he needed to wait for his moment. But the cannon was being moved into position for launch, and they would be exposed to the ground cannon that was there to protect that launch. And they were taking fire from the cruisers above them.

“Iverson,” Shiro’s voice was steel, “as soon as you have the shot, fire at will.”

Iverson growled as he punched the controls, firing energy weapons more powerful than anything he’d ever had his hands on before. A second blistering shot soon followed.

“Coming about now,” Coran shouted.

They got in one more good shot before they had to maneuver to evade ever more blasts from above. This wasn’t going to work with all those cruisers in play.

“Lance?” Shiro hollered.

 _“Watch this!”_ he called back.

The cruiser on their twelve went offline, listing as it started to lose attitude control and plummet toward the surface. Then another at their ten, then three o’clock. It was awesome.

The black lion arrived on the scene, focusing on the base.

“Thank you, Lance! Now get back to the Atlas. The lions will take out the rest of the cruisers.”

Yellow and Blue arrived on the scene at almost the same time.

 _“Guys!”_ Hunk’s voice sounded desperate, _“What are you doing! Those ships are listing and there are innocent lives down there!”_ He was looking at the crowds of civilians fleeing.

 _“We’ll need to steer the cruisers to safer areas,”_ Keith shouted. _“Come on! Atlas, you have to finish the cannon.”_

“Copy,” Shiro replied. He felt Atlas’ attention shift to Lance. She was keeping an eye on him. Which was good, because he was pulling a stunt Shiro never expected. “Lance! What are you doing!”

_“I found Hunk’s family, I’ve gotta get them out of here!”_

_“Careful, Lance, there are more cruisers incoming!”_ Keith shouted. Shiro gulped as a swarm of them flashed around him. Keith was seeing the same thing. _“A lot more!”_

 _“I can’t just do nothing! Keith, it’s okay, I’ve got this,”_ Lance panted as he ran. Shiro could hear the buzz and rumble of blasters in the background of his channel.

 _“Be careful, Lance!”_ Allura cringed.

Green arrive on the scene, firing on the final cannon as they shot past in the direction of one of the listing cruisers. It was working, steering the ships away from the work camps below, but it was costing them critical time. They didn’t have the MFEs back in the fight yet; they were back in their bays, recharging as quickly as Atlas could muster.

Atlas was worried. Shiro was, too, and it was then that the ground cannon fired, hitting the Atlas’ particle barrier hard. “Shields down to 70 percent!” Veronica shouted. “We can’t take many more blasts like that!”

More cruisers were arriving.

“Paladins, as soon as those cruisers are clear, we need you back in this fight!”

 _“We’re trying!”_ Allura shouted. Hunk grunted, clearly pushing himself to the limit.

Just then, they heard Sendak’s voice. It was an open channel. _“Surrender the lions or you will all be destroyed.”_

Shiro couldn’t help but clap back. He punched the channel. “You will NEVER take Earth!”

_“You think you can take down my entire armada with only four lions, and one battleship! You will rue the day that you faced me in open combat, Champion. I will crush you beneath my heel.”_

Shiro growled, cutting the channel off. “Coran, come about! Iverson, blast a hole through that cannon before it can launch!”

And they did. Atlas diverted power to focus the beam, something even Shiro hadn’t seen. They melted a spectacular hole through the beam refraction chamber. The cannon was in ruins.

Cheers surrounded him, but Shiro wasn’t ready to celebrate. He had a mission. He was going to crush Sendak utterly.

“Coran, bring us up,” Shiro ordered. “Set coordinates for upper atmosphere.”

“Sendak’s ship?”

Shiro nodded. “Take us up right below it.”

They took another bad shot from the ground cannon even as they moved away; those ground cannons were designed to protect the Zaiforge cannons even when they were orbiting the planet, which meant they had serious range. Atlas’ particle barrier was holding, but it was now down to 40 percent, setting everyone’s nerves on edge.

 _“Paladins, the ground cannon. Now!”_ Keith shouted.

“What’s the plan?” Iverson shouted.

Shiro felt the corner of his mouth curl up as he let his eyes fall closed. “The Atlas has a little surprise for us.”

“Huh?” startled sounds bubbled up around the bridge, but Shiro wasn’t really listening. He was listening to Atlas. She was hoping with all her massive heart that she could help. _Yes_ , Shiro thought reverently. _It’s time._

“Atlas crew! Hold tight,” Shiro said. He heard Sam gasp over the comms, and knew exactly what he was seeing on his screens. Shiro’s mind filled with flashes of hers, her love for the fragile beings that put their lives on the line to put an end to tyranny. She felt it all at once, felt so deeply. A web of blue light tore over the surface of every bulkhead and corridor until the glow was enough to blind anyone who dared to look. Shiro felt her as she willed her body into a new form, like the one she had seen in Shiro’s mind: Voltron. She wanted to grow up to be just like that—the defender of the universe, and all that was precious within it.

“The energy we’re putting out is off the scale!” Veronica marveled.

“Shiro! Sendak's cruiser is right above us," Coran kept his eyes straight ahead. 

"We’re coming in hot!” Iverson yelled.

“RAH!” Shiro shouted as he punched Atlas’ fist through the bridge of Sendak’s ship.

“Direct hit!” Veronica shouted. “Cruiser disabled. They’re breaking up—” As she pulled away, the command cruiser came apart at the seams, bursting into shrapnel. Atlas whirred on the rest of the armada, surveying what remained.

 _“How did you...”_ Keith didn’t know where to start.

 _“Is that- the Atlas?”_ Pidge was incredulous. _“Oh my god, dad! That’s amazing!”_

“We’ve got you covered,” Shiro said.

 _“Lance!”_ Hunk shouted over the comms, sounding so relieved. _“You’ve got Red!"_

_“Yes! We’ve also got your whole family. Kosmo’s delivering them back to Garrison. Give me a minute.”_

_“Oh thank God, Lance!”_ Hunk shouted through tears.

 _“I’ll cover you!”_ Allura shouted.

 _“Everyone else,”_ Keith called, _“On those cruisers. Give them everything you’ve got. This is Earth!”_

 _“Woohoo!”_ Hunk shouted.

 _"Okay, I'm good!"_ Lance called. 

 _"Everyone, on me,"_ Keith shouted. _"Let's form Voltron!"_

Atlas' pride washed over Shiro then. He wished they could all feel it, the miracle of her. 

They wasted the rest of the armada. It wasn’t even a close battle. Some Galra turned tail and ran, saving their own skins, while most stayed to fight to the death. It didn’t take long.

_“We did it!”_

_“We won!”_

_“Earth is safe!”_

_“What’s that?”_ Pidge asked with a gasp. _“Oh no- Incoming!”_

 _No,_ Shiro thought. _Not yet. It’s- it’s too early. It isn’t fair._

The robeast emerged from the projectile pod and opened fire.

 

+

 

_“What is that thing?”_

_“Where did it come from?”_

_“I don’t know,”_ Keith growled, _“but we have to protect Earth. Let’s take it out!”_

“No, look out!” Shiro shouted over the comms as the robeast fired at Voltron, blasting them back hard. “Listen to me. Honerva sent it. It has the power of the komar. Do not let it get it’s blades on you!”

 _“Shiro, how do you know—”_ It was Lance.

“I don’t have time to explain!” Atlas was in his mind again, storming mad like a mother bear. She would not stand by while this new evil threatened the little courageous ones.

 _“Okay, Shiro,”_ Keith said plainly. Shiro knew from his tone that he was going to be in big trouble when this one was over. _When_ they made it back. He’d promised. _“Tell us what we need to do.”_

“Stay out of range,” Shiro gritted his teeth, “the Atlas will engage, occupying the beast and forcing it to fire. When it does, I need you to strike the opening in its chest. It’s the only place where it isn’t armored.”

 _“But that’s a split second window!”_ Allura shouted. _“How do we do that?”_

 _“Lance, it’s gonna be all you,”_ Keith said with calm confidence. _“We’re right behind you, Shiro.”_

 _"God, what is it doing?"_ Pidge yelled.  _“Oh no! It’s syphoning quintessence from Earth!”_

“Coran, get us in close range.” Shiro felt the Atlas lighting up again, bringing all her strength into the fight. She was young and new, but hell she was passionate.

The Atlas engaged. Just as before, the komar mech’s speed more than made up for it’s small size, and it’s outsize energy footprint made it a match even for the Atlas—with weapons that were frankly far more powerful. The Atlas was taking a beating, but when Voltron tried to exploit its one weakness, the strike though precise wasn’t powerful enough.

 _“Guys?”_ Lance said. _“Uh, it’s not working!”_

 _“We’ll have to keep trying!”_ Keith shouted. _“Coming about.”_

“Hostile returning for another pass!” Veronica’s voice quaked.

“Get me eyes on the target,” Shiro called. The room spun from the force of Atlas turning her massive frame. “Fire!”

The robeast reflected their attack back on them. The Atlas took a terrible hit, without even requiring the beast to fire—without giving Voltron another opening.

 _“Shiro, let us help!”_ Keith’s voice was starting to shake.

“We need to stick to the plan.” Shiro ground his teeth. “It’s the only way.” He heard Keith curse in frustration.

Having absorbed so much of the Earth’s and Atlas’ energy, the robeast started to project, making itself energetically many times larger than its physical form, matching Atlas in power and size. The mech pounded Atlas to her knees, and she couldn’t shove it off.

Voltron was firing at its back, trying to draw its fire.

“Keith! No!”

As the robeast tried to turn on Voltron, Atlas threw everything she had at the hostile, managing for a moment to grab onto it and yank it from the sky. Then Shiro felt the current run through all of Atlas, a shock so great that sparks flew from the controls and some of the crew were knocked back from their positions. Atlas dropped the mech as though her hands had been badly burned.

They were in bad shape. The bridge crew all made it back to their posts, but some were injured, and all were wearing thin. Atlas was reeling, power levels destabilized.

 _“Guys, my bayard port opened!”_ Lance was saying.

 _“Do it, Lance,”_ Keith groaned. _“It’s our only choice. Form Sword!”_

The robeast projected again, coming down colossally on Atlas’ back. For what seemed like minutes, Shiro could see nothing but white. Then it all went black.

 

+

 

When he came to, Shiro was sprawled on the command platform, his body shunted against the railing beneath the controls. His face felt wet and his eyes stung. Everything seemed too bright. He started coming to his knees.

“Captain!” Curtis was trying to help him, looking hard at what was probably a wound in his face. “You’re hurt.”

“Later. The lions, what’s their status?”

“They're okay,” Curtis said reassuringly. “They just defeated it.”

Shiro was anything but soothed. “We have to get that thing out of here!”

“We are offline, Captain,” Veronica called from her post. “The robeast is down—”

“The self-destruct on that thing can wipe out half of Earth!”

“What?” Iverson demanded.

“Get me communications, at least,” Shiro pleaded, his voice breaking. He was fighting down the panic.

“I’m trying,” Veronica called. “I’m not getting through.”

“The lions,” Coran said, “they’re on the move!”

_No._

_Atlas, please._ Shiro heard her pain. She felt his fear, and she was scared too. But even as he knew he was asking too much, he still had to try.

_It can’t end like this. They need us._

“Coran, you have to get us up there!”

“We can’t move at all, Captain!”

Static came rushing in over the comms, then a shaky signal. “I’m getting a signal, but it’s very weak,” Veronica shouted. Shiro’s heart dropped into his stomach as he heard the paladins straining. There were tense faces all around the bridge as each of them considered what the paladins were hell-bent on doing to save the world they called home. 

 _“Come on,”_ Keith grunted as they leaned hard into the task. _“Come on!”_

“Keith! KEITH!”

“They- they can’t hear you, sir,” Veronica apologized. “We’re not transmitting. Only receiving.” Shiro didn’t really hear her. He was busy reliving the terror of it.

_“It’s been an honor to fly with you all.”_

“NO!”

_“Now everyone, give it everything you've got!”_

 

+

 

Shiro was already running by the time the Black Lion streaked to the Earth. He remembered this part. He could do this part. It had been awful, but it had worked out okay.

Shiro grabbed a field rescue kit, screaming for the wolf. Then Kosmo was there, and they were off. It took six jumps to reach Black, running every step that they weren’t teleporting. Shiro counted. The dust hadn’t even settled when they arrived.

Black lay limp on her side like a carcass in the desert sun. He knew better than to try and get her to open her mouth for him; she was utterly spent. Kosmo warped them inside, sliding and listing against the bulkhead to his right a few meters behind the pilot’s chair. The wolf nosed at Shiro’s back, urging him forward.

He remembered how cold it had been inside, the inside of the ship thinking nothing of the punishing heat outside. He expected it, but still the chill ran through him like a knife, his nerves frayed. Shiro couldn’t make Keith out for the gloom, the space disorienting and hard to navigate at this unnatural angle. He looked for what he expected, Keith’s body dangling unconscious over the side of the pilot’s chair, but he couldn’t see him.

“Keith?” Shiro asked, knowing already there would be no answer. He was already firing his jetpack to get over there. “I’m coming.”

Shiro’s heart stopped when he caught sight of him crumpled against the bulkhead under the controls. He’d been thrown clear of his chair, coming to rest in a heap, his spine twisted. Keith’s arms hung loose, palms up and fingers curled. His helmet’s visor was up, his sightless eyes partially open. The metal protecting his brow bore a vicious dent. The helmet had slipped part-way off, exposing a deep, pink wound from the impact. His skull was visible... he couldn't breathe.

Last time, there was just so much blood. Not this time. This was somehow worse.

“No,” Shiro cried. “Baby, please.” Shiro realized he had no plan for this. Last time he could carry him, and Kosmo had gotten them out to meet the emergency crew that would be arriving within minutes. He’d handled the extraction, speeding up the rescue, applying pressure to the nasty head wound. But this was all different. Keith’s spine… the room spun.

“Please don’t do this to me,” Shiro sobbed. Carefully, so carefully, he supported his head and slid the helmet away from where it was dangling at his temples, finding the pool of blood and pulp at the back of his head. Keith’s long hair was matted with gore, smearing across Shiro’s mech hand. Shiro lost vision for a second.

Last time, Keith was dying when he found him. Not this time.

This time he was already dead.

“No, it’s not possible," he settled him against the bulkhead, caressing his face with his bare fingertips, his hand trembling out of control. "I can’t accept this. We- we did everything right. There’s no reason for this...” Shiro felt the _kire_ tremble in his hammering chest.

“Unless—“ White-hot horror flooded his mind.

Shiro tore his uniform open in a blind rage. He was clawing at the stone, ripping into his own flesh. He didn’t even flinch.

“YOU did this. You’re punishing us. Why? For what? For daring to love each other?”

His skin tore easily from the force of his hard mech fingers. He gripped the edges of the _kire_ and started to rip, as though he could pull it free. He felt as though his ribs would crack but he couldn’t wrench it from his chest.

He started pounding on the artifact with all the power of his mech fist. He wanted to shatter it, destroy it for good.

It didn’t matter if he died. He didn’t want to live in this world without Keith.

The stone shone on, impassive, uncaring, even as several of his ribs cracked.

The wolf howled from the anteroom. The medical crew had arrived, and Kosmo was bringing them inside. Last time, Shiro had carried Keith out to them. This time Keith was dead and instead he lost his mind.

Two physicians scrambled into the cockpit to extract its pilot, finding Shiro there in a roiling panic, a danger to himself and others. He vaguely felt them pulling at him to put Keith down, to let them work. He couldn’t let go. Shiro folded himself into Keith’s chest and sobbed.

“I will never let you go.”

Reality shimmered then collapsed, and Shiro couldn’t find it in him to care.

 

+++


	4. Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna just mention that I went back and smoothed over inconsistencies in the first three chapters, having finally made up my mind about how a few things are gonna go down. :D I'm very excited for what's coming up. 
> 
> Warnings: the last chapter ended with violence and gore. In the opening here, I sum up what happened plot-wise but made it a lot more detached, in case you chose to skip that part. There's a very brief, sexually explicit flashback, and some 'caught masturbating' mortification in this one. Oh, and swearing, because... frustration. MOOD.

+++

 

Last time, Keith was dying when Shiro found him. Not this time.

This time he was already dead.

The medical crew arrived on the scene in mere minutes to extract the black lion’s pilot, finding not one patient but two. Commander Shirogane was raving and covered in gore—whose, it was anyone's guess. They’d have to sedate the man for transport just to keep him from injuring himself further.

Shiro in his grief blocked them all out. All he could hear was the blood pounding in his veins, horror all he could feel. 

“I will never let you go,” he sobbed even as he felt the syringe in his neck.

This time when his atoms came spinning apart, Shiro hardly noticed.

 

+

 

Shiro gasped awake in a dark room. He woke with dry eyes, but as his body was wracked with ugly sobs the tears caught up. He rolled onto his side, clutching his knees to his chest. He’d never felt so ruined.

He wanted to lie to himself, that he was waking up from a nightmare too terrible to speak aloud, but he knew too well that wasn’t what this was. Waking up free and safe just wasn’t in the cards.

That Keith’s fate was tied to his had always seemed a given, and had for so long seemed right to him. Until now. Now it just didn’t seem fair.

He couldn’t help feeling that he’d somehow cursed the man he loved.

Shiro’s head throbbed as his body shuddered with sobs. He thought murkily that his arm must be numb against the thin mattress beneath him. No, that arm was gone, he remembered as he shifted. This was the cargo hold of the black lion, a cramped room they’d converted to sleeping space for the journey back to Earth.

Shiro wondered vaguely how he was ever supposed to get any sleep when he kept waking up moments after one crisis to face the next. He felt bone-tired in a way that he hadn’t in years. Not since the arena. No, worse even than that.

He distantly felt the pain shooting into his neck and down his side, coming from the joint where _he_ ended and the Galra tech began. This body was trying to heal, still reeling from the loss of those inputs past the shoulder, from the sputtering, broken tech that remained wired into his nervous system. Not to mention the damage done to his tissues when Honerva had pushed this body past its limits, supercharging Kuron with quintessence to ensure he could finish the job.

 _Keith_.

Keith would die again, and it would be his fault. Dangers they had escaped would now claim him, because Shiro destroyed everything he touched.

And it would always be Keith he hurt the worst, like a moth to a flame. The witch had said it herself.

_The Red Paladin’s connection to you runs deep. Deeper than the others._

_You will exploit this weakness._

Shiro could feel the cold vibration of the _kire_ in his chest, imagined it transforming this body into a blade destined to cut Keith’s life short. Well, he thought bitterly, he refused to have any part of it. If the _kire_ wanted to destroy him, it would have to do so without his help.

He imagined it turning him to stone so he could feel no pain.

If only.

A wretched sound escaped his lips as more tears fell.

That was when he felt the hand on his back in the dark. He flinched in surprise and maybe shame, but not fear; he knew in his heart who was there.

“Shiro,” Keith spoke barely above a whisper, his tone soothing as he touched his back again. Shiro’s breath caught in his throat but his shoulders still shook.

“What’s wrong? Nightmares?” Keith was unsettled, though he tried not to let on. “Are you in pain?”

Shiro bawled, unable to stop. He gasped for air. “I’m sorry,” he said. He was seeing Keith’s half-open eyes in the cage of his memory, the horror so fresh he quaked with it. “I’m s- so sorry...”

Keith squeezed himself onto the narrow sleeping pad behind him, tucking his waist and thighs around Shiro’s hips, their bodies curving to meet. Keith reached around his body, to lay a hand over his heart perhaps, but Shiro’s grip on his wrist was like a vice. He couldn’t risk that he might discover the alien artifact maring his flesh. He couldn't know. Instead, he pressed Keith’s hand into his belly, interlacing their fingers to hold him fast. Keith tensed for a moment at the roughness of his grip, but relaxed into him again again, letting him lead.

As Keith nestled his cheek against Shiro’s mid back, a small, surprised sound like a moan bubbled out of him, still choked with tears. God, he needed this so much. Just to feel Keith breathing.

“It’s okay, Shiro. It’s okay. Please, try to rest. I’ll stay right here.”

He wept until he was spent and sleep finally claimed him.

 

+

 

Shiro didn’t know how long he’d been out. When he opened his eyes there was a low light on in the cargo hold and he was alone there. He checked the date, finding it to be an uneventful one in his memory, but he couldn’t be sure how much time had passed since Keith held him while he cried. It could have been hours, or days.

He’d have to ask to find out, and his curiosity wouldn’t propel him that far.

And what did it matter, anyway? It would probably be best if he never woke up again, he thought darkly.

Shiro rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. His body hurt everywhere. He tried to stretch out his neck, turning his head side to side.

Shiro remembered sleeping a lot at the start of the journey to Earth, filling quite a few uneventful days by sifting through his memories—his, and Kuron’s, a melding of minds that unsettled him and left him wondering where he ended and the clone of himself began. He remembered Keith trying to comfort him before, too, but his nightmares then were manageable quakes as compared to the tectonic events his soul had just endured.

After escaping from Zethrid and Ezor, they’d stopped a couple times for supplies, and during one of those Shiro had moved his things to the green lion, allegedly to give Keith and his mom more time together as a family. Not that Keith believed that. The atmosphere with Keith had gotten tense, that was true, after days flowed into weeks with them never speaking of what happened at that facility.

_I’m not leaving here without you._

_I’m not giving up on you._

_I love you._

Shiro had hoped the distance would be good for them both, not being sure what else to try. Keith would assume this was what he needed to cope, and he would let him.

What he didn’t say then was how he had been slipping into astral projection while riding in Black, struggling to stay grounded in this body that he still wasn’t sure was his. He didn’t feel… integrated. The sensations, they felt like they were happening to someone else. He’d done one-arm pushups until he buckled under the strain, pushing his body hard until he was full with the ache of exhaustion. It wasn’t enough. The green lion had felt like a safety measure; it would be too easy to forget that he had a body and just not come back.

Shiro wondered how soon he could move to the green lion without disrupting the timeline. More than ever, he needed to stay far away from Keith.

Clearly, that was going to take some doing. But he had to be committed, for Keith’s sake.

Shiro closed his eyes, letting himself feel it: the way Keith held him. How he’d pressed his face against Shiro’s back as though he knew that Shiro needed to feel him breathing, to feel the beat of his heart against his spine. Keith couldn’t know what he was going through—probably had decent guesses, though this time they’d be wrong—but then it hadn’t mattered that he didn’t know. Shiro marveled at the way Keith offered himself without hesitation to be whatever he might need.

And he had needed him. Those minutes had probably saved him. It was the only solace he could hope for: the proof of each passing minute that Keith was alive, breathing in and out. Shiro had forgiven himself for accepting that gift.

But that was where it had to stop.

If this was a curse, he had to keep the stain of it away from the person he loved most. It could wreck Shiro’s life, whatever that was worth, but he would not let Keith be hurt by this again.

Whatever happened, he had to play this one straight. No ‘fixing’ the timeline, unless it risked giving Honerva the _kire_. No matter what they face, they would have to solve it without him, the old-fashioned way. And why not? They were a remarkable team. If it was enough before, it would be enough again.

More importantly, there would be no getting entangled in Keith’s life. No sweeping him up in his arms, breathing in his scent. No confessions of long-denied feelings, the surge of answering joy as Keith, too, lays his heart bare. No brushing his face with soft fingers. No falling into the midnight pools of his eyes and tasting his breath just before they kiss that first time.

Clearly, this was going to take some work.

He had to put up a wall, and defend it like Keith’s life depended on it.

It probably did.

 

+

 

Keith kept to the cockpit with Krolia much of the day. The two of them led the team through a couple of training simulations in open space, with Shiro listening in over the comms. Some of the scenarios were pretty interesting, even if Shiro had heard them once before. He found himself noticing different things. Pidge had a broad eye for strategy, but Lance too was surprisingly quick with clever ideas. Keith was showing the kind of leader he’d become, helping the team form up around him, letting it happen, giving them his trust.

It was a relief in a lot of ways, feeling that they didn’t really need him anymore.

They were bound for a nearby planet to scout for supplies. Right on schedule, Shiro thought. He had already organized his few things so he could move to the green lion with as little fuss as possible. Now he just had to broach the subject at the right moment.

The planet had a breathable atmosphere, thick with vegetation. It was the jackpot of unknown worlds, in a way, though it wasn’t exactly hospitable on this particular day. Sheets of rain, warm but just as wet, were falling all over the massive continent where they landed. What looked like a clearing was quickly becoming a bog, but it was a decent place to land with proximity to woodlands and promising water sources.

When Shiro finally saw Keith again, he was in the anteroom behind the cockpit getting ready to scout a perimeter with Krolia. He wore his Blade gear in case they encountered any trouble; it was more discreet than his paladin armor, easier to slink into the shadows and make a clean getaway.

Shiro felt it as the black lion settled her chin on the ground, entry bay coming open, rain sheeting into the small space in moments. He looked across the way as Keith walked towards him, meeting his eyes.

Shiro tried to smile at him kindly without giving away too much. _You can do this_ , he told himself. _Just an olive branch, not a wedding ring._

The look Keith gave him could hardly be called a smile—it rarely could—but it was warm, open and self-assured. Shiro felt himself breathe a little easier as Keith passed by without a word, adjusting his hood and activating his mask. Then he was gone out into the gloom.

The rest of the team had an open channel, working out roles scouting for food stores and supplies, treating water, and handling some general repairs. They grumbled about the rain, but all fell in line. Shiro asked how he could help, knowing they would insist that he hang back and rest instead. During the last journey it had been disheartening most of the time, feeling like he was dead weight, like he couldn’t help, like he didn’t have a role anymore. He had hated feeling expendable, but for once he wouldn’t have it any other way.

The channel quieted down after a while. Shiro thought this would be a good time to jump down and find Pidge about alternate cabin arrangements. He was getting ready to open the hatch when the bay opened automatically. It was Keith returning from his patrol, his hood pushed back, shaking the rain from the tips of his hair. They’d worked particularly quickly; Keith looked invigorated and calm, with just a hint of color from the exercise. He was such a gorgeous sight, Shiro caught himself gaping.

He quickly shut his mouth, playing it off as best he could. “That was awful quick.”

“Yeah,” Keith huffed. “I think I just needed to move. Stretch my legs.”

Shiro felt the memory sneak up on him just as it began to unfold. As Keith accepted a hand up from Shiro, he slipped on the wet surface and slid right into him. Shiro caught him braced against his chest with one arm firmly at his back, finding their faces almost touching. Keith’s hands reached for him on instinct, gripping into his sides.

They’d both frozen, locked in place by dueling desire and fear of change. He thought he remembered Keith pulling away first, but maybe he had. Shiro recalled setting him on his feet. _Careful now_ , he’d said.

Not so this time. Keith’s eyes flew wide with some emotion he couldn’t read, then fluttered closed as he moved that last inch until their lips just barely touched. So tentative, it was more of a brush than a press. Shiro’s breath caught as he tensed in alarm.

It was everything Shiro wanted, and he couldn’t show it. He couldn’t let this happen. Warring with himself, he refused to kiss back. He summoned the will to lean away, finding a bit of breathing room as he set Keith on his feet and let him go.

“Keith. What are you doing?”

The look on Keith’s face was unbearable. “I thought—”

“What?”

“That you wanted to kiss me.”

Shiro steeled his nerves for the lie of his life. It had to be a good one; he needed Keith to believe it.

“Keith, I’m sorry,” he let the words fill with the regret he really felt, all the strain of this moment. “I- I just don’t see us that way.”

Keith looked confused, like he had miscalculated and couldn’t work out where. More than anything, he looked betrayed. Keith frowned at the floor. “Oh. Okay. I’m sorry, then. Just forget it.”

Shiro felt the air freezing over between them. It was necessary, it was dangerous to have anything else. But god it _hurt_.

“I was thinking of moving to the green lion for a while. Would you mind?”

Keith didn’t even look up at him. “No, uh, that’s… good. Whatever you need.”

Within moments, it was over. He’d already walked away. Shiro winced and let him go. It was for the best. Maybe this way, he could keep him safe.

Shiro went back for his things. He found Pidge under the green lion wearing the Olkari crown, working on their life-hacking skills with some of the local plantlife.

Pidge took one look at Shiro, the expression on his face and what he carried, and the green lion opened for him. He probably looked about as miserable as he felt, and Pidge wasn’t about to make him explain. He ducked inside without a word.

 

+

 

After that, Shiro hardly even heard Keith’s voice over the comms. He’d give direction when he needed to, and otherwise kept to himself.

He kept seeing the hurt on Keith’s face, and it wounded him every time. It was definitely for the best that they didn’t have to breathe the same air for a while.

Shiro got some sleep, but the nightmares were worse than they’d ever been. _Tearing your own heart out of your chest will do that to you_ , he thought. As the thought washed over him, he wasn’t sure anymore which heartache he even meant.

He woke panting from one particularly awful dream, sitting up in the low light to lean against the wall, hanging his head. He checked that the _kire_ was fully concealed in his clothing, then let his eyes droop closed. It dawned on him slowly that Keith’s lifeless form and his own gored chest were not the only images he remembered from the dream world—though those seemed burned behind his eyelids. He also dreamed of the steward. The mage appeared to be shouting something in his direction, voice lost in the astral void as though a strong wind carried it away.

“Did you guys have a fight or something?”

Shiro started but it was only Pidge, fishing for something in their sleeping corner across the room. He hadn’t even noticed them come in.

Shiro couldn’t summon the energy to lie or even evade. “Or something.”

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “Wow. That was… honest.” It stung that such a meager truth from him came as such a surprise, but he knew he deserved it. “What happened?”

He turned it over in his mind, finding nothing honest he could say that wouldn’t reveal too much. That was how it always was, somehow. _This is why no one really expects you to answer._

“It’s nothing, don’t worry. I guess I’m... just not feeling like myself.”

Their mouth scrunched up at the corner, chewing on this. “Sorry, Shiro.”

“It’ll be alright.”

“If you ever need anything, I hope you know you can talk to me.”

He tried to smile and knew he failed, but Pidge could see the effort. They nodded and retreated from the room.

He thought of the Atlas then, the way she hummed to life loving these friends who had become his family. He couldn’t accept that they would keep suffering while he bumbled through the timeline, bulldozing through the only lives they’d ever known, leaving destruction in his wake. It wasn’t just Keith, of course. It was all of them.

Shiro needed to find some answers.

If only he could go back and ask the steward. What else had be wanted to tell him before thrusting the artifact upon him? What was he trying to tell him in his dreams?

He would probably never know. But maybe there was more to learn about the artifact out there on the astral plane. He seemed to have nothing but time.

Shiro crossed his legs, grounding himself in meditation.

He let the lion fall away and found himself soaring.

The black of the void was all around him, studded with the violet haze of the starfield that receded toward an imagined horizon in all directions.

Shiro knew it so well he didn’t struggle for his bearings. He knew there was no _there_ there; the horizon was just his mind creating an illusion of place in which he could exist.

The same was true of his body, an afterimage his mind conjured of his remembered self. Except now his form gleamed aquamarine, crystalline and cold like the _kire_ in the waking world. Looking down, he saw the artifact—not fused into his chest but rather more like an amulet should be, settled around his neck on a glistening chain.

 _Is this what I am, now?_   Shiro thought.

“You are many things,” came the reply.

Shiro started, looking up to see the steward standing not far from him. This time the mage appeared in living color, robes in green and gold, hair brilliant white and complexion a warm mid-tone with blue Altean marks at the corners of olive-shaped eyes.

Shiro’s mind reeled. Yes, he’d seen the steward in his dream. Also for a moment on the Garrison’s operating table, he realized, but he thought for sure that had been a hallucination from the pain. But here he really was.

“You!” Shiro all but shouted. “I- I thought you were gone!”

“I was gone then, but I’m not now.”

Shiro’s brow creased. “Is that how time works?”

“Not really,” the mage shrugged. “But does the nature of time truly interest you?”

Shiro shook his head. “No. I need to know what’s happening to me. What I’m seeing… Is it- real?”

“It is not an illusion, if that is what you mean,” the mage squinted at him. “You ask deep questions for one so young. As far as your concept of reality is concerned, I will assure you that what you experience is very much real.”

Shiro shut his eyes against the threat of tears. Not that he expected anything different, but somewhere in his private heart he yearned for solace that simple and clean. It would never come.

He clutched at the _kire_. “Can I use it deliberately? Decide where to go in the timeline?”

“You are.”

Shiro froze, meeting the steward’s eyes. “But no. No, that’s just it! I’m not. I didn’t choose any of this. It just- happens.”

“The mind doesn’t choose. The heart does,” the steward said simply. He studied him. “There is something that you regret.”

Shiro choked back a bitter laugh, producing instead a strained sigh. “Uh… you’re gonna have to narrow that down for me.”

The steward looked annoyed. “Something you did or said, or never said. A missed opportunity. Your heart wants to try again.”

Shiro thought. “Okay, yes. I wanted things to be different with Keith.”

The steward nodded.

“But- but going back didn’t help anything! I told him how I felt. I loved him, damn it! And I moved heaven and earth to protect him. No matter what I do, it ends in ruin.”

“Regret is perilous. One can’t ever go back, not really. You are always moving forward instead. It has all happened already. You must make peace with this.”

“But… you said everything that happened- it’s all real. If I move forward in time, then he’s already dead,” Shiro’s voice broke then. “How- how can I save him, how am I supposed to _love_ him, if I’ve already lost him?”

“You can’t let the fear take root in your heart. The _kire_ is bound to embolden whatever it finds there. Be as water; feel your way, and you will find your path.”

“I- I don’t know how to do that,” Shiro groaned. “How do I control where it takes me?”

“Control,” the steward chided, “is a bedtime story we tell children so they can sleep at night. Even one such as you cannot chart all the ways of the heart. You came back for love, is that so?”

Shiro found himself nodding.

“So... love.”

Shiro felt rage spike in his chest. “How can you say that to me?” he snapped. “Is that some kind of cruel joke?”

“I didn’t say it would be easy.”

“What kind of curse is this?” he howled.

“One of your own making, I am afraid.”

Shiro’s blood ran cold.

_I knew it._

_It’s my fault._

“There you go, thinking you understand when you do not.”

“Then explain it to me!” Shiro screamed.

The mage looked past him then, eyes alert. They seemed to sniff the air, then grabbed Shiro by the collar and _pulled_. The stars blurred for several moments.

“Do you know you’re being followed?”

“What? No!” Shiro looked around, startled and dizzy.

“If you are to keep the _kire_ safe, you must steer clear of this realm. The dark one may yet find your vibration. You must leave.”

Shiro grabbed the mage by the shoulder. “You have to answer me! How can I stop this?”

The steward shook him off. “Good heavens, man! You can't. It is already set in motion. It happened before, and it will happen again.”

“It's not fair.” Shiro cried. “I won’t help. I won’t have any part of this.”

The mage raised an eyebrow. “You can't protect him from the truth. He awaits your arrival like the ocean awaits a rushing mountain stream. He sees you coming, however you may twist and turn. The encounter is inevitable.”

“No!” Shiro fell to his knees, his hand making a fist over the _kire_ and his heart. “Please. Please, take me instead.”

“So self-sacrificing,” the steward tsked, “both of you.”

“I mean it,” Shiro’s voice shook.

“I know you do. Shiro, I am sorry. That is not how it works. This is your charge, your destiny. Now you must learn to trust.”

“How? _HOW?”_

“You must put your faith in each other.”

The steward raised his hands, then, making a gesture like a _push_ and then everything was a blur. Vertigo gripped Shiro like a vice as he felt himself flailing through that boundless dimension, tumbling end over end. He was out of control.

Shiro remembered this was only his astral self. He had a body; he just had to find it. He reached for it desperately, feeling dangerously unmoored. Then he felt it, the vibration like a beacon that led home. He _pulled_. He felt his body settle around him, or perhaps the reverse. He felt something rumble like a purr in the middle distance.

He opened his eyes, immediately feeling sick, disoriented in more ways than one. He scrambled from his seat on the bed pad on top of some crates and reached for the first thing he found, throwing up in an old food goo container. _Ugh_. He sealed it and set it down. It was then that he heard the wolf whine.

The wolf was staring at him, standing a little ways off from where he had been meditating. Blinking past nauseous tears, Shiro realized part of why he was disoriented. He wasn’t where he expected to be at all. This wasn’t the green lion anymore; that was Black he had heard purring. He was sitting in Keith’s bed, not his own.

Shiro was aghast, glaring at the wolf. “Traitor.”

The wolf huffed in his direction, still watching him warily before walking away.

 _Thanks for nothing_ , Shiro thought viciously.

 

+

 

This was a new wrinkle he never expected. Shiro took a minute to clean himself up, and then tried not to sneak up on the cockpit too quietly. Being that he wasn’t even supposed to be on board, the last thing he needed was to be mistaken for an intruder. Krolia was in the cockpit standing over Keith’s shoulder while he piloted. When Shiro took a step into the hall, Krolia turned to look at him immediately.

“Shiro?” she said, sounding surprised. Keith turned and met his eyes, but didn’t look half as surprised as she was. He turned back to his controls.

“Yeah it’s just me. Hey, Keith? I think your wolf brought me over here while I was meditating. Do you think you can get him to send me back? I don’t even have my gear with me here.”

Keith’s voice was even. “Sure, just a second.”

Krolia stood and walked past Shiro toward the cargo hold. She scrutinized him as she passed, and from the look on her face, he’d guess that he was found wanting. He didn’t blame her; she should be protective of Keith. Keith was going to need her.

Keith called the wolf, who appeared by his side. He combed his fingers through clumps of silver-blue fur, scratching lovingly behind the wolf’s enormous ears. Shiro approached the cockpit cautiously, about as cautious not to intrude on their moment as he was wary of being near Keith in the first place. Shiro just wanted to get this over with for both of their sake.

“Shiro, it’s okay. I’m not gonna bite you,” Keith said, clearly annoyed at his tentativeness. _Okay_ , Shiro thought, _try to act normal_. But what was normal? He couldn’t even remember. He preferred their new normal, their love, to the careful truce they’d figured out once upon a time.

Keith’s hand in the wolf’s fur fell still. Thinking, maybe listening. “Come on, boy. What’s up?” Keith coaxed softly.

More silence.

It dawned on Shiro then that Keith was having trouble convincing the wolf to send him back. He could hear Keith’s teeth grind, his veneer of calm starting to crack.

“Dammit, don’t you start too—” Keith cut himself off.

Shiro felt the regret course through his whole body. He ached to talk to him, but bit his tongue. _I can’t fix this, no matter how much it hurts._ The consequences of all his timeline meddling have been catastrophic. Unforgivable.

_It’s all my fault._

Suddenly, Keith’s eyes were on him. “What?”

Shiro rocked back on his heels, startled. “I- I didn’t say anything.”

Keith glared at him for a moment, then back at the wolf who was now laying down in some kind of protest. “Well, you might have to ride with us for a little while. I don’t know what his problem is,” he muttered over his shoulder.

Shiro swallowed. “Hey, don’t worry about it. Really. I’ll just be in the back for a while,” Shiro said quietly, careful that there were no barbs in his voice. He turned to leave.

“Go ahead, run away,” Keith bit out under his breath.

Shiro pretended not to hear.

 

+

 

The wolf was still refusing to teleport him to the green lion, but apparently he didn’t mind moving Krolia so there would at least be enough beds for everyone. Shiro suspected conspiracy, but kept the thought to himself; it didn’t seem like Keith particularly wanted him there, either, so the accusation didn’t seem fair.

Shiro fell into meditation twice more, seeking the steward each time. Try as he might, he couldn’t find the mage now. It was pretty clear they didn’t want to be found.

There was another presence, however. A dark one like what the steward had warned him about. It seemed to be seeking him. No, seeking the _kire_. More than once Shiro found himself fleeing the presence of a power-hungry mind.

Maybe the steward was right, that it wasn’t wise to spend so much time there. He pulled back from the astral realm in defeat.

He felt frustration deep in his bones. It was tinged with fear, exhaustion, and the torment of longing. Mostly, he just needed something to do. He wanted to run, to fly, to fight, to flee—anything, really. Anything to distract him from the heartache that settled in all around him when he sat still and let his heart feel.

_I thought you wanted to kiss me._

Keith saw right through him. And why wouldn’t he? There was no one in the universe who knew him as well.

He was such a monster for wanting it, that kiss that led inevitably to pain and death. But he couldn’t deny that he did.

The way his hands gripped Shiro’s sides, anchoring them together in that moment.

The way his body met his, held firmly to his chest.

The way Keith’s lips felt, just a brush of them, his breath sweet.

It would be the last kiss they’d ever share, if Shiro succeeded. And he had to.

Lights low, blanket in his lap, Shiro reached down and pressed his palm into the hard bulge at his crotch through the material of his suit. Maybe he could take the edge off himself. He could try.

His eyes fell closed as he stroked himself through the fabric. Other memories came, of Keith’s lips brushing his face, his neck, the muscles of his chest as he lowered himself to his knees that first time, towards his aching cock. He longed to feel his length moving against the soft pillow of Keith’s tongue.

Shiro heard a sharp breath.

Keith was standing in the doorway. Damn his quiet footsteps.

Damage control. Shiro’s hand froze and rested in his lap. It could be worse, he thought quickly. He was clothed, and he’d been moving beneath the thin blanket. That made it somewhat discreet, though nowhere near enough.

There was a long awkward beat where both men pretended they didn’t know exactly what is going on.

“I was just wondering if you wanted dinner,” Keith said. “Hunk’s asking. Seemed like you’d turned off your communicator.”

“Uh, sorry. I was meditating. Before.” Shiro exhaled, trying to get a grip on his nerves. “Food would be… good. I’m, uh, sure I’ll be hungry later, at least.”

“Right. Okay.”

The silence between them was deafening.

“I could help, you know.”

“Help?”

“I could...” Keith fidgeted, heat rushing to his face. “I could- touch you, make you feel good, if you wanted.”

It punched him in the gut.

“No. No, I don’t need your help.” It came out with more bite than he wanted.

He wasn’t one to put down casual encounters, but he didn’t want Keith that way. He didn’t want Keith to see _them_ that way—to imagine that Shiro would fuck him but couldn’t love him. The thought of it filled him with horror and shame.

“You _do_ need my help,” Keith swiped back, taking a step into the room, “but if you want to pretend, that’s just fine.” The hurt in his voice pierced him just as much as the perceptive truth. Shiro felt frozen in his tracks. Then Keith sighed, stepping back against the wall, the fight going out of him completely. He leaned against the wall just by the door.

“Shiro… I didn’t mean to snap at you. I don’t want to fight. I’m... sorry you can’t just hide from me. I know it’d be easier on you if you could.”

Shiro frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Your... feelings.”

“What about them?”

Keith squirmed. “You know how I’m... sensitive to quintessence.”

“Uh. Yeah.”

“Well sometimes I can feel things from people.”

Shiro pondered this. “Like an empath.”

“I guess so.” Keith looked at the floor. “It’s really vague, though, most of the time. But you… for the last two days it’s been a like a thunderstorm. Heartbreak and fear and… rage.”

Shiro kept his mouth shut, not trusting what he might say.

“I haven’t felt all that since- since…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “Where is this coming from, Shiro?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’d been bottling it up or something. I had a lot of time to think in the void.”

Keith approached the bedside, really just a couple of crates with a mattress pad on top. He perched lightly on the farthest edge, giving Shiro plenty of room. It was the way you might approach a wounded animal. Not expecting gratitude, or even cooperation. Just hoping you can do some good.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think, too,” Keith said. “In the abyss. I saw us there.”

“Memories?”

“Yes, that. And- visions. Of possible futures. We watched them for two years.”

Shiro was struck dumb. All this time he’d felt like an aberration for his knowledge of the future, but Keith lived with what he’d seen every day.

“They came in waves,” Keith explained, “so many every day. Most were memories. That’s how my mom and I came to an… understanding. But we saw a lot of future moments, too. All of mine were about you.”

“Keith, I- I didn’t realize.”

“I didn’t even know you’d died, but I knew it didn’t have to end that way. I saw how it could be.”

Shiro tried to imagine what Keith could have seen, what he learned that spurred him on, kept him flying straight for him like a meteor on a collision course.

“Let me help you.”

“Not like that, Keith. We can’t do that.”

“But you want to,” Keith says. “I know you do.”

“No, I don’t,” he snapped.

“But you didn’t make an excuse. When you want to lie, you make excuses. You always have.”

Shiro scowled at him, but it didn’t help. He knew Keith wasn’t wrong. “Well, let’s just say you’ve got me a little off-guard at the moment.”

“I- I can feel it, Shiro. Your desire. Longing. If it’s not about me, fine, but it’s sucking all the air out of the black lion, and- I hate to see you so miserable.”

Shiro was speechless. _Not about me_. Shiro wondered how deep those wounds would go, and yet his words had missed their intended target. They had no effect on Keith’s kamikaze-like love for him, instead only killing off any hope it would be returned. It knocked the wind out of him.

“It wouldn’t be a big deal, okay?” Keith pleaded, his hand ghosting over Shiro’s knee. “You know I care about you. I’d do anything for you.”

Shiro shut his eyes. He couldn't look at Keith and say what he needed to say. “And what if I need you to let me go,” Shiro breathed, “will you do that?”

Keith’s eyes flew wide with panic. “Why, Shiro? What are you not telling me?” Keith reached for his chest then. Shiro batted his hand away with such vicious force, he was certain it would bruise terribly. Keith pulled back like he’d been burned.

“Dammit, Keith!” Shiro shouted, appalled with himself, the frustration in his voice fueled with shame. “I need you to hear me when I say no!”

Keith’s eyes went painfully wide. “I- I’m sorry,” he gulped. “I’m fucking this up. I’m really sorry,” he shot up from his seat, retreating fast.

“Keith.” He paused at the doorway, not turning around. It hurt so much, letting him believe what he would. But there was nothing he could say to soothe him that wouldn’t reopen the door that needed to stay closed.

Shiro swallowed, speaking softly. “Can you let me go?”

He watched as Keith reached up to touch his own cheek. Even looking away, Shiro knew exactly where his fingers grazed. “I meant what I said,” he said quietly. “I’ll love you. Even if you never will.”

Shiro felt tears sting his eyes. “Can you let me go anyway?”

His hand fell limp to his side. Shiro wasn't sure he'd ever seen the fight go out of Keith so completely, his fire flickering so low it almost extinguished itself.

“I’ll try.” Keith walked away.

 

+

 

There was some activity on the group channel, a transmission Pidge had picked up. Krolia recognized the old Blade of Marmora signal, tied to the veil of Kolivan’s ebbing life force.

He heard Keith saying, _“We’re going. If Kolivan is there, maybe there will be more blades. We need all the help we can get to reach Earth.”_

His tone brooked no argument; they would make for the distress signal. There they would face Macidus, the druid who had lured them in and then trapped them. If it weren’t for Allura’s way with quintessence, they may all have remained entranced by his spell.

Everyone but Keith. Thanks to his wolf, Keith would be left to face Macidus alone. And he’d done it—he’d defeated a druid single-handedly, a feat virtually unheard of, and Shiro had never figured out how.

Then again, Keith had a way with quintessence, too.

Shiro couldn’t stop turning over Keith’s words in his mind. _Sometimes I can feel things from people_. A sort of empath.

How could Shiro not have known something like this? How did his past keep turning out so differently then he remembered?

But, hadn’t it always been this way, really? Keith knew what he wanted before he did half the time. Keith knew when Shiro was holding back, whether he let him hide or forced him out into the open. Keith came to him when he needed him most, across the ship. Across the galaxy. Across dimensions. And it was Keith who came to him when Shiro had finally made up his mind.

The past was different because Shiro was different. Keith’s love changed him. The grief of losing him changed him. No matter how he fought to change nothing at all, he was all the change that was needed.

It was as hopeless as the steward said. _He sees you coming._

The thought was like a knife in his heart, the hopelessness of it.

Shiro thought gravely about just disappearing into space, but quickly discarded the idea. If he disappeared, Keith would never stop looking for him. Shiro knew that. And it wouldn’t be the first time Keith had found him even beyond the veil of death.

Shiro couldn’t leave because Keith wouldn’t let him.

He would give anything to keep Keith safe in this reality. He’d tear his own heart out, he‘d proven that, but that wasn’t enough. Here he’d aimed for Keith’s heart himself, and missed spectacularly. Yet Keith was strong enough to dissect his own heart if he had to. Or if Shiro asked it of him.

Like a coward, Shiro asked him to do just that. If he couldn’t do it himself, and Shiro needed it, Keith would see that it got done. 

All he had to do now was endure.

As they approached the ruined planet, he listened to Pidge’s voice over the comms.

_“The signal is coming from this planet. I’m detecting remnants of a civilization, but I don’t see any signs of life.”_

_“Is that a good or a bad sign?”_ Romelle asked.

Hunk made an anxious sound. _“In all of my space experience, there have never been any_ good _signs.”_

Shiro couldn’t help but agree with that summary.

 

+

 

“I still can’t tell exactly where the signal originates,” Pidge was saying as they studied their monitor readout while the rest of the team fanned out, Keith and Krolia leading, Hunk and Allura in the rear. Shiro and Romelle just tried to stay out of the way. “I’ll keep trying to triangulate its location.”

“The signs are all around us,” Krolia said. “There was a massacre here.”

Allura studied the marks left in the debris they passed. “Some of this damage looks like it’s from magic!”

Shiro saw bolts of dark energy tearing through Keith’s body and had to shut his eyes against the pain. He felt a hand on his shoulder and knew who it would be.

“Are you alright?” Keith said.

“I’m fine,” Shiro deflected, not meeting his eyes. “Everyone stay alert,” he called out.

By the time the wolf growled and tackled Macidus to the ground, Shiro was firmly on edge. Keith’s eyes kept flicking to Shiro, clearly tracking his mood, but when Shiro glared daggers at Macidus, Keith felt the message loud and clear.

“Good job,” Keith called to the wolf snarling at the druid’s exposed throat. “Who are you?” Keith demanded. “Who’s broadcasting the signal?”

“It was me,” Macidus replied weakly in a calculated move to gain their trust.

“Impossible! You’re no Blade of Marmora!”

“I will explain all,” Macidus quivered, “if you would put down your weapons.”

“Not a chance,” Keith snarled. “Start talking. Now.”

“Keith,” Krolia said. “Let’s see what he has to say.”

“He’s up to something, I can feel it,” Keith bit out. Krolia quit protesting.

“Gentle, gentle, I am old,” Macidus groaned. “You are strong for your size. But I wouldn’t expect less from the paladins of Voltron.”

“You- recognized us?” Lance scowled, his voice leery.

“Of course, of course, though- I am surprised to see you! All were certain you’d perished.”

“Cut the crap,” Keith dug the point of his blade into the imposter’s chestpiece. “You have three doboshes before this conversation ends the hard way. Who are you, and how did you get your hands on a Blade of Marmora signal?”

Shiro gritted his teeth while Macidus told his version of events. Just like the first time, there was enough truth to mask where it was laced with lies: the siege, the slaughter, the aftermath.

“I’ve been sending the signal Kolivan gave me ever since in the hopes of finding any remaining Blades.”

“And Kolivan?” Krolia cut in.

“He survived,” Macidus croaked out, ripping a gasp from the group. “Just barely.”

“Take us to Kolivan,” Keith ordered, his voice low and dangerous. “Now.”

“I will,” Macidus sighed, “I will take you to him.” Keith begrudgingly backed off of the stranger’s chest, and so did the wolf. He struggled to his feet, also a farce, but then instead of leading the way back to his lair, Macidus immediately dropped the device that would trap them.

Krolia saw it, screaming, “No!”

Keith and the wolf vanished before it hit the ground.

Shiro held his breath for the suffocating heat that would hold him fast until the fight was over, but when it enveloped the others, he felt nothing. He looked down and found himself giving off a crystalline blue glow as he had in the astral plane. The field of dark energy had no affect on him; he stumbled backward in shock until he stepped out of its sphere of influence.

Shiro turned and came face to face with Macidus not a meter away.

The druid narrowed his eyes, studying him. “It’s you.”

Shiro backed up.

“You have it. The Altean stone! Give it to me, or your friends will die.” Macidus held out his hand.

Shiro stepped into a fighting stance. “You’ll have to kill me first.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Macidus sneered.

Shiro smelled ozone and just as suddenly the wolf warped him away. They stood in some ruined building across the room from Keith. Keith tossed him the black paladin’s bayard. Shiro caught it with his left, and much to his surprise it responded to him instantly, forming an energy sword with a vambrace shield.

“But Keith, you’ll need this!”

“I have my blade,” Keith replied. “Who is that guy?”

Shiro hesitated, but Keith glared at him sharply, closing the distance between them. This was already happening all wrong, so what was the use of fighting it? “The last of the druids. You fought him before; he burned your hand.”

“I never told you about that!” Keith shouted. “Fuck, I knew you were up to something—”

“Nevermind. We have to focus,” Shiro chastised. “I- I’ve never fought with one arm before.”

Keith smirked at him then. “Good thing you’re a badass, then,” he quipped, his mood inexplicably brightening. “Tight formation, you on my left. Stick close to me and the wolf.”

“Got it.”

Macidus appeared then, and although they both took defensive stances, the wolf warped them away before they exchanged any blows.

There ensued an elaborate game of cat and mouse, where they would run and dodge and teleport as a unit as Macidus pursued them. After a few solid tries, Shiro found himself using the bayard quite well on his left, all things considered. But he still felt like a liability. Keith was taking all kinds of risks to keep him safe.

“Keith, careful!”

“I’m fine, Shiro.”

“You can’t risk yourself for me!”

“Hello! Have you met me?”

Shiro groaned. This was the problem.

The teleportation was starting to mess with his head, or at least Shiro thought that was what it was. In every jump, Shiro would see flashes of the starfield and the _kire_ -blue glow of his astral form. He was starting to see flashes of Keith there, too, and then of the wolf. And then a dark, formless presence that left him in dread.

The dark mind seeking the _kire_ , lurking nearby—had it been Macidus all along?

“Keith, are you seeing this?” he panted.

“Yes,” Keith frowned, concentrating.

Shiro wanted to explain what he could, but there was no time. Macidus cackled at them from where he stood meters away in the ruined building. “There is no escape but death!” Macidus threatened. 

“Try me,” Keith drawled. It struck a little too close to home, in truth, but Shiro knew the druid was addressing him this time.

“Give me the stone!”

Keith shot Shiro a look that alone could kill.

The druid struck out at Keith with his energy bolt, but the wolf whisked him away. Shiro was out of range and was left behind. He silently thanked the wolf, at least, for keeping his priorities straight. Someone had to focus on getting Keith out of here in one piece.

Shiro feinted left then rolled right, striking up at their assailant’s legs and forcing him to vanish. Shiro felt his astral self then, saw the next attack before it happened. It was as though he saw it as the druid thought it. Shiro dodged and countered, finally forcing Macidus on the defensive, retreating. Shiro flew through the astral dimension, seeking Keith’s pattern. He found him, forcing Macidus back into hiding. When he opened his eyes, he had materialized next to where Keith stood. The wolf was out of reach.

“Whoa,” Keith breathed. “Th- that was new.”

“It’s the astral plane- I had no idea that was the key to teleportation!” Shiro shouted with excitement. He looked at Keith. “You felt it, right? When he’s about to strike?”

“I- I think so. Yes.”

“Good. You and me, then. Let’s finish this,” Shiro grinned.

Although Macidus was still a brutal opponent, he lost his edge facing Keith and Shiro as a team. Shiro fought with his left like he’s never fought before, feeling Macidus’ moves before he makes them. He’s fighting with his eyes closed now, feeling with all of his astral senses. Keith is there, too. Shiro feels his movement, his thrumming heart, the fierce love that fuels him.

The fight blurs. They are everywhere at once, that realm and this one. There are close calls, numerous near-misses, but they are winning. Together, united in body and spirit, they outmatch him.

Shiro felt some energy ripple through them as his blade and Keith’s met in Macidus’ chest. The druid groaned before he vanished into a rain of energy motes.

The starfield surrounded them again. Keith was looking at him wide-eyed, like he just found the answer to a riddle.

“Keith,” Shiro breathed.

Keith smiled. “You do love me. I- I can feel you.”

Shiro is suddenly right there, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “I do. I’m so sorry. I was afraid—”

“Don’t be,” Keith replied, awe in his face. “I can feel everything now.” Then his expression changed. “Just in time.”

Shiro felt a chill. “What? Why—”

“Danger.”

“Where—”

He felt it, more with his mind than his body, the explosion that tore through their flesh and bones. A landmine from a forgotten war, so close that it vaporized them. They were severed there.

Keith sagged in his arms.

“NO!”

“It’s okay, Shiro,” Keith rasped out, his voice hardly above a whisper.

“No, no it’s not. It’s not okay,” Shiro cried. “I wish I didn’t love you. Then this wouldn’t keep happening. Then you’d be allowed to live.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’m cursed. I’ve cursed you.”

Keith’s astral form touched his face. “That’s not true. You can decide.”

“Decide what?”

“When love is enough.”

Keith’s form was fading, his outline starting to flicker.

“I- I don’t know what that means!”

Keith was almost gone. “Come find me.”

“I will,” Shiro pressed their faces together, crying, until he was gone.

 

+++


	5. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this one a long time. Too long. But I still love this fic and I'm not stopping. 
> 
> I decided to break this chapter into two because it was a bit unwieldy. As such, the fun explicit sex scene I wrote is now in the next chapter, and this one is all PLOT with canon-typical violence, dread and angst.

+++

 

For one perfect moment, Shiro felt Keith’s love surround him. He felt Keith’s wonder at being perfectly loved. When they touched, their lines blurred, soft against the violet hues of the astral void. Shiro held him, not with his hands but with his soul. Keith felt like the wind in canyons, the last warmth of a setting sun on evenings they’d once shared. As Keith peered up at him, eyes blown wide with starlight, his lips formed a gentle, knowing smile. 

And then the light went out. 

_“NO!”_

Keith slumped in his arms, his form shifting like sand. “It’s okay, Shiro,” he whispered, his voice weak and rasping. Keith was slipping through his fingers. Shiro clutched at him like it was his own heart he held in his hands. It was no different. 

“I’ve cursed you,” Shiro cried without the relief of tears.

Keith’s hand flickered insubstantially as he reached for Shiro’s face. “That’s not true,” he breathed, “you can decide. When love is enough.” 

As Keith’s fingers brushed his cheek, the light of him seemed to scatter on contact, dispersing like stars. Shiro couldn’t hang on to him. 

“Come find me,” Shiro heard as Keith faded away.  

Shiro knew he always would.

 

+

 

When Shiro woke inside a healing pod, he felt like he’d left something of himself behind. He still felt the brush of Keith’s soul against his, now absent. He felt the lack. 

His nerves were raw, the world sharp. The cool clarity of the astral plane felt far, far out of reach. Instead he felt too much heat, a kind of static coursing his insides. Shiro tried to make out the details of the room beyond the glass, disoriented in more ways than one. 

Opening the hatch, Shiro flinched at the bright lights. The splitting headache felt familiar in a way he struggled to place. Blinking through the pain, he knew this was the Castle of Lions, a med bay not far from the bridge. How far back he had come this time, he couldn’t tell. 

As much as his head throbbed, his heart trembled with hope. Keith said this could end, that he himself could end it. _Come find me_. 

Shiro braced himself to step out the of pod by reaching for the edge. He tried to rotate his grip and wrenched his shoulder unexpectedly. Looking down, his stomach lurched to find his old Galra-tech arm.

Of course. This was his body when they lived on the Castle ship. The arm partly explained the static in his nerves. 

He needed to check the date. If he was back on the Castle, he was either his old self again, or… or he was seeing through the eyes of his clone. 

Without thinking, his left hand reached for his chest, to feel for the _kire_ , to be sure of whether or not it was here, too, but he stopped himself cold. Honerva would already be in his mind, looking out through his eyes at this very moment. She had anticipated their every move, and now he had a pretty good idea of how she’d done it. It was something in the arm. 

He was the spy. Her secret weapon.

Honerva could no doubt see everything he saw, hear everything he and the team said, but could she know his thoughts? Not until she took him over, he hoped. And he would definitely know when that happened; he knew through the clone’s memories how excruciating that had been. 

They would have to do something about his arm. After it was locked down, Shiro could tell the team everything.

Shiro still couldn’t place _when_ this was. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d needed a healing pod while he was on the Castle. He staggered from the pod to the nearest console and tried to comm Keith. No response. He tried Allura next. He felt anxiety creeping into his chest as he opened a ship-wide comm. 

“Coran, are you there? Anyone?”

Coran’s voice rang out in reply. _“Shiro! Glad you’re up and about. How’s the headache?”_

Shiro scrunched his nose. “It’s.. fine. Where is Keith?” 

 _“Keith! He’s been gone with the Blades for over a phoeb now! Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”_  

Shiro hoped his silence conveyed that he was not in the mood to be coddled. 

_“Ahem- well, everyone else is here on the bridge, except Allura. We’re just waiting for her and Lotor to get back from the quintessence field.”_

“I’m on my way!” Shiro started for the bridge, halting when the klaxon sounded in the corridor all around him. The blaring horn grated against his red-hot nerves. 

 _“I’ve got an incoming craft!”_ Coran shouted over the comms. 

Pidge chimed in. _“Pulling it up on screen.”_

Coran sounded shaken. _“That- that can’t be! It’s an Altean pod! A really old one!”_  

 _“What’s it doing out here?”_ Lance asked.

 _“Attention Altean pod,”_ Pidge addressed the vessel. _“Identify yourself.”_

Shiro knew who was inside that pod from the first blare of the klaxon, all of it coming back to him in a rush. Keith’s voice floated over the comms from the open channel. _“Pidge, it’s Keith. Where’s Lotor?”_

Shiro felt something stir in his mind, a sick feeling like power coiling. It seemed to respond to Lotor’s name. Of course—she’s waiting. Shiro felt cold dread at the thought of Honerva’s control.

_“He’s in the quintessence field with Allura.”_

_“No!”_ Keith cursed. _“Meet me in the shuttle bay. I’ll explain everything.”_

Shiro was already halfway there.

 

+

 

Shiro stood in his full paladin armor, flanked by Lance and Hunk to his left, Pidge and Coran to his right. Keith put down the shuttle in a hurry and hopped down from the cockpit. The Blade of Marmora suit hugged his sculpted body tightly, almost straining across the width of his chest. For the first time, it occurred to Shiro that he’d nearly outgrown that suit during his two years in the abyss. From boy to man. 

Shiro felt the heat in his face. And unless the violet lights glowing dimly from the Blades suit we’re playing tricks with his eyes, he thought Keith looked a little bit flushed, too. 

He took a half step forward, unable to stop himself. “Keith! It- it’s so good to see you,” his emotions rioting. _I will protect him this time. Somehow. Keith will show me how._

Keith looked at him with a curious expression, eyes a bit wide. He opened his mouth to speak. 

“Hold on,” Lance cut in, “how do we know you’re the _real_ Keith, and not his bigger, cooler, grizzled older brother?” 

Keith growled with impatience, “I don’t have time for this, Lance.” He moved past him, stalking like a panther. Fierce, deadly. 

Lance’s suspicion melted away. “Hey everybody, Keith’s back!” he shouted with a surprised smile. 

Shiro might have laughed, honestly, if he hadn’t been so focused on protecting everything and everyone he’d ever loved. He would _not_ be going to Honerva’s cruiser this time, no matter what. He would not let her take him there. He would not bring Lotor to her—would not risk the _kire_ falling into her hands. And he would _not_ be made to lure Keith to a remote facility to face pain and almost certain death. 

Still ignoring Lance, Keith addressed the rest of them. “We need to stop Lotor.” 

Honerva’s power coiled in him again. Shiro felt her impulse like an intrusive thought. She wanted Lotor, and closed in on the thought of him like a serpent tightening its hold.

“He’s been lying to all of us,” Keith was saying. The team’s shock was palpable. 

Shiro swallowed. “I know.” _Here goes nothing._

Keith pulled up short, now as shocked as they rest of them. “You know what, exactly?” 

Romelle and Krolia were stepping out of the pod along with the wolf. 

“I know what you’re about to say, Keith. Krolia, Romelle,” Shiro gestured at each of them, “about the colony. It’s all true. They need to hear it. Only, before you tell that story, you need to lock me in the brig or this day is going to get much, much worse. You must do it now.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, what the hell, Shiro?” Hunk was reeling. Pidge was looking quickly between Keith and Shiro, baffled beyond words. Even Lance was speechless. 

Just then, lightning bolts of dark energy coursed through Shiro’s nerves, setting off alarms in his brain. He fell to his knees, clasping his head in pain. _Not yet, not yet!_

He heard the witch in his mind then, the force of her power buckling his knees. **_How dare you!_ ** She screamed. **_Give in to me now. You cannot resist me._ **

Shiro endured it. Though he quaked, he’d expected the searing, crackling pain—and now more than ever, he knew he could not let her win. If foreknowledge helped him resist, he couldn’t be sure, but for the moment he shoved Honerva back. 

The relief was heady for one precious moment as he willed his vision into focus, his breath coming in helpless gasps. Returning to himself, Shiro found that he’d collapsed to his knees, Keith’s hand firm on his back. Fear came coursing through his veins.

“Detention cell, now!” Shiro shouted at all of them, staggering to his feet with no small effort. They weren’t moving fast enough, setting Shiro’s nerves even further on edge. 

“Guys, I’m begging you,” he gulped. “I’m- I’m not the real Shiro, not really. I am his clone.” Shiro looked directly at Keith as he said it. “Right now, I’m a danger to everything and everyone here. Honerva could take control of me any minute, and if she does before you stop me then this _will_ end in disaster.”

“Honerva,” Keith said in a low voice, scowling at the name. “That’s new.” 

“Haggar, then,” Shiro snapped, “you know who I’m talking about.”

Keith’s glare told a story that only Shiro knew how to read: he looked turned inside out, sick with anger and confusion, barbed suspicion wrapped protectively around fear. “If you’re the enemy,” Keith growled, “then why tell us? Why are you helping us?”

Shiro’s eyes were so sad. “I’m not your enemy, Keith. Not _yet_. Please hurry.”

Keith’s jaw tensed as he made a decision, the muscles of his arms flexing beneath his Blades suit in frustration. He stepped forward with the wolf at his heel. Shiro looked straight at the wolf and interrupted. “Be sure to bring Pidge, too. We have to disarm my prosthetic,” he explained in a hurry. 

Keith raised an eyebrow. He clearly hadn’t missed that Shiro knew about his wolf, and knew the names of all of his companions, proving that _something_ was up even if it didn’t explain exactly what. 

Keith gestured Pidge forward, moving one of Pidge’s hands stiffly into the wolf’s fur. Shiro reached for the wolf himself. In a flash, they all materialized in the security anteroom outside a large holding cell. 

“Wha- what the hell?” Pidge’s voice was just on the edge of panic, or maybe fury. It was hard to tell with them sometimes. “You two have a _LOT_ of explaining to do!”

Keith led Shiro into the cell with a strong but reassuring hand. It may be tenuous, but there was trust there. Despite everything, Keith still believed in him; Shiro knew he shouldn’t feel surprised, but under the circumstances he still did. 

Shiro took a few steps and then turned to look Keith in the eyes as he activated the energy barrier between them. 

“Now talk,” Keith barked. 

Shiro swallowed. He hadn’t remotely made up his mind about where to start with Keith, so he turned to Pidge. Judging by the way they were glancing nervously between them, giving them a task first would probably help in more ways than one. 

“Pidge, there’s virus that will disable the Castle of Lions anytime now. It matches the code you scanned from my arm. Find the virus and lock it down with the countermeasures you wrote. Start now.”

Pidge’s jaw hung slack for a moment, before their fingers starting flying over over the nearest console as quick as he’d ever seen. Shiro turned back to Keith. 

“You must know, Honerva can hear everything we say to one another. I have been her _spy_ ,” he spat. 

Keith recoiled. “How?”

“She can take control of my mind through this arm,” he gestured. “She’s not controlling me now, but you saw when she tried to take over—when I first started wrecking her plans. She intended to have me to bring Lotor to her, and then to use me to lure you to your death, leaving the team to die here with the destruction of the Castle. If it comes to it, you can stop her connection to me by severing my arm completely. You can do it with your sword.”

Keith had gone rigid, his mind turning over this deluge of information. It was almost nonsense, Shiro realized too late as the words left his mouth, but he couldn’t stop the compulsion to warn him, and _fast_. As his mind leapt from hazard to hazard, he hoped he wouldn’t miss anything that would lead to ruin. 

He knew Keith was more interested in other questions, but this had to come first. 

“Whatever happens,” Shiro spoke low with deadly calm, “Haggar cannot get her hands on me, Keith. No matter what it takes. I am... her superweapon,” he fudged. He couldn’t describe the _kire_ while she listened. And it was basically true—he held the key to unstoppable power, whether Honerva would know what to look for or not.

Shiro felt her coil at his challenge right before she struck. The voltage seared him, setting off alarms of pain throughout his body and buckling his knees a second time. 

As he strained against her, Honerva cackled at his resistance. **_I made you. You are mine. You have no will._ **

She was wrong. To her surprise, Shiro shook her off a second time. Regaining awareness, he felt Keith’s hands on his shoulders, saw him crouched in front of him. _Vulnerable_.

“No! No! Get back!” Shiro pulled away abruptly. Keith retreated, powering on the energy field between them again. 

Seeing the barrier shimmer back into place, Shiro sagged into the floor on his hands and knees, his head hanging slack with relief. 

“Keith,” Shiro cleared his throat, his voice shaking as he pushed himself upright. “Do not let your guard down for a moment. Please. Haggar is trying to take me over, and she will use every advantage. I am having some success fighting her, but I don’t know how long I can withstand her. Just… please don’t let me hurt you,” Shiro shuddered. “I can’t live with myself if I hurt you again.”

Keith blinked at him, his jaw setting in a deep frown. “And yet you want me to watch her tortue you,” he scowled. 

“That’s different... I- I’m not Shiro.”

Keith swallowed hard. “You- you still haven’t explained that,” he managed, uncertain. “If you’re a clone, why do you care what happens to us?”

It was so hard with Honerva here. Shiro knew he needed to confide in Keith, felt that was what he was supposed to do, what he _wanted_ to do, but he couldn’t risk anything until they cut her tether. He faced Keith empty-handed while his mind reached for truths he could offer that wouldn’t lay everything bare. 

Keith frowned, shaking his head as his eyes fell to the floor. “Shiro,” he whined, his fingertips sparking along the energy barrier absentmindedly. He hardly winced from the pain of the force field, his thoughts elsewhere. “Why can’t you ever just tell me the truth?”

How could Keith’s words be so much sharper than his blade? It stung, in part because Shiro knew he deserved it. “I’m doing my best right now,” Shiro said softly. “Will you hear me out?”

Keith sighed, nodding despite the unceasing glare.

“I _am_ a clone… but I’m not a monster, Keith,” Shiro’s swallowed. He barely kept the tremor from his voice. “I believed I was Shiro, the _real_ Shiro, until I woke up today. You guys mean the world to me—you are my world, really. No matter what, I have to save you. I know I’m not Shiro, but… you’re the only family I’ve ever known.”

Keith clutched at his heart like it ached, his face twisted. “God, Sh- er, I’m sorry, I-” he bit his lip. “But- where is Shiro- is he okay?”

“Guys?” Pidge’s voice cut in. “There’s no virus. I can’t find anything. I’ve checked and checked. It’s just not there.” 

“What? I-” Shiro muttered, perplexed. “I thought she must have… maybe I was supposed to have… now I’m not sure.” 

“Fuck, Shiro,” Keith cursed, “you’re not making sense. How do you know any of this?”

“Keith, what part of ‘the witch can hear us’ do you not understand?” Shiro snapped. That shut Keith up, though he hated himself for it. “Pidge, can you disrupt her connection to me? If there’s no virus, then that should be the next priority.”

“I... can try. But do you think it’s technology, or magic?”

“No idea. Just try- please—” 

Dark lightning coursed through his insides again. Distantly, he heard himself crying out in agony. **_Give in! You can’t shut me out._ **

Shiro steeled himself against her. Everything burned. Every part of him was beyond tired, but he also felt his strength. He knew what he was fighting for, and that was something she had never accounted for. Shiro felt himself winning, felt Honerva losing ground. It was something he never thought he’d get to see. 

Shiro’s head cleared enough that he could hear the paladins again, or rather hear their pointed silence. When he looked up, Pidge was breathing heavily and running through the decimals of pi under their breath, narrowly keeping a panic attack in check. Even then, Pidge kept typing away at their console. Keith’s eyes looked haunted, but he’d stayed back this time, safe on the other side of the energy barrier. 

Maybe Shiro had been too harsh. This was a lot to ask of anyone.

Shiro stayed on his knees this time. He knew it wasn’t over. He rubbed at his eyes before meeting Keith’s stare again. “It’s getting worse. But I’ll see how much time I can buy us.”

“Hang in there,” Keith said, a quiver in his bottom lip. He seemed to think for a moment before turning towards the hall and activating his wrist comm. “Coran, I’ve got Shir- er, _him-_ in a holding cell, still figuring out what’s going on. Pidge is securing our systems against Haggar’s plans. Ask Romelle and Krolia to brief you; you can trust them…” he stepped out of earshot. _Good thinking_ , Shiro thought with a wave of pride. _Now she can’t hear you, either_.  

Pidge chose that moment to ask him quietly, “How did you know I had countermeasures for the tech in your arm?”

Shiro smiled, and it was genuine. “Because you’re the brightest person I’ve ever known, and of course you would.” 

Pidge blushed, but wasn’t fooled. “Guess you can’t tell me the truth, either, huh?” 

“Figure out how to get her out of my head, and I’ll tell you absolutely everything.” 

Pidge smirked, a determined set to their jaw. “I’m on it.”

Pain flayed him again. **_What are you hiding?_ ** Honerva laughed darkly. **_What do you think you are doing? Protecting him? You can’t_** **,** she challenged. **_You’re too weak._**

Shiro’s defiance peaked at her words. He shoved her right out of his mind. _Watch me,_ Shiro thought. He ached and his limbs shook, but he now believed he could beat her. 

Keith had returned, and was looking at Shiro cautiously as he emerged from another storm of pain. He didn’t give him long to breathe. 

“Alright, enough,” Keith scolded. “You still haven’t told me where Shiro is. Time’s up.”

Shiro’s mouth felt impossibly dry. He could tell Keith about his death, that was nothing new for Honerva to learn, but it felt cruel. He wanted to let Keith know it would be okay, but he couldn’t keep letting on that he knew too much.

There was no way to soften the blow. He took a deep breath. “Shiro died, Keith,” he said as softly as possible, “in the fight with Zarkon.” 

“No,” Keith stepped back, his eyes screaming with pain and denial. Pidge met his eyes, too, looking up from their console, their lip suddenly trembling.

“You’re lying,” Keith snarled, dark and feral. “Why tell me this? Answer me!”

“It’s the truth, Keith, I swear,” Shiro groaned, his resolve giving way, “but it doesn’t end there. You can still save him. His consciousness was somehow retained by the black lion. He’s not lost, but right now he’s trapped in the astral plane. He’s been trying to reach you from there, you and the whole team. He- he misses you so much,” Shiro’s voice broke at the words. 

Keith’s eyes were wet, but he steadied himself against the bulkhead. “That- that hardly makes sense, damn it,” Keith growled. But Shiro had given him hope, and Keith grabbed for it like a drowning man. “And what about you? Where did you come from?”

Dark energy threatened again to consume Shiro. Honerva was there in his mind, probing. **_What are you? How are you here?_ **

Again he cried out in pain, falling forward to all fours. **_Did you find a soul?_ ** He cradled his head against the cool floor. He felt like he was burning up, catching fire. **_How… interesting. How fascinating._ **

Shiro felt new dread. She was getting _far_ too close to the truth. Had he said too much, gone too far? 

“Pidge, how’s it coming with disconnecting this thing?” He tried to sound calm, but there was definitely a desperate edge to his voice. 

“I’m trying! I can’t isolate anything in the arm. It is magic she’s using, but it’s transmitting somehow. I- I need to go to the bridge, try a few more things. I might have to cut off all communications to do it.” Pidge looked at Keith. 

“Actually, Pidge,” Shiro interrupted, “that might help in more ways than one. How broad a net can you cast?”

Keith eyed him. “What are you thinking?”

Shiro wasn’t sure when to share this detail, but better too early than too late. “Lotor’s generals are coming for the Sincline ships. They may not be here yet, or they may be waiting nearby. If you disrupt their comms, too, they won’t be able to communicate back to Haggar while you flush them out.”

Keith nodded. “Pidge, find Coran on the bridge. First priority is cutting that link, and radio silence is on the table, but Coran will need to know how you plan to still get a signal from Allura’s ship.” Pidge made a face, likely irritated by the contradiction, but didn’t argue. “And get the rest of the team working on the generals’ counterattack. Send me text updates,” he said, glancing at Shiro, “if anything changes.”

“Got it,” Pidge called, grabbing their things. “Hang in there, Shiro- er,” Pidge bit their lip, darting from the room. 

Shiro’s eyes followed them out the door, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. “If the generals don’t abort the mission entirely, they’ll most likely still wait until Lotor returns to strike; I’m meant to help them capture Lotor. Keep me locked in this cell so I’m useless to them.”

Keith smirked darkly. “I’m gonna put Lotor in a cell right next to you, so that suits me just fine.” He edged forward toward the force field. “How did they clone Shiro? Where did you come from?” 

Shiro looked at Keith, wondering how he hadn’t pieced this part together himself. 

“Back when I- when _he_ was first captured. You know they experimented on him; the arm was proof of that. They wanted to make the perfect soldier. He was cloned _hundreds_ of times, Keith.”

Keith cursed under his breath. 

“Once word spread that the black paladin was missing, Haggar found a new purpose for one of her clones: an inside man. Project Kuron, she calls it. All they needed was one out of hundreds. I was chosen.”

“You. You’ve been spying on us this whole time,” Keith said, more statement than question. “Since the day I saved you.” 

“Yes. But I didn’t know what I was, I swear to you. Sometimes... I felt like there was something wrong with me, but I thought it was just the stress getting to me. The nightmares got worse, you know? But that wasn’t really new.” 

Keith swallowed. He had comforted Shiro through his nightmares plenty of times and hated feeling powerless against those demons. 

Shiro met his eyes softly. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done my best. For the team. For you. I know I was hard on you sometimes, you more than anyone, and I didn’t know where my anger was coming from. That was _her_. I never wanted to push you away, far from it, but I… I didn’t know how to be close to you, Keith. I wasn’t sure I deserved any of you, that I deserved to be here. Honestly, I didn’t.”

“Stop, Shiro. Just- stop—”

“But I was afraid to lose any of it,” Shiro pressed on. “I _wanted_ to be a paladin. I wanted to _matter._ It was selfish. But the whole time I was a- pawn- in her plan-” Shiro buckled in agony as Honerva shot lightning through him again.

 **_My clone grew a soul,_ ** Honerva thought, taunting him. **_That doesn’t just happen every day._ **

He heard his name, distantly but getting closer. 

“Shiro!” Keith’s strained voice cut through the haze of pain. He raked his hand against the sparking energy field between them. “God dammit, Shiro. Do you know how hard it is for me to see you like this?”

“I’m sorry,” Shiro coughed, feeling his body singed, inside and out. He couldn’t get enough air. “But we have no choice. It’s going to get worse before it gets better. No more risking your life for mine—not this time. If it comes down to it, if there’s no other way, you will need to destroy me before letting me fall into her hands.”

 **_How did you do it?_ ** She probed, tasting Shiro’s fear. **_What did you find?_ **

Keith stiffened. “I will never let that happen, Shiro. No way.” 

 **_You found a way—_ ** 

“There’s more at stake than my life, Keith—”

 **_You can keep Lotor. You have something else I want._ **Shiro’s blood ran cold even as his insides sparked. 

“—No! Just stop,” Keith growled. “You listen to me, Shiro. It’s always the same with you, have you noticed? _YOU_ can’t live with me getting hurt. _YOU_ call the shots. _YOU_ get to decide who has to die for the sake of the universe. Funny, isn’t it, how it always has to be _YOU!_ ”

 **_You can’t stop him. He will die for you._ ** 

“Keith—”

“—No. Get it through your head: I’m not playing by your rules. Because you’re wrong. We figure this out together, or it ends exactly how you’re afraid it will.”

**_You’ll watch._ **

“Please, Keith—”

Keith moved to speak, but just then Honerva cleaved Shiro in two. **_Yield to me!_ ** She screamed. He felt it viscerally, a vile popping sensation that shot through him like an apple being cored. Like his spinal cord had been liquified, and in its place ran a current of energy linked to her mind. He was lost to her. 

Shiro slumped forward against the floor, almost lifeless for a moment. It brought Keith lurching forward against the force field, wanting so badly to catch him. This time Keith reeled back, grasping at his stinging hands with a string of curses. 

Shiro’s body began moving automatically, sitting back on his heels. He swayed unsteadily but managed not to topple over. When Shiro met Keith’s eyes again, he knew he was not in control, his vision tinted violet. God, he hoped Keith saw it happen. Shiro felt helpless in her grasp. 

He felt Honerva’s will forcing him on. **_You will reel him in,_ ** she ordered. **_Show him how you are hurting._ **Some lowly part of him obeyed without hesitation.  

“Shiro! Are you okay?” Keith cried urgently. 

“I’m… sorry Keith,” he heard himself reply, sounding broken. _Oh hell._ “You don’t have to watch.”

“I’m not leaving you, Shiro.” 

“You should. She will hurt you. She’ll use me to get to you.” He felt his clone’s body look away, averting his eyes with a shudder. An affectation. It made Shiro sick, a perversion of his true feelings. 

Keith sounded pained. He typed something into the comm at his wrist. Shiro could see Keith wiping at his eyes, pushing past tears. It was all too much; it was taking a toll. 

Another message sent, and then he strode for the door. Shiro felt relief wash over him. _Good, Keith. Go. There’s nothing you can do for me. Leave before she gets her claws in you, too._

But Keith stopped and touched the panel, closing them both inside. _No, please no..._

“What are you doing?” he heard himself ask softly, surprised. 

“I don’t need anyone to overhear this.” _Shit. Shit, shit, shit._

He stared mutely. **_That’s it, my pet. Let him come to you._ **Honerva kept him on his knees, the picture of supplication. Shiro was afraid to watch. 

“Tell me the truth. Are you really a clone? Or are you Shiro? _My_ Shiro?”

“Yours?” his eyes never left Keith’s face. 

“Yes,” Keith winced, achingly vulnerable. He was coming apart at the seams. “If you’re Shiro, then you’ve always been mine. Even if you don’t realize it yet.”

“How?”

Keith’s tears spilled over then. “Our little secret,” he said, twin tears streaking his face as his breath caught in a gasp. 

_What does that mean?_

“Oh, Keith,” he heard himself say, crawling forward as though he could comfort him, reach out and touch him without burning his flesh. “Please don’t cry, baby. You know I can’t stand it. I- I love you.”

 _No, no, no, no, no_ —

“Shiro?” Keith came to his knees, peering at him with the widest eyes from the other side of the invisible barrier. So close. So dangerous. “Is that true?” 

 **_Give him what he wants!_ **Honerva’s laugh rumbled with her hatred.

“I’ve always loved you,” he heard himself say. 

 _Keith, don’t listen, please,_ Shiro’s soul cried. It was no use. She was utterly inside Keith’s guard now. 

Keith covered his mouth with a hand, tears flowing silently as he drank in the clone’s eyes. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”

Honerva’s power coiled again, tightening a noose. Shiro felt himself bite his lip. “I’ve wanted to tell you,” his voice was thick with desire. “I didn’t know if you wanted to hear it.”

Keith wiped away tears. “Of course I do! Shiro—”

“I want you so much, Keith.”

Keith’s hands came to his own chest, just to touch someone. Just to be touched. Keith closed his eyes against his racing heart. **_Reel him in._ **

“I wish I could touch you,” Shiro’s hand caressed the top of his own thigh, “just once.”

Keith’s eyes opened, deep and dark with yearning and hope. There was fear them, too, but not nearly enough. Keith was nothing if not bold. He’d made up his mind.

_No! Keith, no. Please- don’t do this!_

Shiro felt his last hope fading. Honerva was right; he would watch him die. When he did, his heart would engage the artifact. It was a given. And then Honerva would know everything. What if she could snatch it from him, then and there? The extent of her power was far beyond his knowledge—and though the _kire_ was still mysterious to him, it may not be to her. It was her heritage, after all: an Altean relic, a lost legend from a time when great magic flourished among _her people_. Who was he to know whether she could take it so easily, pluck it from him like a ripe fruit? And then all would be lost.

Keith shifted back from the barrier just in time for the wolf to appear between them. Keith hugged his wolf’s neck with one arm, seeming to steady himself against his furry companion, brushing his fingers through the dense silver-blue fur. Keith looked the wolf in the eyes and nodded. 

There was a pop of ozone and Keith vanished, materializing in the cell behind where Shiro knelt. 

“Keith—” his clone feigned surprise as he turned halfway to face him, moving weakly on his bruised knees. 

The wolf departed quickly, leaving Keith alone, crouched low at Shiro’s eye level. 

 **_Just you and me now,_ **Honerva laughed viciously. 

“It’s okay, Shiro,” Keith caught his weight as he slumped to the side in Keith’s direction. Keith cradled him securely against his much smaller frame, pressing his cheek into Shiro’s temple. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not letting you go.”

Honerva raised his mech hand over Keith’s heart, poised and threatening even as it took the shape of a caress. Consumed with fear, he hardly felt the piercing pain at his neck, quick and sharp. Shiro felt her intention clearly; everything else fell away. 

**_Say goodbye, champion!_ **

_NO!_

Shiro screamed as he tore at her, finding purchase somewhere deep in Honerva’s being. He felt something give—just a foothold, but it was enough. 

He would tear his way through her. 

It would not end like this. 

Shiro heard his own voice, that _no_ that echoed sharply in the too-small holding cell; he heard it with his ears, not just in his mind. Shiro felt his arm swinging wide, away from Keith’s fragile heartbeat, just as the energy sword took form. It was a very near miss—too near—but the sword extended into the air past Keith’s left ear. 

Honerva dug in once more, rooting him out. Shiro knew he was going to lose control again at any moment, but even this was enough; he’d showed her cards, and now Keith had a fighting chance. As she flayed him with pain, he felt his arm pulling the sword back toward Keith’s neck. Keith was ready this time: in a flash, the Marmora blade in his left hand met his strike in a torrent of violet sparks. 

The energy sword was too close. It might be his imagination tangling with violent memories, else it was happening again—the smell of burning flesh and hair as Keith strained hard against his weapon. But still Keith held him tightly around the back with his other arm, until he felt himself slumping in Keith’s lap. It didn’t make sense. Shiro’s thoughts were slow now as the mech arm disarmed, the sword vanishing. Shiro was losing control again, but this time he was numb where he should feel pain. 

Honerva was gone. It was just Shiro and Keith. He felt Keith kiss his face, wet with tears, as he lowered him to the floor. He couldn’t form the question with his lips.

“It’s gonna be okay, Shiro,” he whispered. “Just rest now.”

 

+++


	6. Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Note to any subscribed readers:** I am very sorry, but this is _not_ actually a brand new chapter, if you read the last update. I received some good advice that the very long chapter 5 had a very logical and compelling break point in the middle of it, and should really be two chapters. Live and learn! Here is the second half of the last update, now lopped off into its very own chapter 6. We'll now have 10 chapters overall. 
> 
> I'm making quick progress on the next one and expect I'll be finished in about two weeks!
> 
> Putting this right on the tin so don’t be surprised: _**Explicit**_ scene coming up near the beginning of this chapter. When the making out starts, you can skip to the next scene break if smut isn't your thing. Things get messy, and squ*rt happens.
> 
> Otherwise, plot, plot, PLOT with the usual violence, dread and angst.

+++

 

Shiro awoke in his cabin from a heavy, dreamless sleep. He was in bed, mostly undressed and lying in the dark. The only light came from the _kire_ which was partially covered in some kind of fabric. His head felt too heavy to raise it, his thoughts in disarray. He tucked his chin to get a better look. Pain lanced across his skin as he shifted, especially from his right side, but he could feel patches of angry skin clear down to his calves. He seemed to be wrapped in cloth bandages. A lot of bandages.

Shiro remembered the burns from the last time. When Honerva bent her will toward destroying what was most precious to him, this body couldn’t take the voltage—and he’d been expendable in any case, a cheap copy. This pain was like that, but different; these burns came from their struggle for control. He shuddered at the memory of fire coursing through his insides, but quaking only brought on more pain so he tried to contain it. 

He’d beat her at a cost, felt it keenly, but this was as it should be. He’d pay that price a thousand times more to keep the paladins safe from her. To keep _Keith_ safe from her. 

It took Shiro a few beats longer to realize the shifting pillow beneath his head was the warmth of Keith’s thigh. He was laying in Keith’s lap. That was one of Keith’s hands trailing through his hair. 

Fear gripped him all at once, the threat of Honerva haunted his mind—but Keith’s hands were already on him, holding him down firmly as he tried to jerk away. 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Keith rushed to say, his voice gentle and pleading while his hands brooked no argument. “She can’t reach you now,” he soothed. Keith held him there, palms pressing into his bare chest, fingers trailing over bandages. Shiro felt the fight go right out of him.

“Keith,” Shiro sighed. 

“Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, I- I’m glad you’re here,” he swallowed. His throat was dry. Keith reached for a light, dialing it up slowly. Shiro flinched while it was still dim, so Keith left the lights low. 

“You did it,” Shiro breathed. “You got her out of my head.”

Keith huffed, a dismal kind of laugh. “Yeah. Barbecued you pretty good, though. Dressed it all, best as we could,” he fidgeted slightly, like he was nervous. “Hunk helped, but I made sure no one else saw.”

Shiro looked up at him questioningly. He didn’t follow why it would matter _what_ they saw, if they were dressing his wounds; they’d all patched each other up at one point or another, leaving nothing to the imagination. It came with the territory, with Voltron and with the Blades. There was no room for modesty amidst the never-ending crisis of fighting a galactic war. 

By way of explanation, Keith looked pointedly at Shiro’s chest, brushing the top edge of the _kire_ with his fingers where it showed above the bandages. _Oh._

Shiro swallowed. “You saw this, then.”

“Kind of hard to miss,” Keith sighed. “Explains a few things.”

Shiro sat up then, and this time Keith let him. Shiro missed his touch immediately, but he needed to focus. Laying down wasn’t helping his muddy thoughts. Once he was upright, he turned to face Keith where he still leaned against the headboard. He wore only the bodysuit that usually lay beneath his Marmora gear. He looked… different somehow. 

Shiro studied his expression. “Does it? What does it explain?” 

Keith nodded. “How you know things you couldn’t know,” he said quietly. “You’re _you_ , cloned or not. But you’ve… seen this all before.”

Shiro’s mouth felt dry. “Not all of it. I know what’s supposed to happen. Things work out differently when I… when I…” he hesitated. He was never sure how much he should say. 

Keith frowned sadly. “Why are you dodging? It’s just you and me, now.”

Shiro opened his hands in surrender, not meeting his eyes. “Habit, Keith.”

Keith took his hands. “Well, stop it. Talk to me.”

His sigh was so deep. “I may as well have just told you. That I’m from the future. That I’m time traveling. She- she _knows,_  Keith. Despite everything I worked for, everything we’ve lost, she saw too much. She knows that I have exactly what she wants.”

Keith’s brow creased, and that uneasy feeling returned to the pit of Shiro’s stomach. Something was different about his face. “Then she’ll be coming for you,” Keith said. “For that,” he eyed the stone. 

“Sooner or later, she’ll take what she wants.” Shiro felt numb. “This timeline- it’s a dead end. And that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard, because it’s the only one where I’ve managed to keep you safe.”

Shiro tried to take in Keith’s expression, tried to focus on it, but that _something_ nagged at him until it forced its way to the front of his mind. The scar was _wrong._  That was it. An angry, burned line cut across Keith’s left cheek where it shouldn’t be at all; his right side was spared. Instead of pointing toward his eye dangerously, the violent mark ran along the line of his jaw from the tip of his chin towards the top of his ear. 

It was no worse than before, but somehow it _was_ worse, seeing it like this. Seeing it change. Every choice had its price, that he knew. But never before would Shiro have believed he’d rather go back and make the same choices again, all the same mistakes, than never have the chance to make those mistakes. They had suffered plenty, but Shiro knew in that moment he wouldn’t think twice if he could have it all back. He’d embrace every minute of it, exactly as it was, if he only knew _how._

That scar. Would they be denied even this?

If Keith noted Shiro’s staring, he found some other meaning in it. He brushed his thumbs over the backs of Shiro’s hands. “We’ll stop her, Shiro,” he said calmly, with so much conviction. “I don’t know how, but we’ll do it together. We always do.”

_I don’t know how._

Shiro felt his heart falling like a stone. He realized all at once he’d hung his hopes on Keith’s insight. _You can end this,_  Keith had said. _Come find me._ But how had he thought that, anyway, for even a moment? There was no way for Keith to know. Shiro was the one from the future, damn it all—if _he_ didn’t figure out how this worked, no one would. 

Shiro had the _kire_ , and no one could cross that threshold with him. Keith least of all. 

He was alone. 

“Shiro?”

“Keith.”

“I can feel your heart breaking, and I don’t even know what I said.”

Shiro wiped at his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he sniffed, “just something you said, in the future…” he hesitated. He had to pull himself together, for Keith’s sake at least. 

“What did I say?”

 _He won’t know_ , Shiro thought. He shook his head, shoving those feelings down. “It was nothing.”

“It _was_ something. Tell me,” Keith said in a low voice, edged with frustration.

“I- I don’t know, okay! It didn’t make any sense, anyway,” he ran his fingers through his own hair, calming himself. “You- you were out of time, Keith,” Shiro spoke barely above a whisper. “You were… dying.”

Keith went still. “So that’s how it happens.” Shiro was silent, frozen. Keith wasn’t about to drop it; he pressed on. “I die, and you reach into your past to find me again.”

“Pretty much,” Shiro pinched at the bridge of his nose. “My own personal hell, except- it’s all real. The mage who gave me this said so,” he hung his head. “And you keep paying the price.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I still have to fix it! I’m the only one who can.” _Alone_. He reached for Keith’s face where the burn mark ran along his jaw. “I hurt you.”

Keith’s warm fingers twined with his cool metal ones where his fingertips stroked his face. “It’s hardly a scratch.”

The sound that escaped him was half-laugh, half-resigned sob. “You would say that, wouldn’t you.”

Keith blinked at him. “I’ve had worse, Shiro.”

“But not from me! It’s- different,” he sighed. “Can’t you see that?” He felt a tremor move through him, bringing pain to the surface all over his torched body. “Fuck, Keith. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you guys got Haggar out of my head when you did, really I am. Just the nick of time. But- it was a bit too close for comfort, don’t you think? You scared the hell out of me. I really thought you’d fallen for her trick. A moment later and— What?” 

Keith was biting into his lip hard. It was about the guiltiest look Shiro had ever seen, and Shiro gave him a hard look in return. It chased Keith to his feet. He paced near the bed, his muscles roiling beneath the dark fabric like a panther prowling. 

“Out with it,” Shiro barked. 

“Shiro, hear me out, okay?”

Shiro felt his frown deepen, his gut twisting. He wasn’t going to like this. 

“Pidge tried, okay? They couldn’t do it, not without help. We decided we needed Allura, but she wasn’t back yet. She didn’t get back for _hours_. Actually, Lotor had the solution we needed; a fairly common Galra device for disrupting transmissions, worked wonders. I’d like to think he wanted to help you, though I’m sure he was just hoping to save his own skin like usual,” Keith seethed. “He can rot in his cell for all I care.”

Shiro was still catching up, still frowning at Keith’s off-kilter scar. 

“Pidge... _didn’t_ stop her?”

“No, Shiro. That happened later.”

“And until then?” His voice was too high.

“Until then, we had to sedate you.” Shiro vaguely remembered the sharp pain in his neck. The pieces were falling into place. Horror gripped him like a vice.

“Keith! She had _complete control_ of me—”

“I know, Shiro. I felt it, okay?” Keith made two fists, still pacing. “I knew when it happened. You were saying those sweet things, saying how you longed for me, but all I felt was your fear.”

“And you _went in there_?” Shiro shouted. “You gave her the opportunity—exactly what she wanted! You nearly died, Keith!”

“Two can play this game, Shiro,” Keith said. “And there are some things she doesn’t know.”

"Fuck," he cursed, throwing in names of several deities he’d never prayed to. He was apoplectic. “I- I can’t believe you! You should have kept yourself safe,” Shiro scolded.

“Easy for you to say!”

Shiro tossed his hair in irritation. “Keith, listen to me—”

“—She was _killing_ you,” Keith cut him off with his hands cupping both sides of Shiro’s face. He forced Shiro to look up at him where he stood. “I stood there and I _watched_ , because you told me to. I gave you time to handle it your way, okay? And when it went sideways, I dealt with it.” His voice was gentle now. “I told you I wouldn’t just sit by. I meant it.” 

Shiro pulled Keith’s hands to his heart, pulling him closer to the edge of the bed where he was still perched. “That was so dangerous, Keith,” Shiro tried to sound stern, but his eyes were shining and soft.

Keith cocked an eyebrow. “You’re welcome.”

He couldn’t help but smile at that. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Well if that isn’t the pot scolding the kettle, I don’t know what is,” Keith breathed a laugh as he sat back down, so close by Shiro’s side. Keith nudged him with his shoulder. “But that’s how I know it’s really you.” 

Shiro was thoughtful. “How’s that?” 

“You’ve gotta take on the world, all by yourself. And far be it from you to watch someone else do the same.” Keith shook his head. “The day you decide to take your own damn advice, we can all pack up and go home. Until then…” 

Shiro fell still. His heart was beating too fast. “Maybe I’m just not used to you calling me on it,” he studied Keith’s face, reaching out to touch his unmarred cheek. “When did you get me all figured out?”

“Ah, the wild Shirogane,” Keith joked even as his eyes rounded into pools. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Honestly, though,” Shiro ghosted a finger along Keith’s lower lip. “Did you see this future, too? In the abyss?”

Keith was quiet, studying Shiro’s mouth. Before he knew it he was on a collision course, drifting in for a kiss. Keith was through with waiting; he needed this _now_. For a moment, Shiro forgot everything that weighed on him, sinking into the pleasure of Keith’s lips on his, tasting his breath. Keith made a high, needy sound that raked through him as they both reached for breath between heated kisses. 

“Wait, Keith,” Shiro pulled back, ignoring Keith’s pout. “How did you know? How?”

“Because you taught me. You showed me what to look for,” Keith raked his fingers through Shiro’s hair, firm along his scalp. “Everything I needed to know about loving you, I learned from you.” 

Shiro gazed at him, uncomprehending, struck dumb with love. He gave up questioning, pouring his heart into Keith’s hands, his arms, his mouth. As their limbs tangled, Keith’s sigh pulled him down like a riptide. 

They tumbled until Keith was riding his hips, the press of his body washing over him even as he ignored the pain of his wounds licking his skin wherever they moved. The bandages were almost no help, but he just didn’t care. He was inundated with affection, with relief—Keith’s and his own, in equal measure. It was theirs together and he clung to it. The pain could _wait_. 

“Shiro- please-” Keith panted, grinding his hips against Shiro’s groin almost helplessly, swept up in the feeling. The rush of blood in his veins would not be ignored.

Shiro tore at Keith’s base layer, unfastening it roughly and sliding it from this shoulders as Shiro’s teeth grazed past his collarbone, hands slipping down his back. Keith’s body felt different; he was always muscular in his wiry way, but right now he felt even more _hardened_. Probably from those two years in the wilderness, Shiro reminded himself, riding into the abyss on a space whale’s back. His hands poured lovingly over Keith’s touch-starved skin, gripping into his muscles in ways that made Keith groan. 

He noted the differences with curiosity, but these were just little things. It was still Keith. And he already knew something of how Keith wanted to be touched. Gratitude tickled his heart; he didn’t hold back, plying his every advantage to lavish Keith in pleasure that he so richly deserved. Kissing down his torso, he found his nipple and sucked firmly until Keith arched back with a heated whine, grinding down against Shiro’s hips again. Shiro gripped his waist, thumbs pressing into the sensitive hollows of his hip bones until another moan raked out of him. He folded forward to catch Shiro’s mouth in another needy kiss. 

Shiro captured Keith’s lip between his teeth, tugging hungrily. “I want to hear you say my name, Keith. Please.” 

The sound that spilled out of him was a whimper and a plea. “Takashi,” he moaned.

Shiro smiled into the kiss as he rolled him onto his back. All the horror and heartbreak he’d experienced, the sheer nightmare of it all—it had him bone-tired, his nerves scraped raw like his scorched skin. _So_ tired, _so_ raw that he felt joy seeping through in spite of himself. Delirious joy, desperate joy as Keith’s legs wrapped around his hips. The feeling bubbled up from secret, tender places that he’d guarded well over the years. The ragged sound of Keith’s voice laid it all bare. Kissing his mouth, sucking at his throat as he caressed down his hard, wiry frame, Shiro’s heart pulsed with that heady, wild joy that tasted like freedom. 

“Takashi,” he murmured again at his ear. “I need you.”

Shiro pulled away just long enough to tug Keith’s suit from his hips and off his legs and peel off his own underwear, crawling quickly back into that warm embrace. Keith blinked at him in the low light, seeming to remember all at once how Shiro’s skin was laced with burns that the bandages were definitely not shielding very well. He frowned.

“I- we…”

“I don’t care, Keith.” 

Keith sighed. It was a sound of resignation, surrender. Shiro urged Keith’s legs back around his waist until his ankles locked in place, capturing his lips in another kiss. Keith wanted to complain, to insist—or part of him did, at least—that Shiro not hurt himself more in the act, but something stopped him. Hunger, probably. _Need_. And something more, too; Keith knew better than to try and coddle Shiro, especially when his mind was made up that it was worth the risk. Worth the pain. 

It was a gift Keith gave him, often when no one else could. He felt the gauze of his bandages catching against Keith’s heated, sweat-damp skin as Shiro rocked him into the sheets, their hard lengths grazing between them with delicious friction. Keith wouldn’t stop him, but he’d be there to rescue him if he needed it—would be there after to patch him up, stitch him back together again. 

Shiro wondered if he should be ashamed for asking that of him, in large and small ways, more times than he could count. But he was sure Keith couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Best just to be grateful, then, to be loved by someone who knew how to love him so well. 

Shiro still moved against Keith’s hips but slipped lower, feeling the press of Keith’s body against his abs, hard above and wet below. His abused skin ached nearly everywhere, but Keith felt so good against him, he couldn’t resist. He heard Keith whimper as he sucked at his throat, his own cock leaking against the sheets where he rutted himself. 

Keith loved him _bravely_ —wouldn’t think of holding him back. All he wanted in return was to be in it together, by each other’s side.

Why was that so hard?

He groaned into Keith’s mouth, tongue reaching deep until Keith was shuddering and breathless.

“Baby. I want to be in you.”

“Yes,” Keith pleaded, pulling at Shiro’s waist until the tip of his cock grazed his slick lips, already parting for him. “Need you now, p-please.”

Sliding into Keith’s body took Shiro’s breath away; he guessed it always would. It was like falling, as easy as gravity. He felt Keith shudder beneath him, his soft moan smothered against Shiro’s shoulder. 

Shiro’s breath was hot against Keith’s neck as he held him close, sinking into him again and again in a slow rhythm. Stroking deep inside, he listened to Keith’s breath hitch each time he bottomed out. 

Keith hooked his leg behind Shiro’s knee, rolling them both until he straddled Shiro’s hips. He smiled down at the wonder in Shiro’s eyes. 

“Let me take care of you, okay? Just this once.” 

_Oh hell._

Shiro couldn’t refuse him, not when Keith looked down at him with his eyes blown like this. Keith started lifting and rocking his hips, taking Shiro in deep strokes each time he sank back onto his heels. Shiro moaned as he drifted towards bliss in Keith’s arms. 

He would let Keith take him anywhere, wouldn’t he? It wasn’t so hard to let him lead. 

As Keith moved over him, he dipped low to nip at Shiro’s lips, his breath hot on his face. 

“Keith,” he gasped, “Ah- you feel incredible- Oh!” he panted, shuddering with the feeling of being _taken_. “I’m all yours, baby.” That earned him a blissed-out smile. He wanted to see it again and again. “Show me what makes you feel good.”

“Mmm,” Keith hummed, eyes fluttering closed.

Shiro’s eyes settled on the flush that deepened slowly on Keith’s cheeks as he worked himself up. His skin glistened in the low light, dark hair falling loosely around his face, the longest strands just brushing his collarbones. 

“You’re so beautiful, Keith. I- I can’t get enough of seeing you like this.”

Keith opened his eyes then, pupils unfocused. Seeing his fucked-out look made his cock throb deep inside him, craving _more_. More of that wet heat. More friction, faster. 

Keith’s back was arching in pulses as he thrust down on him steadily, rocking just how he needed to catch his tenderest spot with every stroke. He was lost in the feeling, and Shiro couldn’t take his eyes off him.

“Taka-shi-” Keith gasped, humming a desperate moan now. “I- I wanna come.”

“Come for me. Please,” Shiro groaned. He wanted to feel it, to hear it in his voice—wanted it more than his own release. 

As Keith lost control, his cock spurting between them, Shiro thrust his hips up into him even as he was clenching down helplessly around Shiro’s dick. The thrusts were hard, fast, desperate. It didn’t take long to catch up to him; Keith cried out through all of it, soaking them both in a hot wave as Shiro fucked him right through the peak of his orgasm. By the time Shiro spilled inside him, Keith was shuddering, sinking his claws into the meat of Shiro’s shoulders sharply, his eyes screwed shut. 

Shiro slowed the motion of his hips, hanging on to Keith’s slick thighs. Fluid ran down his legs, dripping past the curve of Shiro’s hips and soaking the bed. 

When Keith blinked his eyes open, Shiro swore he saw cat eyes for a moment. The telltale Galra yellow was there for a moment before the effect vanished. 

Keith panted, leaning forward to kiss Shiro’s mouth, and in that moment he couldn’t fight the urge to run his tongue along the edge of Keith’s teeth. They weren’t sharper than usual, were they? No, he thought not. His claws certainly were, for a passing moment. He had the claw marks to prove it, but if Keith hadn’t noticed he wasn’t about to point it out. It didn’t hurt _that_ much. He thought it was _hot as hell_ , if he was honest. He thought he’d like to feel that again, and see how feral Keith could go. 

Keith was giggling almost shyly, hands slipping in a puddle of his own making as he tried to steady himself with his grip at Shiro’s hip. “What. The fuck,” he laughed breathily. 

“Mm, beautiful,” Shiro kissed him. “Perfect. No regrets.” 

“Have I done that before?” Keith trying not to sound scandalized just made Shiro giggle up at him. It was precious. 

“No, baby. That,” he kissed his nose, “was new.”

“You’re enjoying this.”

“So much,” Shiro licked into his mouth, sloppy and eager. “Should I not be?”

Keith thought a moment. “No, you should. That was the best orgasm of my life.” He smiled, his voice a low rasp. “But so much for your bed.”

Shiro considered this. “We should clean ourselves up. I’m definitely gonna need some new bandages,” he grinned wryly, “and then... your cabin instead?”

“Deal.”

 

+

 

Once freshly bandaged and in Keith’s dry bed, Shiro fell back into a dreamless sleep. The eerie lack gnawed at his mind even while his body took its much-needed rest. It was an uneasy night.

Shiro didn’t dream, but Keith did. Anxious thrashing roused Shiro enough that he heard Keith’s pained whine. He shifted to hold Keith closer, finding him breathing hard through his clenched jaw. 

“Keith, it’s okay,” he shook him softly, “just a nightmare.” Shiro soothed him awake carefully. “I’m here,” he said softly at his ear. 

Keith pulled back and looked at him in shock, his breath ragged. Shaking his head, he willed the images away, his grip on Shiro’s shoulders strong as a vice. 

“What did you see?” Shiro asked, trying his best to rein in the concern in his voice. 

“H- Haggar,” Keith swallowed. “She had you, and she was- torching you again. Fuck, I can still hear you screaming. It felt so real.”

Shiro exhaled a sigh as he nuzzled his nose against Keith’s cheek. “I’m right here, Keith. You already saved me.” 

Keith gave him a skeptical, searching look, but said nothing. Shiro was afraid to ask what it meant. Keith snuggled closer to Shiro, burying his face in his chest for a while. Shiro knew it wouldn’t be long before he was pulling away; Keith was upset, and he needed to _do_ something when he felt like that. Shiro tried to follow him after he pulled himself to his feet, but Keith was on him in a moment, pressing him back into the sheets. 

“You need your rest, Shiro. I’ve slept enough.”

Even if he wanted to argue, Shiro’s body betrayed him with a devastating yawn. He settled back into the bed. “Alright. Just a little longer.”

Keith gave him an indulgent smile, his fingertips lingering over Shiro’s bare shoulder before stepping away. 

 

+

 

By the time he woke again, a few vargas had passed and Shiro had quite a few messages to catch up on. He scanned them as he pulled on some clothes, wincing as the tight layers tugged at his flame-licked skin. 

It seemed Keith had made the rounds to the team while he rested, leaving him various updates. Krolia and Romelle were now settled in on the Castle; they’d be staying a while, probably, in this reality. Lotor was still in the brig, and besides pleading for Allura’s ear for countless vargas at this point, he’d had little to say to the rest of them in defense of himself and his actions. Lance was more than happy to leave him rotting there, and was more than happy to say as much, but Shiro knew he couldn’t find it in himself to celebrate while Allura was furious, the betrayal hot and fresh.

Pidge and Coran had been on the lookout for any sign of the generals’ whereabouts, but they’d yet to show their faces. Hunk set some traps and countermeasures in the surrounding system, hoping to get some early warning, something they could work with. Hunk had teamed up with Pidge to study the Galra device Lotor had supplied to sever Honerva’s connection to Shiro; after trying in vain to figure out how it worked, Pidge was needed elsewhere and Hunk had moved on to stress baking and posting photos of the feast prep to a group chat. Apparently there were pies—lots of pies.

One thing was clear from the messages: they all wanted to see Shiro. They were worried about him, certainly; they also wanted answers. It seemed only fair—he’d lobbed a few emotional grenades when this all started, before things had gone truly sideways with Honerva. The rest of the paladins were still sorting it all out. 

Shiro mulled over their situation, and his place in all of it, on his way to the lounge. 

When he walked in, Hunk was only steps ahead of him carrying a fresh tray of something that smelled savory and delicious. He was detailing his latest culinary invention to Coran, who nodded approvingly as he sampled. 

Allura was seated near the center trying to have a conversation with Romelle. The other Altean was a bit like a squirrel in humanoid form, constantly finding something new to be distracted by. Allura tried valiantly; it’s not every day that one meets another survivor of the Altean genocide. Still, Shiro didn’t envy Allura’s task one bit. Lance was on the opposite couch sulking, or trying to, while Pidge wasn’t having any of it. Keith was talking to his mother at the far side of the room, with the giant wolf lingering nearby. 

Shiro took a few steps into the room, feeling everyone’s eyes settle on him as the room fell silent. Glancing around, he was met with a bunch of unreadable expressions. 

“Uh,” he cleared his throat. “Hi.”

“Shiro!” Lance of all people was the first to come darting in his direction, barreling into his chest for a crushing hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Shiro looked awkwardly before hugging Lance back, chuckling to himself. Pidge smirked but kept to their seat. Hunk and Coran looked like they both might cry with relief. Lance finally released him just when Shiro was going to start peeling the boy off of him. 

Romelle was exploring between two couch cushions. Allura smiled a too-tight smile, whether because of him or because of the Altean, he couldn’t tell. Keith and Krolia gave each other matching ‘knowing smiles’ from the edge of the room.

It was a lot to take in. 

“How are you feeling, Shiro?” Coran finally asked. “You had us all so worried.”

“I’ll be okay. Thanks to you all,” he surveyed their faces for clues. Anger? No. Fear? No. Relief? Plenty. Where should he start? 

Shiro scratched at the nape of his neck. “Did, uh, Keith fill you in at all?”

“You were cloned, and sent to spy on us,” Pidge said levelly.

“Shiro’s soul is, like, _trapped_ in the black lion—but he’s okay. For now,” Hunk said, eyes crinkling with worry.

“You’re actually Shiro from the future!” Romelle’s sing-song voice chimed in, loose change jingling in her palm as she made a sweeping gesture. 

“Haggar wants that _gismo_ in your chest,” Lance waved his hand dismissively at the now-typical _blah blah magic space trinket_ plot twist. “And we’re gonna stop her for good.”

Simple as that. 

Shiro blinked, a bit at a loss for words. He watched Keith crossing the room, Krolia following not far behind him. 

“I agreed to tell them anything I could,” Keith said mildly as he approached, “if they’d at least lay off you til after breakfast.”

The words _My hero_ crossed Shiro’s mind, but he kept them to himself. He managed an awkward smile as he snagged a savory hand pie from Hunk’s outstretched tray. Tasting it, his thoughts vaporized. It was the very definition of comfort food, perfectly flaky and seasoned just right; Shiro downed the first one and took two more without thinking. 

Hunk just smiled at him encouragingly. “I figured you’d have an appetite. And there’s plenty more where that came from,” he gestured to the table which was piled with baked treats of every description. Worrying had kept Hunk _very_ busy. “Grab a plate.”

Shiro obeyed immediately. The din of conversation around him picked back up where it had left off, as everyone seemed to agree implicitly to let the poor man eat. 

Looking for a seat, Shiro’s eyes settled on Allura. He was walking toward her before he quite understood what he wanted to say. She met his eyes as he approached. 

“I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused, Princess.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, gesturing for him to sit with her and Romelle. “Trouble? The way I heard it told, you saved us a lot more trouble by intervening.”

“I- I meant the clone,” he swallowed. “Being her spy. Backing Lotor’s plans. The clone, well, he thought he was making the right choices, and wasn’t aware how he was being- influenced. I guess I wanted to apologize for all of that, since he never got the chance.”

Allura tilted her head to the side, considering. “If he is… part of _you_ even now, then he has redeemed himself many times over.” Her lips formed a small, restrained smile. “Any part of you will always be a part of this family, Shiro.”

Shiro felt warmth bloom in his chest. “Thank you,” he said heartily, blinking back unexpected tears. “That means a lot.”

She patted his knee. “Eat, Shiro. You must regain your strength quickly. We have work to do.”

So he ate, and for a spell he forgot to worry about his little ragtag family and how he would keep them safe. He let go his thoughts of all the harm he’d caused—to these innocent lives, to the man he loved, to their very reality. He ate happily and basked in the joy of being surrounded by all of their voices, their petty arguments and general banter. He loved them all so much, and right now they were here, together, and whole. 

He felt Keith’s eyes on him from time to time, standing a short distance away. Shiro would wait until Keith looked away before he’d let himself look. He wasn’t ready to speak, and he knew his eyes would say too much when they met.

Keith was with his mother and a rotating cast of their friends—Hunk for a while, then Pidge, later Coran. Eventually even Lance wavered in his commitment to Allura-related sulking in order to get a read on “Mullet’s mom.” The wolf hovered for a while, giving each of Keith’s friends a soulful look and submitting to head scritches. But the wolf seemed a bit bored by all the talking, and eventually warped away to explore who-knows-where on the Castle. 

Krolia had met everybody hours ago—had no doubt made herself useful in a crisis—but it wasn’t a real beginning. Now, in a fairly surprising display of social aptitude, Keith seemed to be taking the time to introduce her to each of their friends himself. Shiro caught whiffs of old stories being told, making connections between these friends and the things Krolia may have caught glimpses of in the quantum abyss. Each of them was _someone_ to Keith, and he wanted her to see why. And he left each of them with a little bit more about her: more reason to trust her, to accept her, to love her. Like he did.

Shiro watched him as discreetly as he could manage, finishing his plate. Keith was radiant, handsome in his devil-may-care way. Seeing him in profile, Shiro noted the way his longish hair coiled at the nape of his neck above the gathered hood of the too-tight blades uniform he still wore. Keith’s eyes looked particularly bright when he saw his mom smile. It pinched Shiro’s heart. 

_He never got to have this. A family. He deserves this._

Lance must’ve said something embarrassing, Shiro mused, seeing the blush start to darken on Keith’s unmarred right cheek. Keith’s trained smile was looking tighter than before. But Shiro didn’t hear what anyone said, swept up as he was in gazing at the young man he’d fallen so helplessly in love with. A man who’d grown up without family, who’d somehow found his mother in deep space in the middle of a war. 

_He’s found his family at last._

_He’ll never get to have this, if I can’t stop what’s happening to me._

At the thought, Keith’s eyes caught his. Shiro felt his cheeks burn just slightly, but held his gaze. He couldn’t look away if he wanted to. Keith captured him completely. 

How could Shiro have looked at him like this, hardly a year ago, and not seen what he saw now? How could he have drifted further and further from Keith, convinced it was better to let it go than to ever try?

Then Keith was coming this way. Krolia was following. Shiro set aside his empty plate and stood to greet her. 

“Shiro. We haven’t been properly introduced,” she said, extending her hand in a surprisingly human gesture. There was an uncharacteristic warmth in her smile and her voice, and being on the receiving end of it was almost too much. More than he deserved. 

He took her hand in his Galra one, covering it with his human hand as well. “The pleasure’s all mine, Krolia,” he said softly. Keith stood just behind his mom’s shoulder and blinked at him, seeming surprised at something he’d done. That surprise bloomed into a blushing smile. 

“What?” Shiro couldn’t help asking. 

Keith shifted his weight, eyeing the floor before looking up again. “I dunno, Shiro. You’re just… so damn charming sometimes.” Shiro gulped, his face hot, but Krolia just laughed softly. 

“What a crime,” she drawled in a manner that could only have come from Earth. Then she opened her arms to Shiro. This was… new. He stepped into her arms gratefully. She whispered low at his ear, “Thank you for being there for him when I could not be.” Her words seized his heart. 

“Always,” he whispered back. The oath came unbidden, as easy as breathing. He knew he’d fight with everything he had to do right by Keith. _Whatever it takes_. 

Pulling back, she met his eyes. “I know you by Keith’s memories. You are a good man. I realize it’s all a bit unorthodox, your… time travel. But you’ve never done him wrong. Remember that.” 

Shiro’s expression felt as vacant as his mind in that moment, as she gave his shoulders a squeeze before stepping back. What had she seen? Not that he was at all opposed to having her blessing, but… Krolia had never spoken to him like this. It was honestly a bit unsettling. 

Keith put one hand on Shiro’s shoulder as he stepped nearer.

“I wanted to let you eat first, but- I need your help with something,” Keith said.  

Shiro met his eyes. “What’s that?”

“You said _my_ Shiro’s in the black lion’s consciousness?” Keith’s eyes were deadly serious. Shiro nodded. “I need to find him. I have to get him back. But… I don’t know how.” 

“Okay,” he breathed, whipping his thoughts into motion. The conversations around them had fallen off sharply; everyone wanted to listen to this part. “We’ll need Allura’s help, if you’re willing, Princess,” he met her eyes as she gave a quick nod. “I’m not sure how you did it before, not exactly, but you used magic to transfer my soul out of the black lion, carrying it in yourself until you released it into the clone’s body… er- this body.”

Keith looked startled. “What? But, what happens to you?” 

Shiro frowned. “This never came up before. I… I think I have to leave first, so that he can _have_ this body. But I don’t know how to do that—”

“—No,” Keith gripped his wrist tightly, his eyes wide. “I’m- sorry, I just. I’m not ready for you to go.”

Shiro smiled sadly. “That makes two of us. And there’s another problem, besides,” he cringed. “I’ve only caused the _kire_ to engage one way so far, and there’s no way I’m allowing that to happen,” Shiro glared at nothing and everything, his eyes distant. “We’ll have to find another way.”

“And even if you _did_ manage to leave,” Keith wondered aloud, “what happens to the clone, to Kuron, when she brings Shiro back?” 

“Keith,” Shiro sighed, “the clone was dying.” The words stung his throat; he was so tired of being the bearer of bad news. “Haggar torched him with her power when she made him fight you. Pushed him harder than he could take. He fought you right to the edge of death. You,” Shiro swallowed thickly, “you barely survived it. Kuron... wasn’t going to make it.” 

Keith nodded even as he frowned, his thoughts distant and dark as thunderclouds. “Right. That makes sense.”

Shiro gave him a questioning look. 

“I saw the fight,” Keith said simply, “in the abyss. Mom and I got flashes of it, a few times. Bits and pieces, but I got the idea. I didn’t know what the pods were, though now I figure they held clones.”

Shiro had frozen, standing right in the center of the lounge, all eyes on him. He had wondered what glimpses of the future Keith had seen, even more so since his own bout of time travel began. But he never, never imagined Keith had seen _that_ coming. He could still see the shock and fear in his eyes as Keith watched the pods light up with copies of himself inside. He remembered how Keith quaked as Kuron approached from the shadows, dark and threatening. _He couldn’t have known… could he?_

“I’d never been so afraid of you,” Keith swallowed. “Er, not _you,_  but… whatever had control of you. There was that bright energy sword I’d never seen. I felt my face burning. I never saw how it ended.” 

“Keith- why?” Shiro’s voice was a whimper. “If you knew, why would you follow me there?”

“It was _you_. I had to,” he looked Shiro in the eyes. “I thought you knew that by now. I couldn’t not go after you. There’s no other way.”

Keith’s eyes were impossibly dark set in fair skin, marred by that foreign, off-kilter scar. Shiro reached out to stroke his other cheek where the scar _should_ be, where it never would be. He was vaguely aware of everyone looking on, but couldn’t stop himself from pulling Keith close. 

“It doesn’t matter what we’re up against, Shiro,” Keith’s voice was slightly muffled at his shoulder. “I will always come for you.” 

He heard a sniff somewhere. Hunk? Lance? Possibly both. Shiro pulled back to look at Keith squarely again. 

“You believed you were going to your death,” Shiro’s mouth was dry, “and you didn’t hesitate.” 

Keith raised an eyebrow at him. “Well look at that. He’s learning,” he huffed a mirthless laugh. There were some quiet laughs around the room, but Krolia’s expression was the same, standing behind Keith and looking on with a calm, knowing smile. 

Shiro’s cheeks were beginning to burn from all the attention. 

“Can we… walk a minute?”

“Yeah, Shiro,” Keith agreed. “Of course.”

When they reached the corridor, Keith touched Shiro’s arm. Shiro looked at him questioningly until he thought he’d caught on to his meaning. Keith was offering comfort, but not entirely sure how to do it. “I- I didn’t know that Kuron didn’t make it. I would’ve tried to save him—I know I would have. I’m… sorry that I couldn’t.”

Shiro felt his heart surge. It took him totally by surprise, Keith’s concern for the part of him that was the _imposter_ , the clone. 

 _I’m not a monster,_ he’d said, and he meant it. But that Keith fought for Kuron’s life as he would Shiro’s, as if his origins made no difference to him, was somehow more than he ever expected. He felt his eyes sting with the threat of tears. 

“It doesn’t seem fair,” Keith said finally. “He deserved better.” 

“Keith,” Shiro’s voice came out low and thick with emotion. “You fought for him. Of course you did. You could’ve saved yourself, but you hung onto him the whole time.”

Keith swallowed. “How could you know that?”

“I saw that through the black lion’s eyes. When she rushed to save you. You were falling and you wouldn’t let him go-” Shiro cut himself off, choked with emotion. Keith stroked his shoulders soothingly.

“And I remember the rest, too” he said quietly, starting to walk with Keith at his side. “When- when you brought Shiro back, Kuron- he became part of me, in a way. What was left of him. His memories, mostly.”

Keith took in Shiro’s expression and finally released a breath he’d been holding. Twining their fingers, he squeezed them gently. “Well that’s something.” Then Keith was quiet, thoughtful as they walked. 

“Did I say it?”

Shiro looked at him, half-startled. _He couldn't mean_... “That you love me?”

Keith sighed. 

“You saw that future?” 

“No, but I- saw that I was done for, most likely. And I figured that if this was it, there was something I had to say. If it changed nothing, so be it. But- I had to believe it would matter.”

Shiro swallowed hard. “It did. You broke through her control. Only for a moment. And when you severed the arm, Kuron saw you once more, shocked and… grateful.” 

Keith smiled sadly, but kept his thoughts to himself. They walked quietly side-by-side for a while. Wandering into the observatory, they stood in silence looking out at the cosmos. Keith was the first to break the spell.

“I’m worried about Shiro,” he said softly. “Trapped out there. Hell, he must feel so alone. I want more time with you, and yet- I can’t just stand by, wondering, _knowing_ he’s out there... I told you, I have to go after him.”

Shiro nodded, considering. “Maybe you can talk to him, Keith.” 

Keith’s head whipped up. “How?”

“You’ll have to reach the astral plane first. The rest of the team did it, once; I tried to get Lance’s attention, to warn him from the other side, but it was all over so fast.”

“Astral plane, huh?” 

“Yeah. It’s doable, it just takes some practice.”

The set of Keith’s jaw changed. “Show me.”

 

+

 

Shiro had led others through meditation before. And he’d become so at home in the astral plane himself, it should have been easy enough. 

Which meant he was unprepared for a miserable failure.

He heard Keith sigh heavily for about the twentieth time. It was the last straw. Shiro shot to his feet, pacing agitatedly at the foot of the black lion. He couldn’t even hear the lions, any of them, let alone find the astral realm. 

“What did I do?” Keith rasped, looking up from the floor of Black’s hangar. 

“Nothing!” Shiro stormed, mostly to himself. “Absolutely nothing.”

“I thought you did this all the time,” Keith said flatly. 

“I have—I do! It should be easy,” he bit out angrily. 

“Well, maybe if you could be a _bit_ more specific,” Keith shot back irritably, “I could try to find this ‘thread’ you keep talking about.”

“Pointless,” Shiro spat. 

Keith sighed. “Dunno what you want from me, Shiro. But I think that’s enough trying for now.” 

Shiro shot him a look that said _Quitter_ , which brought Keith’s hackles up immediately. 

“Oh. Don’t you dare,” Keith growled from the floor. “Maybe if you’d try to _actually_ help me instead of sulking, we’d be getting somewhere! Black is in my head right now, and let me tell you, she is _not pleased_ that we’re wasting time on this one.” 

Shiro startled, studying Keith like there was something he’d missed. “So you hear her?”  

“I’ve been trying to tell you that,” Keith groaned in frustration. “Look, I’m sorry you’re cut off. Maybe it was the sedative. Maybe when Hagger took you over, Black shut you out to protect Voltron. Maybe you’re just too tense. I don’t know. But is this about you, or about _someone_ reaching Shiro?”

Shiro felt the fight drain right out of him. He rubbed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” he said quietly. “I- didn’t mean to lash out. It’s just... really uncomfortable,” he met Keith’s eyes apologetically. 

Keith’s look softened. He scooted back to lean against Black’s paw, motioning for Shiro to join him.

When he went to him, Keith twined their fingers tightly, resting their hands on Shiro’s knee. 

“I lost my bond with Black in the other timeline, too. She never took me back after that, and I think I understand it. But that’s not all,” he glanced at Keith’s eyes, then quickly away. 

“I never lost my connection to the astral realm after I came back from- _existing_ there so long. It’s why we decided I needed to go for the _kire_ , because I could navigate that place so well. Sometimes too well. I would- I dunno, just- drift there? Whenever I closed my eyes,” Shiro eyed Keith cautiously, watching him absorb this information. “And now I can’t even find it, and I haven’t been dreaming since I got to this time. I’m kind of afraid of what that could mean.” 

Keith schooled his expression, but Shiro knew how to spot the signs of tension in his jaw. 

“So… what are you afraid it could mean?”

Shiro swallowed. “There’s a part of me here from the future, carried by the artifact. My- my _consciousness_ , I guess? Pidge took scans, showed how the artifact kind of takes over my body in my past. And beneath that, there’s the clone’s body, the clone’s mind. But I think my _soul_ is out there, Keith, disconnected from me. I think I can’t get to the astral plane because- the clone has a mind of his own, but maybe doesn’t have his own soul.” 

Keith blinked, considering this idea. He nodded. “Okay, but what does that mean?”

“I’m not totally sure, but… it’s not safe to be in the astral realm, if Haggar is looking for me there.”

“What?!” Keith recoiled in horror. 

Shiro tried to keep his tone even, even as his stomach dropped through the floor. “She is- well, like a very powerful druid, if you think about it. And her druid was able to find me in that realm, in the last jump. The druid was drawn to the _kire_ , I realized, and so I fled back to my body. I tried to stay out of the astral realm after that. If my soul is there now—well, _without_ the artifact, thank the gods—but if she’s looking for me there, I’m not sure I’d see her coming. I’d be… defenseless.”

Keith looked gutted. “My dream, Shiro. Fuck, I knew it was real.”

Shiro frowned. “Your nightmare?” Keith nodded, eyes closed tightly. “Keith, what are you saying?”

“I felt her torturing you!” Keith whined. “What if I was projecting then, Shiro? You said it’s tied to dreaming, I heard you say it. Last night, I was- worrying- about part of you being stranded out there, feeling desperate to go after him. And what if I did, Shiro?”

Shiro wanted to deny it, grasped for any other explanation, but he knew it was pointless. It was exactly what he feared, and he couldn’t protect Keith from the truth. 

“And then I felt her torturing you.” Keith was shaking, his eyes white-hot with rage. Shiro thought he saw just the start of fangs forming. “I couldn’t see you, but I felt your pain,” Keith gulped, “and I heard you screaming.” 

Shiro’s face crumpled even as he reached to comfort him. “Keith, I’m- I’m so sorry—”

“—We have to stop her! What does she hope to gain from this?”

Shiro blinked. “My surrender. She’ll demand the artifact, which we can’t even consider. There’s nothing we can do.” 

“Bullshit!” Keith fumed, pushing up from his seat. “I will not sit here while she, what? Tortures your soul for all of eternity?” Keith’s chest heaved. “Forget about it. I’m going after him.” 

“It’s suicide, Keith!”

“And what else is new?”

That stopped Shiro in his tracks. “What are you saying?”

Keith just shook his head, storming towards the hanger doors. Shiro found himself running after him. 

“Where are you going? Keith! You’ll just be giving her what she wants.” 

“Then you can go back and try again, right?” Keith shot back over his shoulder. “Isn’t that how this works?”

It was a punch in the gut. “No. No, Keith, I can’t let you—” When he grabbed for Keith’s shoulder, he spun on him, eyes flashing wild. 

“—You can’t stop me.”

Shiro pulled him into his arms. 

“K- Keith, I can’t lose you. Please. Maybe we stand a chance this way. She can’t get to the _kire_. It’s a terrible sacrifice, but don’t you think Shiro would want it this way?”

His words broke through the dam, the wall of anger holding back Keith’s fear. “Of course you would,” Keith shuddered into Shiro’s shoulder, as furious as he was sad, “don’t you think I know you _that_ well by now? But I can’t let you do this. I won’t.”

“So your life for mine,” Shiro demanded angrily at his ear, “is that it? Dammit, Keith, just stop and think about it. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for the universe. I never wanted you to give it all up for me.”

“You don’t understand,” Keith gulped through frustrated tears, pulling back to meet Shiro’s eyes as he rubbed the wet streaks away. “And you never will, if I don’t do this.”

He pulled back a step or two towards the door. 

“I have to save you, Shiro. So that someday we can be together.”

For a moment, Shiro thought he understood. It was _hope_. Hope that if he did everything right, if he gave it his all, it would turn out alright. Where Keith came by that hope, Shiro wasn’t sure he could fathom. But Keith believed that there was light at the other end of this miserable tunnel, and he wasn’t one to fear the darkness in his path. He moved with purpose, with certainty that left Shiro dashing to catch up. 

 

+

 

When Shiro caught up to him, Keith was on the bridge with all of the paladins, Krolia and Coran. He didn’t like the pitying looks he was getting from the group as they spotted him, but worse was the look Keith gave him when he turned. 

Shiro could almost feel the wind of a psychic door slamming in his face. Keith was shutting him out. This was not going to go well. 

Hunk was the first into the fray. 

“So, when you said Shiro was okay, you left off the part about being _tortured_ by everyone’s-favorite-witch?” His tone was scathing, masking deep hurt. 

“I didn’t know,” Shiro sighed, resigned. “I didn’t realize what was going on until I tried to meditate.”

“You didn’t _think?”_ Pidge snapped.

Allura frowned, cutting them off with a gesture. “I’d like to go down to Black’s hanger and try to sense Shiro, see if I can reach him. But I do expect there will be resistance.”

“I’m going, too,” Keith said flatly. 

Shiro tried to interject gently. “But you couldn’t before, Keith—” 

“—I’ll figure it out,” he growled back. “I’m not leaving you out there.” 

“Enough, you two,” Allura sighed. “We will all go together. Except Shiro, who cannot. I will do my best to guide you. As a group, we may just stand a chance against Haggar.”

“It’s madness, Allura,” Shiro said quietly. Everyone turned to face him, their expressions firm, united in a way he didn’t expect. They’d already made up their minds. 

“She is even stronger in that realm,” Shiro continued past their resolute stares; he had to speak his piece, but he sounded defeated even to his own ears. “There are no… physical limitations. She’ll have the upper hand in ways you can’t possibly fathom. How does it serve Shiro, for you all to die needlessly? How does it serve the universe?”

Hunk blinked at him. “How can you say that? Needless? We won’t just abandon you.”

“We don’t leave anyone behind,” Pidge agreed. 

“You led the charge yourself, when we went back for Allura,” Lance said. “Keith wasn’t so keen on that move, I recall, but he doesn’t have the same reservations about going after you—”

“—Lance,” Keith groaned, “will you lay off?”

Lance winced. “Sorry, man.” Keith just nodded at him. A truce. 

Shiro had all but given up reasoning with them, when Krolia spoke up from the edge of the group. 

“Shiro is likely correct about the risk,” she said evenly, causing heads to turn, “but we don’t hold all the cards.” It was a curious idiom for a Galra to use, another mark of her time on Earth. “I believe my son is correct that we must risk everything to this end, because the alternatives are worse.”

“What do you mean, Krolia?” Allura asked.

“This timeline is a splinter,” she replied, “caused by Shiro’s use of the artifact. None of this was supposed to happen. None of this is how the timeline is meant to proceed. We saw moments of our future in the cosmic abyss, and this is not that future.”

“I see,” Allura said.

“Without the artifact, our mission has been to free the universe from the Empire,” Krolia continued, choosing every word with care, “And risking the Paladins of Voltron—all of them—would be too great a cost to rescue one member.”

Shiro almost felt validated. Almost. Because he knew that a ‘but’ was coming next. 

“ _With_ the artifact in play, our mission must be to prevent Haggar from obtaining that amulet, by any means necessary. The stakes are that high.”

Shiro squared his shoulders as he took this in. He knew where this was going, and though he didn’t appreciate it one bit, she was right. These were his own words turned back in his face. The witch _knew_ ; whatever the sacrifice, Honerva must be stopped, or outmaneuvered, immediately. She must not be given the opportunity to regroup and plan how she might snare the ultimate prize. 

Krolia looked between Allura, Keith, and Shiro in turn. 

“Whatever the risk, you must take this fight to Haggar. Only with her destruction can we allow this timeline to continue; if you cannot beat her, then Shiro must use the artifact again to buy the universe another chance. This requires that we risk it all.”

 

+

 

Coran and Romelle remained on the bridge to keep an eye out for Lotor’s generals and the threat they posed, while the rest of the group moved to Black’s hangar together. Keith and Shiro trailed behind the others. 

“It won’t end here,” Keith said simply. “Your heart won’t let me go.”

Shiro’s gait faltered. He stopped there in the corridor, letting his eyes fall closed. “Are you saying that I should? Because I don’t think I’m strong enough.”

“No,” Keith cooed, his tone almost a whisper. “You endure. You flow and bend and you won’t break. You fall and you rise and you try again, Shiro, until you master it. You’ve always been like that. It _is_ strength.”

Shiro met his eyes then. 

“Hang on for me,” Keith reached for Shiro’s face. “I’m hanging on for you.”

Shiro pressed Keith’s palm into his cheek with his human hand. “Please don’t go where I can’t follow.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Shiro. You have to go where _I_ can’t follow,” he replied. “And I trust you to find your way back to me. But I need you to learn to trust me, too.”

Shiro crushed him to his chest in a desperate embrace. “Of course I do.”

Keith ducked his face into the crook of his neck, placing a firm kiss there. Then another at his ear, and the corner of his jaw. By the time their lips met, Shiro’s lips trembled. Their kiss was rougher than usual, aching with frustration. Keith steadied himself with a grip on Shiro’s shoulders, stepping back to face him.

“Then show me,” Keith said. 

And with that, he turned into the hanger and approached the black lion’s impassive face. The paladins and Krolia were already gathered there before the great cat’s feet. Shiro fell in step behind Keith, his stomach twisting with dread. 

Allura stood facing Black, her eyes closed. 

“I sense him,” she said at last. “I sense his- suffering.”

Keith’s jaw clenched. “What is the plan,” he replied tonelessly. 

Allura turned, blinking her eyes open. “I believe we should form a circle here, and meditate on the bond as we have done before. The bond to each of our lions. To each other. And to Shiro, who is our sincere friend,” she looked at Shiro then, a kind smile on her lips. Then she looked at each of the others. “The lions will help us reach him. The rest is up to us.”

Krolia looked at Shiro. “We will watch over you from here.”

The five sat cross-legged, close enough to link their hands. Keith sat with Lance as his right hand, Pidge his left, then Hunk and Allura completed the circle. No one questioned the arrangement. Although Allura guided them, Keith was their commander now, their black paladin. They were following him into the dark, chins held high. 

How did these kids learn so young to give up so much? 

It made Shiro proud, even as it threatened to break his heart. 

Shiro kneeled outside the circle between Keith and Lance, out of the way but easily within reach. As they set to work focusing on their bond, he watched and he listened. What he wouldn’t give for something to _do_. He felt worse than useless. 

Well, Keith had asked for his trust. Shiro believed in him, profoundly. His strength, his courage, his goodness. His fierce love.

He thought that was enough. But could he let him do this, let him make this choice?

Keith had watched him go where he couldn’t follow. When he left for Kerberos. When he decided to take Sendak’s cruiser down with his own hands. When Shiro entered that strange cave where light and sound died on the threshold. 

He couldn’t change what must be done. But he could give him a rope—a way home. 

As Keith meditated, Shiro imagined time was that rope. It wound through each of them, coiled inside him, tethered to their shared histories. 

He’d hold the line for them. He’d keep the tension, so they could find their way back. And if they got lost on the other side, he’d haul them back. This was something he could do. 

Maybe all they needed was more time. 

Allura was the first to tense, her body reacting to the fight in her mind. The others remained stoic, focused, almost angelic. Then Hunk coughed up blood.

Krolia went to him, made report like a proper soldier would, but Shiro heard little of it. Shiro was feeling for slack in the line. Hunk was hanging on. 

A shocked sound came from Lance, his posture slumping as when a puppet’s strings have been cut. Shiro’s hand on his spine lowered him to the deck. Shiro felt the moment when Lance and Hunk’s hearts stopped, almost the same instant.

Keith’s serene appearance no doubt masked a ferocious fight; the others’ faces strained. Shiro wasn’t surprised; when Keith set his mind to something, when he knew what he was fighting for, he was all in. Nothing would be held back, reserved for a tomorrow that wouldn’t come. Nothing would be spared. 

Pidge wheezed as they collapsed to their side. Krolia said what Shiro already knew. Their rope ended abruptly like the others. Shiro gathered the ends. 

Only Allura and Keith remained now. Shiro held firm, tethering their cords to his chest as the invisible battle went on. There was no telling how much time had passed. A faint light of quintessence shone from the princess as she drove at the unseen witch with all her power. 

He heard a faint choking sound from Keith, like he was struggling to breathe. Shiro looked at him carefully. He looked... beautiful and serene, a healthy blush on his cheeks from the exertion. Shiro could almost believe he’d just stepped off the training deck to wipe the sweat from his brow before going back in. But it wouldn’t last. His lungs gasped for air that wouldn’t come and he started to look pale. 

_Please, Keith._

_Please hold on for me._

Allura groaned in frustration, straining even as her quintessence shown brighter still—brighter than Shiro had ever seen. She was facing Honerva head-on, putting up a glorious fight. She wasn’t losing, but she wasn’t winning. 

And Keith was suffocating. Whatever trapped him, he must think he can’t breathe. The soul didn’t need air, of course, but try telling that to the mind. 

Shiro moved fast on his knees in front of Keith and pulled his mouth to his. Like a kiss, but not quite. Parting Keith’s lips, Shiro breathed hard into Keith’s mouth; the paladin tensed, resisting, disoriented. Shiro had to try twice more before something gave way and Keith accepted the air like a drowning man. 

Shiro watched over him, breath after labored breath. He felt Keith’s hands come to his hips, but his eyes never opened; Keith stayed in the fight, but now his mind remembered his body. He was breathing on his own now. 

Letting his forehead rest against Keith’s, Shiro fought against tears. His heart panged as he felt Keith’s lifeline shudder and jerk, but he would not slow down. Keith wielded his very life as a weapon, a garrote meant for that witch who _dared_ _threaten his family_. 

Allura cried out in alarm, but Shiro already knew. He felt the snap of the line cleave his heart as Keith slumped in his arms. Shiro’s heart lurched, clutching at the jagged end of Keith’s severed life while the _kire_ blazed to life. 

Shiro felt them all—Hunk, Lance, Pidge, Keith. He felt their ends, and then the frame tilted; their ends were their beginnings. Time could flow backward just as readily as forward. It only required a little imagination.

Allura’s quintessence surrounded them, dimming as the _kire_ shone brighter. She was dying. She was dying to give them all a chance. Shiro wouldn’t let her down. 

Shiro held her line, grasped it with the others. With the ones he couldn’t let go.

He held them, and when Allura’s light burned out, Shiro _hauled_. 

He hauled with all of his strength. All his love. 

_I love them. I will not lose them._

_I’m bringing them_ all _home._

 

+++

**Author's Note:**

> Comments give me life. ^_^ Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
> 
> Here is a running list of episodes that correspond to the chapters in this work:  
> Chapter 1 - S8:70, _Day Forty-Seven;_  
>  Chapter 2 - S8:68-69, _The Grudge, Genesis;_  
>  Chapter 3 - S7:60-63, _Heart of the Lion, Trial by Fire, Lions' Pride 1 & 2;_  
> Chapter 4 - S7:55, _The Ruins;_  
>  Chapter 5 - S6:47-48, _The Colony, The Black Paladins;_  
>  Chapter 6 - S6:48, _The Black Paladins;_  
>  Chapter 7 - S4:37-S5:38, _A New Defender, The Prisoner;_  
>  { to be continued }


End file.
